My Second Birth

The birth of my second son was very rapid and hence the story of his birth is much shorter than my first birth story!

The Birth Story of Zander Thomas

By his mama, Molly M. Remer


Zander Thomas was born swiftly and smoothly at home on Monday, May 29, 2006 at 2:45 a.m. Birth weight: 9lbs 2oz! Length: 21 ¼ inches. Head circumference: 14 ¾ inches. The labor and birth lasted a very intense & surprising total of two hours…

After a few hours of regularly spaced practice contractions during the afternoon of May 28th, I woke at 12:45 a.m. on May 29th finally having some “real” feeling contractions—I had tons of practice contractions throughout my pregnancy with Zander (including four different episodes earlier in May of several hours each with contractions every 5 minutes or so, but not with that real feeling edge to them). When I greeted these contractions in the very early morning, I felt a distantly familiar sharper edge to them and a sort of “sick” feeling as they built and peaked, instead of the gripping tension of practice contractions. I decided I needed to use the bathroom and spent 15 minutes in there considering whether something was really happening or not (loose BM’s made me think I could possibly just be feeling “cramps”!). I was disappointed that I had no “show” or any promising discharge at all ;-) I told the baby that it was okay to come out and we were ready for him. I finally left the bathroom and paced around the kitchen watching the clock on the microwave and wondering if it was too early to wake up Mark. At 1:30 a.m., I woke him up to tell him, “Something is definitely going on!” I got out my birth ball and we worked through about 3 contractions together, chattering excitedly in between about when to call our support people. I told Mark about not seeing any “show” yet and so it might not be the real thing after all—I rubbed my belly and said, “come out blood!,” got up to go to the bathroom and was pleased to see some nice bloody show! I felt pretty hyper and cheerful and was trying to figure out when I could take a shower and so forth. The contractions picked up even more to what seemed like 1 or less minutes apart—we stopped watching the clock after the first three on the birth ball, which had gone from 5 minutes, to 4 minutes, and then 3 minutes. It was like watching a labor in fast forward! I decided there was no time for a shower, but brushed my hair and put it in a ponytail and after two more contractions, asked Mark to run and get my birth shirt and my birth bracelet (from my Blessingway ceremony in April). It was about 2:00 a.m. at this point and we decided to call Mom and my midwife.

I kept wanting to lean on something, but having trouble finding the right height. I was compelled to lean on something though (the recliner was too rocky, the birth ball was too low…). Mark suggested himself :) I hung on him during several back-to-back contractions and realized that I was starting to feel some pushy pressure. I felt like squeezing my legs together, but instead reminding myself to let my legs be open and to be a clear, open channel for birth. I also said, “It’s okay baby, you can come out!” Mom arrived at about this time (approximately 2:15) and shortly after, I dropped to my hands and knees with my head and arms leaning over the birth ball. I quickly decided I felt like I was “standing on my head” and so pushed away the ball and went to straight hands and knees with my head leaning on Mark and his arms around me. I kept saying, “This is MAJOR!” I was pushing a little at peaks of contractions and vocalizing loudly as well as continuing to talk myself down out of feeling out of control with an ongoing chant of, “It’s okay, I’m okay, it’s okay.” I also made a joke about maybe only being 2 centimeters dilated ;)

I felt something drip and asked if it was fluid. Mom said “no” and I pushed again and my water broke with a soft warm gush (Mom said, “now it is!”) I asked if it was clear and it was. It was about 2:30 and I felt pushy in earnest. I soon started to feel some burning and knew the baby was coming soon. Lann woke at this point and joined us in the living room, held by Mom. I heard the midwife’s car pull up at about 2:40 and Zander’s head was fully crowning as she came in (no time for gloves!). I was conscious of letting myself gradually push him out, waiting for each urge instead of pushing through it (I also began to feel a tearing sensation in front). The midwife let me know as I eased out his eyebrows, then eyes, then nose, and entire head and then he blooped out at 2:45 a.m.! I sat down and she passed him around to me. I saw right away that he was a boy, just as seven different dreams had told me prenatally! My sweet new baby was all warm and slippery and covered with blood (me too! Even my feet! The blood was from two labial tears, one sort of inner “split” and the other right next to my previous unrepaired tear. Perineum, normal and intact—I tear the “wrong” way instead. Lucky me :(). Zander cried one small cry as we was being passed to me and then was quiet and snuggly. As he was born, Lann called out, “I like him! I like him!” Zander rooted around and nursed on both sides shortly after birth and the placenta followed spontaneously about 40 minutes after his birth.

This labor and birth literally drove me to my knees with its intensity. I felt a bit like it was a train and I had to hop on and keep up! I really feel I surrendered to the power of the birthing energy and let it flow and carry me along with it. I did not struggle or resist and if I felt the urge to resist, I consciously “doula’ed” myself to let go and be open.

Birth is an incredible experience that makes me feel so good about myself! I have never felt so awesome and powerful as I do as a birth giver—it is such a meaningful experience. I am pleased with my ability to surrender to the energy and power of birth and to finally, “get out of my head” (I am usually much more intellectual than I am instinctual, but that part blessedly shuts down and lets my instincts work during birth!). I feel I truly and authentically trust birth and that that inner knowing was manifested physically in my birth experience.

13 thoughts on “My Second Birth

  1. Molly,

    I loved reading your birth stories. In your first you said, “Lann’s birth made me feel good about myself in a way that nothing else ever has.” In your second you plumbed it even more, consciously assimilating it in the very moment and said, “I really feel I surrendered to the power of the birthing energy and let it flow and carry me along with it….
    Birth is an incredible experience that makes me feel so good about myself! I have never felt so awesome and powerful as I do as a birth giver—it is such a meaningful experience. I am pleased with my ability to surrender to the energy and power of birth and to finally, “get out of my head” (I am usually much more intellectual than I am instinctual, but that part blessedly shuts down and lets my instincts work during birth!). I feel I truly and authentically trust birth and that that inner knowing was manifested physically in my birth experience.”

    I love what you say! That is the power of birth–finally coming face to face with your own power and relying on it.

    Love what you write on your blogs. Rose

    • Thanks, Rose. I appreciate your observations! A big reason that I do what I do is because I want every woman to have a chance to experience that power in herself. It is an irreplaceable experience.

  2. Molly,

    Exactly right! To experience that power within ourselves is a permanent alteration in who we know ourselves to be. Until we come face to face with a huge challenge and navigate through it, we don’t know the grit we’re made of. To experience our own power awakens us, helps us to find our purpose and meaning, gives us strength to continue through doubt and fear, to summon the bravery to fall and get back up, etc…….
    Blessings upon the work you do. Rose

  3. Hi Molly,

    This story is beautiful. I had to laugh about “This is MAJOR.” Did you just write this? I’m wondering how you remembered everything. I want to write one for Asher’s birth. Your story is just so smooth and pretty.

    Katie

    • Hi Katie,

      Thanks :) I wrote it in my journal when he was a week old. So, it was very fresh! Research has found that women’s memories of their births are remarkably accurate and consistent over time though (like even 30 years later). It isn’t too late to write about Asher’s birth!

      Molly

  4. Pingback: Birth-Day Giveway « Talk Birth

  5. Pingback: Story Power « Talk Birth

  6. There! Read both birth stories again just now — I’m checking them off my preparation “to do” list. I’m feeling more and more ready to observe your awesome and powerful birthing energy!!

  7. Pingback: Z is Six Already! « Talk Birth

  8. Pingback: Reclaiming Birth Knowlege | Rolla Birth Network

  9. Pingback: Tuesday Tidbits: Bragging Rights | Talk Birth

  10. Pingback: Birth Regrets? | Talk Birth

Share Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s