Tuesday Tidbits: Precious and Fragile

Via Birthing Beautiful Ideas, wisdom from BBI sponsor, The Mindful Way through Pregnancy from Shambhala Publications:

A better photo of our matching mother-daughter necklaces made by Mark :)

A better photo of our matching mother-daughter necklaces made by Mark 🙂

“Ultimately, what makes pregnancy a spiritual practice is not what kind of pregnancy we have. It’s who we open to it, moment by moment, breath by breath. Pregnancy is not about escaping or transcending physical existence. It’s about embracing it, in all its grit and mess and blood and uncertainty and pain. Pregnancy pulls us straight to the heart of what it means to be alive. It reminds us we are part of a universe that is infinitely creative and breathtakingly beautiful but where, ultimately, most of what really matters is out of our personal control. It teaches us that life is both precious and fragile–and that our hearts are both bigger and more vulnerable than we could have imagined.” –Anne Cushman

And, in considering life’s precious fragility, we need also consider the preciousness of midwifery:

“Bickering with each other will lead to our demise. We need to move away from a culture of blame and shift our focus to working collaboratively in order to identify a range of care options. This is a vastly different model than one group of midwives exclaiming, ‘VBACs are safe, all midwives should do them!’ or ‘VBACs are unsafe, no midwives should do them!’ (This is the same rigidity that accounts for high c-section rates in hospital settings.) Could it be possible that midwives who feel safe doing VBACs should be doing them and those who do not, should not? What if we each excelled at particular things and referred women to other midwives when we felt unable to provide care for them? We all need to take responsibility for the overall heath of our industry by honoring the journey that others have made to get where they are and the roles they play in service to mothers and babies.” –Jodilyn Owen (in Midwifery Today, Spring 2012, p. 28)

Shared via ScoopIt:

Some articles about birth:

Writer looks for healthiest, happiest approach to childbirth – California Watch

Study finds widespread ‘criminalisation of pregnancy’ in US institutions

Ky. Voices: Doctors often push for risky births | Op-Ed | Kentucky.com

And, some articles about parenting:

In not very enjoyable parenting articles, I found myself annoyed by this piece…

The Attached Family » What To Do When You Crave a “Mommy Time-Out”

The basic message is, you don’t need a timeout! Just hunker down, spend MORE time and love ’em harder! You are bad for ever wanting a break! Breaks need not ever occur to you. Bad, bad! Attach MORE, more, MORE! The sanctimonious and holistic-er-than-thou tone is exactly why I eventually discontinued my API membership. I am a very crunchy, AP-type parent, but I find that there are certain voices of the “movement” that make me want to run away screaming and saying, no wonder some people HATE US!

In enjoyable parenting articles I very much liked these companion pieces from Dreaming Aloud:

Dreaming aloud: The Sacred Role of a Parent

Dreaming aloud: Finding Our Centres – Tried and Tested Techniques for Family Sanity

And, I also found some things to identify with in this article:

Please Don’t Help My Kids

I’m more likely to be irritated by what I call Maternal Failure Alert alarm-raisers, in which someone “helpfully” points out something your child did or is doing or is asking or is needing or is located, when you already know it very well and in some cases are choosing to ignore/not respond/let them do it/or wait a minute.

Over the weekend I updated my Handouts page also.

5 thoughts on “Tuesday Tidbits: Precious and Fragile

  1. Thank you for your comments on the “Mommy Time Out” article.

    I read it after a hard won week when my husband and I finally came to a good system for giving each other breaks without feeling guilty. (Our daughter is 15 months old.) I was so upset by the tone and content, especially the idea that if you start taking breaks, you’ll only want more and you’ll feel resentful. I made the mistake of reading the comments hoping to see someone crying foul. Nope, most people engaged in a weird competition of who needs fewer breaks.

    I’m attracted to AP both for the benefits for our daughter and the focus on “balance” in family life. This article goes far against that principle and is truly damaging to parents who are trying so hard to parent compassionately.

  2. “Maternal Failure Alert” is a pet peeve of mine as well. Especially when people may not understand the dynamic of our family- we are a sarcastic group and use humor when communicating. We all know what the acceptable limitations are, what is okay and what isn’t but when others comment about my kids “talking back” or being disrespectful when I know their kidding around (and in fact, bonding in a way that’s natural in our family) it irritates me- as if I’m not a good enough parent to handle things on my own! I try really hard to keep this in mind when I’m tempted to be “helpful” to other parents.

    • I always picture sound and lights flashing over my head when the MFA goes off! I should be clear–it is a specific type of delivery/”intervention” that does this for me, someone pointing out that my kid has climbed on a counter while my back was turned or is headed for the railroad tracks while I’m cutting up cheese is helpful and wanted and is a good part of being in a tribe, but if I’m *standing right there*, chances are good that I do, in fact, see that they’re eating a sucker or asking repeatedly for something I’ve already said no to…and I don’t really need third party notifications!

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