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Ceremony Preparations!

Nov3

My brother got married at my parents’ house early last month and it involved a surprisingly huge amount of work and preparation even though it was a small wedding. Now, we’re getting ready for an overnight women’s retreat at the same location and it feels like almost the same amount of prep work! I’ve been planning and facilitating quarterly women’s spirituality retreats locally for two years. Early this year, we decided to have a special “SageWoman” ceremony in the fall to honor our Queen/Crone members of the circle. It will be similar to a coming of age ceremony for a maiden or a mother blessing ceremony for a pregnant woman. My own mother has already been celebrated multiple times, but the other four honorees have never had a blessingway ceremony—not for coming of age or for pregnancy. (Side note regarding my own mom: she has already been a part of a group ceremony like this for wise women and then through two blessingways during her own pregnancies–I’m one of the only people I know whose mom who was also given blessingways during her pregnancies. I think sometimes the current generation feels like they “invented” them, but there were plenty of awesome women who paved the way to ritually acknowledging the power of the transition to motherhood. In fact, I feel like in many ways, it was my mom who “brought back” the mother blessing to my own circle of friends when she hosted a ceremony for me during my own first pregnancy. Before that, the local women were no longer holding the kinds of ceremonies they’d held during the 80′s.)

We’re having an overnight retreat and planning to have a nighttime ceremony of awesomeness with candlelight and a fire and the deep tones of my new community drum. That’s right, after being totally entranced by the large powwow/community drums at the Goddess festival I attended in Kansas in Sept, I spent way too much money and bought one of my own! We’ve often tried drumming as a group, but just can’t quite get it going. The community drum is going to change all that by involving multiple people on the same drum. Plus, we learned cool chants! I’ve been drumming and singing with my husband since the powwow drum arrived. There is something about the deep sound and the rhythm and the energy of drumming together on the same drum that makes you feel like you are great and could take this show on the road! (I’m not really musically skilled at all, quite the opposite, but the community drum changes that feel of arthymic tone-deafness into awesomeness.)

It is thankfulness-every-day month on Facebook and on Nov. first I shared the following:

Today I’m thankful for a husband that has spent hours and hours this week helping me make presents for MY friends (including a trip to the store today to fix a problem), staying up too late to do so (1:00 a.m. two [three] nights in a row), and patiently persevering when I said I was ready to quit! And, I’m also thankful for a dad and a good friend who spent hours this morning setting up a tipi for us to have a ceremony in this weekend. I guess behind every great women-only ritual are several helpful and awesome men :-)

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And then yesterday, my dad made a beautiful drum stand using native hardwoods (I made the drumstick in the pic, but Mark made four others for us. See what I mean about the awesome, helpful men?! And, unlike popular stereotypes, this is proof that it is possible to be both a feminist and love and appreciate your menfolk :) )

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Since words and ritual creation are my thing, I’ve been working hard creating what I hope will be a beautiful and meaningful ceremony. I will have the ritual outline to share and pictures of the aforementioned gifts I’ve been slaving over after they’ve actually been presented to my friends. Here are two of the readings I’ve chosen to use:

Womanspirit Rising
(an opening. Call and response)

We have come from years of pondering

Silently and alone
As we nurtured our children.

We have come from long, slow generations of women

Who knew their minds
And would not settle

We have come from the ages of pre-history,
Out of the civilizations of Mycenae and Minos
Of Lesbos and Crete.

Of the Olemecs and the Druids
Of Mesopotamia and China

We have come through the ages

Bearing the children,
Nurturing the community
In search of ourselves

We have come to know that

The rising of the womanspirit
Means the rising of humanity

Now we are discovering and re-discovering ourselves

And creating and re-creating
Our depths and our heights…

And our womanspirit is rising
And rising again…

Blessed Be.

—
*From a Unitarian Universalist Women’s meeting in Albuquerque, NM. Reprinted in the book Readings for Women’s Programs
—

Womanspirit Rising
(a closing. Call and response)

We come to stay forever

Our womanspirit is rising
Deepening
Converging

We rejoice in it and in one another

We who are many are also one
We who are one are also many

On behalf of our Sisters around the globe

We give thanks.

On behalf of our Sisters who have gone before us.

We give thanks.

On behalf of our Sisters yet to be born

We give thanks.

We are the past.

And we are the future.

We are the here

And we are the now

We are one, we are Sisters

And our womanspirit is rising
And rising again.

We rejoice in our Sisterhood.

Blessed be.

—
*From a Unitarian Universalist Women’s meeting in Albuquerque, NM . Reprinted in the book Readings for Women’s Programs

New Birth Skills Workshop!

Sep18

Active Birth and Labor Support

Saturday November 17, 6-9:00

Location: Tara Day Spa in Rolla, Missouri

Cost: $35 for the pregnant woman + one support person (husband, partner, relative, friend…)

Workshop description: First, practice active birth techniques and learn about working with pelvic mobility. Next, spend some time learning labor tips and tricks and practicing comfort measures with doulas! Then, enjoy a friendly Q & A session all about what you most want to know. You will have access to three birth professionals for the price of one! We will close with some relaxation skills practice and a guided visualization.

Interested? Please email me and I’ll send you the registration form!

Strong Mothers (& Birth Network Resources)

May26

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers – strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” –Barbara Katz Rothman

This classic quote from Barbara Katz Rothman sums up the potent impact of the birth experience on women’s lives and it seemed like  perfect quote to kick off the website of the Rolla Birth Network that I founded with my birth advocate friends and colleagues. We believe that strong, healthy babies, vibrant families and resourceful communities begin with strong mothers. We chose Strong Mothers, Strong Babies, and Strong Community as our tagline because we believe that when women dig deep into their inner strength, everything else follows. We also chose this as our tagline because it reflects the conviction that women have already got it. They have the inner wisdom and the strength they need. While outside professionals and resources can be tremendously helpful, she’s already got what it takes within her, we may just be a part of helping her to access the strength she already possesses.

We agree with doula and birth educator Heather McCue who said: “The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power.”

On a related note, Holly Kennedy raises this question in her guest editorial in the spring 2011 issue of The Journal of Perinatal Education:

What “matters” in birth is complex, extremely hard to quantify, and will vary from one person to the next…I found myself contemplating what matted most in my ability to support women in birth so they could emerge from the process as strong, healthy mothers. I believe we have collectively lost our way over time about this outcome—the strong mother. The mother’s experience of childbearing, which will affect her forever, can directly influence her future as a mother. How do we address this as a discipline?“

Yes, the strong mother. This is what is about. The strong mother who feels capable and competent in the mothering of her newborn and of her infant as it grows.

Another favorite quote about the strength of women:

“Women are strong, strong, terribly strong. We don’t know how strong until we are pushing out our babies. We are too often treated like babies having babies when we should be in training, like acolytes, novices to high priestesshood, like serious applicants for the space program.”

–Louise Erdrich, The Blue Jay’s Dance

It is also important to note that we believe that strength is found in all kinds of birth experiences from the triumphantly empowered to the extraordinarily taxing and even traumatic. (Previous post about Birth Strength and the quote above.)

So, speaking of birth networks. One of the things that I’ve been excited about working on now that I am not actively teaching birth classes is on projects for our local Birth Network. I’ve wanted to do something like this for ages, feeling excited about the potential and momentum created by bringing multiple people together to collaborate on projects that make a difference in our community. We have some great ideas planned and I feel rejuvenated and enthusiastic after every meeting.

Here are some resources on forming a birth network in your own community:

Tools, Tips and Resources for Birth Networks

Birth Network National Resources

Programs from Athens Birth Circle

Some time ago a follower of this page, Nora from Happy Within, posted to let me know that she hosts a virtual birth circle for mothers. She describes it thusly: “the birthcircle is a virtual community which is a sacred women´s circle about conscious pregnancy and birth and its free. You can get details here: http://happywithin.wordpress.com/your-birthcircle/.” You can also keep up with her work on Facebook.

Pregnancy Pictures

Dec5

During my first pregnancy, my mom took some pictures of me at 37 weeks pregnant:

37w5d, first baby

I like having them and she did a nice job with what we had to work with, but I knew I wanted to do more with my subsequent pregnancies. When I was pregnant with my second, we had a photo session with a local photographer and she took some nice pictures that I’m glad to have:

37weeks, baby #2

She also took the picture I use as my website header, on my FB page, and on my business cards.

During this pregnancy, a friend conveniently and coincidentally decided to open a photography business and she is branching out into pregnancy/maternity pictures. Yesterday, I had a photo shoot with her and I’m happiest with these pictures by far :) She is still working on getting them ready, but here are two that I really like so far:

By K Orozco, Portraits & Paws Photography

33 weeks with Baby Girl

We debated about whether I would be “big” enough at 33 weeks to take pictures then and I think the answer is “yes, I am” ;-D

Make sure to check out Karen’s Facebook page for her business and if you’re local, set up your own appointment!

WomanSpace

Jun2

Yesterday, a friend/colleague and I toured a possible studio space to rent in Rolla. We do not have a particularly clear idea of what we’d like to do exactly, but we have both long felt the desire to create a “women’s resource center” as well as to have a dedicated “birth studio” for our birthwork (she is a doula and I’m a birth educator and soon to be prenatal yoga teacher). The space felt perfect and was in our exact price range. I left feeling tremendously excited and inspired about the possibilities. Later that evening, the doubts, realities, and fears started to crowd in—I do not want to live a fear-based life, but I also want to be “practical” (which can be a handicap as well as an asset). I have too much to do already, etc., etc. In February, after my miscarriages, I took a personal renewal retreat in which I kept my computer off for 5 days and spent the time nurturing myself and doing those many things I always say I “really want to do.” During that time, I spontaneously wrote a description in my notebook of the women’s center I envision. So, this morning I opened up my notebook and re-read my “vision” there. I want to share it now and continue to explore the possibilities angle of the studio opportunity, rather than get bogged down in fears and self-doubts:

I visualize a center. A place where women can come together to learn, to talk, to develop, to grow. A safe place. A nurturing place. A supportive place. Hostess to LLL meetings, book clubs, birth circle, birth info nights, prenatal yoga classes, birth classes, birth art workshops, pregnancy retreats, journaling workshops, craft classes, crafty mamas meetings, a miscarriage support group, postpartum mamas support group, birth counseling/consultation sessions, dancing for birth, prenatal bellydance, drop-in support chats, blessingways, red tent events, meet the doulas night, Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal groups, women’s spirituality circles, playgroups, baby massage classes, baby/tot yoga, girls’ coming of age classes, an ICAN chapter, Friends of Missouri Midwives meetings. A gathering place. A woman’s place.

It will have a large, open meeting room, access to a bathroom and another, smaller room that could be an office, consult room, or playroom. We will have counter space to plug in some minimal cooking implements (like a microwave). There will be comfy couches, chairs, toys, a lending library of books and films as well as perhaps toys/games/puzzles. There will be big pillows on the floor and beautiful art all over the walls. Other women wishing to have groups/classes for women, could also use the space for their groups/events.

Think we can do it? (And, if so, what can I not do to make space in my life for it? ;-) )

In a way, my vision is that this will be that classic “room of one’s one” that every woman needs access to. WomanSpace.

Rolla Area Doula Recommendation

Mar3

Summer Eyberg has been a colleague and friend of mine for many years. Late last year, I was privileged to received Summer’s skills as a doula during my third pregnancy and also postpartum when that pregnancy ended unexpectedly during the fourth month. Summer has an amazing gift of presence—she is open and receptive and listens without judgment. She is also skilled at always returning decision-making power to the hands of the mother (where it belongs!). I have always been impressed with Summer’s ability to notice when something needs to be done and how she quickly and graciously moves to do it without fanfare. Summer is also friendly, passionate, and easy to trust and she has a natural gift in celebrating and honoring pregnant women.

Summer’s compassionate attention and sensitive listening have blessed me beyond measure and I am lucky to call her my doula and my friend!

—

Summer can be contacted via Peaceful Beginnings Doula Services or via Facebook

New Birth Classes for 2009!

Dec13

In addition to my usual six week class series and the single night class options, as of January 2009 I am offering several new classes to meet the varying needs of families in the community.

  1. A four week series of classes for people who are well-read about birth and their choices in childbirth and/or who are having a subsequent child (the six week series is recommended for people expecting their first baby).
  2. A three week “birth share” series–an informal, Q & A, spontaneous approach to childbirth education.
  3. A weekend refresher series (or CBE crash course) offered on a Saturday and Sunday for 3 hours each day.
  4. A 3-4 week Creative Birth series that focuses on birth art and a personal growth approach to birth education (this series is still under development).

World Breastfeeding Week T-Shirts

Aug19

We have a number of t-shirts left from our World Breastfeeding Week event in Rolla on August 9. The shirts are a light sage green with dark brown printing. The printing says Breastfeeding: Baby Friendly, Mother Friendly, Earth Friendly. The back of the shirt has the logos of our three generous t-shirt sponsors: Town & Country Bank, Il Bacio Day Spa, and St. James Veterinary Clinic. The shirts are $10 each with a range in sizes of small all the way to 2XL. If you would like to buy one, please email me. ($3 shipping if you live outside of the area.)