Finishing Up!

I have had a crabby and annoying day for much of the day, which is not the frame of mind I envisioned being in when writing this post! I originally set out to write about what a nice time I’ve been having the last couple of days, sooooo….going to just write and perhaps I’ll recapture some of the peace and sense of harmony that was prompting me to write in the first place!

On Sunday, I had a very delightful time spontaneously working on the birth altar I planned to make. When I say spontaneous, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t know I was going to do it—I knew I was, someday—just that I suddenly started working on it and basically didn’t quit until I was finished and it came together in a perfect way for me. I felt so good and content after making it. Inspired by that experience, I then wrote down a list of my fears about the birth (this was also on my to-do-before-actual-birthing-day list) and then did a Hypnobabies “fear release” session after that. And, then I burned them all up in the kitchen sink. More good feelings!

Also on Sunday, while the kids were at my parents’ house, I worked in the bedroom getting all of the baby’s clothes sorted and into the right boxes as well as assembling my special tub of birth supplies so that everything is easily available in one place and no one has to ask me for anything—I even put a box of raspberry leaf tea in, which could also easily just stay in the cupboard where it usually lives, but it is right there with everything else now. While I was doing this, Mark worked on sorting out his own clothes and decluttering the closet. We also decluttered some of the “hot spots” on our kitchen counters that attract random piles of nothing important. So, more good feelings about that!

The next morning, I woke up before the kids and did the Hypnobabies “visualize your perfect birth” exercise (not a CD, my imagination). It suggested spending about 5 minutes and I spent almost 20 minutes—since I am having some strange “death” fears about this birth, I went ahead and carried the visualization through to my being 89 and then to the baby being 89 ;-D Maybe this was excessive, but I felt good about it—ending the visualization with just the initial “hi, baby!” moment didn’t feel like enough to me! So, then I felt really positive and complete about that šŸ™‚ I also finished my birth altar that morning—I put a glaze over the images, took pictures, etc. I also listened to the pregnancy and birth affirmations from Hypnobabies while I did some of my other work. Later, we went on a nature exploration walk in the woods to enjoy the nice weather and when we came back, I read some of my kids’ homebirth books to them—Welcome with Love, Runa’s Birth, and We’re Having a Homebirth. They are excited and want to be there when the baby is born, but I’m strongly leaning toward only having them present if they happen to wake up. I don’t know that I want them woken up if they’re not ready (I realized this for sure after Z mentioned how he is going to be “screaming” when the baby is born. Um. No, thanks on that).

Then, on Tuesday, I had some more belly pictures taken. It is fun to be “special” and get my pictures taken šŸ™‚ I love all of the ones I’ve seen so far from this shoot, but these two are really good!

Today, I had my first prenatal appointment with my midwife at our own house. I’ve spent the entire pregnancy not being able to picture her in our home and so, now, I can—because she’s actually been here. I hadn’t really realized before that she hasn’t really ever met Mark or my mom, other than very short introductions about 6 years ago! She seems to think I will have the baby early—baby’s head is very low (which I can feel, for sure!) and she said my amniotic fluid has decreased. She also thinks baby is on the small side, but I think I will fool people once again. I only measure 33 weeks, which is kind of funny, because I wonder what I would look like measuring 40 weeks—I guess pretty extreme! I have been having a lot of pre-birthing waves (trying out my Hypnobabies words!). I always do, but they’ve definitely increased in frequency to about every 15-20 minutes throughout the day. I also reminded her that I don’t expect to call her until near the end, because what I want from her is immediate postpartum help—I like being almost alone during my birthing time (more Hypnobabies words. I like this one especially—it isn’t “labor” it is my “birthing time.” :))

After the midwife left, my mom stayed and we went through my box of birth supplies so she knows what is where. I also made sure she knows how to use my camera because she is on picture-duty. I also showed Mark and my mom the things I learned about neonatal resuscitation at the training I attended last month and we practiced with my resuscitation bag so that we all know how to do “positive pressure ventilation” and chest compressions on a newborn now. I know this might seem kind of over the top, but I find it very empowering to know how to do these things now—they always seemed “mysterious” and specialized before—and it doesn’t make me feel like I’m planning for a “worst case,” but that I’ve completely resolved any fear I had about things I wouldn’t know how to do for my own baby if I was giving birth alone! We’ve been talking about needing to do this since the end of Dec., so it felt very good to get everything all squared away in this manner.

Really the only things left I’d like to get done now before she is born are the belly cast and my blessingway and to crochet one more hat for her! (Of course, I have non-birth/non-baby things in abundance that I’d also like to get done—double checking the exam questions for my online class, finalizing the FoMM newsletter, submitting two articles, finalizing some the blog posts in my drafts folder, etc., etc., etc. , <sob>), but right now my mind is on the specifically getting-ready-for-baby to-dos and I’ve done ’em! Go, me!

10 thoughts on “Finishing Up!

  1. Yay! I do hope you get your belly cast supplies today so you can finish that up too and then only have your blessingway left! I’m so glad it was not uncomfortable to have the Midwife there, in your home, and that you were able to clearly state what you want/need from her. That’s really huge. šŸ™‚
    Almost there!!!

  2. Woohoo! I feel relief and a sense of accomplishment also. I’ve been reading loads of birth stories (love those stories in Simply Give Birth and stayed up half the night reading them). Also, I’m feeling honored to be the picture-taker, in light of ill-advised comments of the past (which I own, and were about the quality of my photography rather than the qualities of the subject!). This time, I will capture the power and beauty of your birthing self!!!

  3. My heart literally bumped against my ribs when I read your post, Molly. It’s as if I could see into your heart. I can’t explain it except to say I heard your voice as you ‘talked’.

    I wonder if you plan to have an extra person there to help with the boys? Participating in a birth is a wonderful but overwhelming thing for children. Will Tom be available for duty if the need arises to distract Z? You’ll certainly be too busy to focus on him and so will Mark and Barbara. Okay, enough of my advice.

    The only thing left to say is this: Molly, your strength, planning and thoughtfulness are so remarkable. I marvel at you on a regular basis but right now I’m truly in awe of you; I’m proud to know you. You’re so much younger than me but you’ve taught me a lot and I thank you.

    • Thank you very much, Mary Alice. I have a compulsion to write about everything and so it is good to know my “heart” shows in that process šŸ™‚

      Mom is actually on kid AND picture duty. If baby is born during the day, Tom will probably be involved with taking them away for entertainment. If it is at night, like I anticipate, Mom is the one.

  4. What a beautiful read. The getting ready and then being ready -things in order- is a wonderful feeling. It makes my stomach turn in a GOOD way. It’s butterflies that feel happy.

    Kids are so different once birth time comes. They know. They just do. They sense the power and are really intune. It’s so much magic for a baby to be born in the house he or she was made in. Never leaving…part of the family always. I just love it! I’m so excited! Nothing better than family.

  5. It sounds like you are getting really ready. Have fun with the belly mask! I am looking forward to reading your birth story in the next few weeks. šŸ™‚

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