Birth as a Rite of Passage & ‘Digging Deeper’

Oct16

Childbirth is a powerful rite of passage. One of my favorite resources, The Pink Kit, has some great reflections on this rite of passage and the words we use to describe the powerful, indescribable act of giving birth:

Whatever the culture, when a woman surrenders to the process, accepts the intense sensations, works through each contraction, and digs deep within herself to achieve the end goal–giving birth–she is touched by the Unknown and Unknowable. Many traditional cultures send their young men into initiation rites where they, too, can learn to understand humbleness and achieve the self-control that women learn in childbirth.

All cultures believe that women become better and more generous through the process of giving birth. That is why some cultures use words such as ‘sacrifice,’ ‘suffering’ and ‘labour.’ These terms can seem overwhelming and to be avoided’ however, seen from a different viewpoint, childbirth helps us to become strong, resourceful and determined.

In a modern world, ‘getting through’ labour without numbing or dumbing the process can be a very powerful experience for a woman, and very challenging.

I like the concept of “digging deeper.” This how The Pink Kit explains it:

You might avoid the pain in labour by moving into a position which is comfortable for you (i.e. reduces the sensations), but it slows labour down and then you stay there for hours. Doing that will increase the likelihood of medical intervention because you will become tired, bored, or frightened, and labour doesn’t progress. Instead, consider remaining in positions that keep you open and the labour progressing, while using your skills to manage the sensations. This is ‘digging deeper’.

I have noticed an emphasis in other natural birth preparation books and explanations about finding positions that are “comfortable.” I very much like the concept of finding positions that help you feel “open”—these positions may certainly also comfortable (and that is great!), but if you remain mindful of “staying open,” it may lead you “dig deeper” and find positions that really help move the baby. In my classes, I encourage women to welcome labor “getting bigger” (not more “painful” or “difficult,” but make it “bigger” and be excited by that change!). I think this idea goes hand in hand with digging deeper.

Let labor begin on its own…

Oct9

One of my blog posts that gets the most hits and is a consistently searched for topic is one that I wrote called “how do I know I’m really in labor?” I revised it recently for participation in a blog carnival at Science and Sensibility about letting labor begin on its own. Let Labor Begin on Its Own is the first of Lamaze’s Six Healthy Birth Practices. Why is letting labor begin on its own so important? Well, the onset of labor is a complex biological system that has its own wisdom–when a woman’s body is pushed into labor on someone else’s timetable rather than her own, the whole biochemical “dance” of labor and birth is impacted. What may seem like a harmless “jump start,” actually has a cascading effect on the rest of the birth (and has an impact on the baby as well). A significant impact is that induced labors are often much more painful than spontaneous labors. If a woman is planning an unmedicated birth, the increased intensity of artificial induced contractions coupled with the lack of the biologically trigged endorphin release that helps birthing women naturally cope with pain, often leads directly into a request for medications. The woman is then sometimes left feeling like she “failed” in her “natural birth” plans and that she “wimped out” and “just couldn’t handle it.” However, she was dealing with something much different than a “natural” labor and so it makes sense that a “natural” birth then didn’t happen. Of course, the cascade of other interventions that accompany an induction, such as an IV and continuous monitoring also severely restrict a woman’s mobility (which also has a dramatic impact on her ability to cope).

I am saddened when I hear women blaming themselves for “not being able to handle it” (or, conversely being angry at “natural birth zealots” for misleading them…), when they were actually just missing significant pieces of their “pain coping pie” as well as dealing with a (probably) more difficult labor. We need to remember to look at the overall healthy birth climate of the birth setting and the use of the six healthy birth practices, rather than at personal “failure.”

There are a lot of excellent links on letting labor begin on its own in the rest of the blog carnival!

More Birth Quotes

Oct5

Reposting some of the quotes I’ve recently shared via my Facebook page…I’m surprised by how many hits my blog gets for people looking for “birth quotes.” I think as long as I bother typing them into Facebook, I might as well then copy them here for those people searching for birth quotes to find! (Here is a link to a previous post with more birth quotes.)

“For far too many women pregnancy and birth is something that happens to them rather than something they set out consciously and joyfully to do themselves.” –Sheila Kitzinger

“Labor is all about finding your threshold and learning you can go beyond it.” –Father quoted in the book Fathers at Birth

“Wise women mean a spicier, more interesting world, not guided simply by linear reasoning and accomplishment, but by intuition, internal self-agreement and fiece creative love.” –Sareanda Lourdes

“Giving birth and being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.” –Harriette Hartigan

“I believe in the power of accurate information to help women make the wisest choices for themselves.” – Judy Norsigian

“Humanity cannot invent a drug that can work better than a mother’s body can manufacture or a knife that is sharper than her instinctual nature.” –Patrick Houser

“It has been said that if each of us went out into the world tomorrow and shared our love with two people, ‘such that they got it, and they in turn went out the next day and shared it with two more…following that progression, in less than… 33 days we would reach the entire planet.’ Thirty-three days. It begins at the beginning. At birth. A peaceful birth, where there are no hunters and no game.” –Nancy Wainer

“Let parents know that they don’t need special techniques and gadgets to give birth safely and happily. Make sure to communicate to every mother you help, that she has all the essential ingredients for a safe, healthy birth within herself. …A womb, a baby, a vagina, and a few warm pieces of fabric make an excellent, complete birth kit.” –Laura Morgan

“Women’s bodies have their own wisdom, and a system of birth refined over 100,000 generations is not so easily overpowered.” –Sarah Buckley

How do I know I’m really in labor?

Sep28

When I was in early labor with my first son, I spent quite some time upstairs in our computer room googling, “how to know you’re really in labor” or, “signs of true labor,” or “the difference between false labor and real labor,” or, “how do I know I’m in labor,” or, “how to know I’m in labor.” I would do this between contractions and then when I had a contraction I would think, “Wow! This is definitely it!” Then, it would ease, and I’d start googling again, certain I must just really be experiencing “false labor.” One of my biggest fears was arriving at the birth center and only being two centimeters dilated (or possibly not in labor at all!). So, in honor of my former self, I offer a list of some ways to to gauge whether you are experiencing true labor.

It is true labor if/when:

Your contractions fall into a regular pattern. And, that pattern involves contractions that are lasting longer, feeling stronger, and occurring closer together.
If when you walk around or otherwise increase your activity, the contractions also increase.
And if changing positions and drinking plenty of fluids also do not cause the contractions to ease…
The sensation begins in your lower back and spreads like a band around your belly causing a peak of tightness and discomfort in the front and then fades away again.
You have been feeling some gastrointestinal upset and may be experiencing diarrhea also.
You have pinkish or blood streaked, mucousy discharge.
Your membranes have ruptured (keep in mind that labor only begins in this way for roughly 10% of women. So, if your waters have not released, do not be discouraged thinking that you must not be in “real labor.” Many women do not experience their waters breaking until they are pushing or are starting to feel like pushing).
Truly, I think that the best sign that you are in labor is if you really feel like you are in labor. This is one of those things that doesn’t feel that helpful to a first-time mom—“yes, but how will I know?! What if I’m in labor and don’t know it until the baby is coming out?!” I promise that for the wide majority of you, at a certain point, you will just know that you are in labor and there will be no more questions about whether this is “really it”—that is the best sign, when you stop wondering “is this really it?” My observation is that this point comes along when you enter active labor and enter your “birth brain” instead of your analytical, logical brain.

Is this really it?

If you are still wondering, “is this really it?” my best piece of advice is to ignore it! Pretend like nothing is happening. Go about your normal day and your normal routine. If you would normally be sleeping, sleep. If you would normally be eating, eat. Go for a walk, water the plants, feed the dog, bake something, go to the store, etc. When your contractions need your full attention, they will ask for it 🙂

Symptoms of pre-labor (“false labor”)

Some “symptoms” that what you are experiencing is instead practice labor, pre-labor, or “false labor” (I do not usually use the phrase “false labor” because I think it is dismissive of women’s experiences. All contractions are doing something and so I refer to them as “practice” rather than “false.” Another good phrase to use is “pre-labor” contractions. My midwife with my second baby referred to them as “toning contractions”):

The contractions are irregular (no pattern) and are not increasing in frequency or intensity.
If you change positions or drink two large glasses of juice, water, or tea, the contractions subside.
The contractions center in your lower abdomen and do not involve your back.
The contractions go away if you take a walk, take a shower, or lie down.

This is also a popular question in birth classes. Because labor is a new event for you, it can be hard to know what to expect until it actually happens! There is pdf handout here with some additional signs and information. There is also a helpful handout with a sort of flowchart of signs/symptoms here.

Oh, and by the way, when I did finally go to the birth center, I was 10 centimeters dilated and started pushing about 30 minutes later!

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What about induction?!

On a closely related topic, why bother with all this guessing about whether or not you’re in labor? Why not be induced instead? Good questions! There are numerous reasons why you should let labor begin on it’s own—labor that begins on its own is usually safer and healthier for both mother and baby. Also, it is less painful than a labor that is induced with medications such as Pitocin. For more information about letting labor begin on its own, check out Lamaze’s Healthy Birth Practice #1, or this video clip from Mother’s Advocate:

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Quick Births

Sep19

I recently finished reading the book Permission to Mother by Denise Punger (you can read my full review in an upcoming issue of the CAPPA Quarterly). In one of the Appendices of the book, she addresses “Herbal Inductions–Are They Safe?” Her response is “no” and she adds “A homebirth does not equal a ‘natural birth’ if Blue and Black Cohosh are used to induce.” She opens the section by referencing her third labor which was over 12 hours and gave her “time to emotionally adjust to the escalating physical demands and surprise of my labor” and then goes on to say, “Over and over…I am hearing about intense labors that occur in two hours or less! Women often express delight about their miraculously quick labors (as if a quick labor were the goal). But I don’t sense any emotional, physical, or spiritual satisfaction accompanying these seemingly precipitous deliveries.” She also shares that a commonality in these stories is the use of herbals to induce or augment labor.

This section caught my eye, because I had a very quick birth with my second baby. I also was intrigued by the presumptiveness of dismissing a quick birth as not emotionally, physically, or spiritually satisfying—it seems like someone who is seeing through their own “lens” of 12+ hour labors and can’t imagine another type of timeline for birth. For the past several days I’ve been pondering this issue and considering my own experiences. I also did a variety of google searches looking for information about “emotional impact” of “fast labor” or “precipitous birth.” I turned up surprisingly little information—there was one article that popped up several times titled “The experience of precipitate labor” in the journal Birth. However, I was not able to access the full text of the article to read what it actually says. The results were described as: “The experience of precipitate labor was categorized in terms of physical experience (perception of labor length and contractions), psychological experience (relationship of how women perceived birth to their prenatal expectations, and emotional trajectory of disbelief, alarm, panic, and relief), and external factors (support persons and hospital system).”

My searches also turned up personal birth stories, excerpts from nursing textbooks or emergency medicine texts about handling precipitous birth, and message board discussion threads. The most commonly shared pieces of information about rapid labors is that they can be physically shocking and can be difficult to “catch up with” emotionally, as well as stressful because the mothers often are thinking, “if this is early labor, how I can possibly handle another 12 hours?!” They also reference increased change of hemorrhage. I did not see the questions raised by the Permission to Mother segment directly addressed anywhere. So, I want to know–if you experienced a quick birth what physical, emotional, and spiritual satisfaction did you experience, if any? What about external factors? (support persons, birth environment.) How about your psychological experience and “emotional trajectory”?

My own experiences are as follows:

Second baby, total labor two hours. Forty weeks pregnant. No herbal induction methods used. About 45 minutes were “serious labor.” It was very intense and I’ve said several times before that it felt a bit like a train rushing past and that I had run to catch up with it (emotionally and mentally).

Physical Satisfaction:

I was extremely proud of my body and its super-awesomeness 🙂 I felt that my sense of birth trust was physically manifested in my actual birth experience. My body was a powerful and unstoppable force and I had to get out of my own way and let it happen! I felt driven to my hands and knees–like a power was holding me there. After the birth my body felt weak and “run over by a truck”—I felt powerful and like a warrior during the birth, but afterward it was a physical “crash” of sorts. I did not have excessive bleeding, but I did almost faint several times after getting up (hindsight says, why didn’t I just stay down a while longer?!). I experienced labial tearing (no perineal tearing) and a lot of swelling as well as bruising, that I surmise was a direct result of my son’s rapid birth.

Emotional Satisfaction:

The birth was very emotionally satisfying. I did feel as if I never made it to “labor land” though–that hazy, dreamy, unreal state that I associate with my first son’s birth (and longer labor). I did not feel scared or overwhelmed or out of control as such (I did consciously let go of control—I think these are two different things) . I felt proud of myself. I felt amazed. I felt phenomenal. I felt ecstatic. I felt powerful. I felt empowered. I felt triumphant. I was pleased with how I’d verbally coached myself through labor—telling myself “it’s okay, you’re okay” and “be a clear, open channel for birth” and “relax your legs.” I felt excited and enjoyed the “drama” of already holding my baby after only a short while before thinking, “maybe I’m in labor.” It felt like a wonderful, fulfilling adventure. I didn’t feel like a “victim,” but I did feel like something “happened to me”–as I said, I had to just get out of my own way and let the power roll through me. Later, I felt emotionally upset about the tears and the bruising. This felt like my piece of “failure,” because I had hoped and planned not to tear again.

Spiritual Satisfaction:

This is related to the above for me. I felt like a force of nature–like I was one with the powers of the universe. I was happy with my ability to get out of my head and “be in the now” with the energy of birth. My son’s birth was the most powerful and transformative experience of my life. I think that counts as sprititual satisfaction 🙂

External Factors:

I gave birth at home. If I hadn’t planned a homebirth, I think there would have been more stress and fear involved with trying to get to the hospital (and possibly a car birth, as we live 30 minutes from the hospital). My husband was very physically there with me–holding and supporting me–I felt like we were one person. My mother was present towards the end and held my older son. They felt overwhelmed and surprised by the intensity, but they got out of my way and let me birth! My midwife was present for 5 minutes–enough time to catch the baby. She was calm and a gentle presence. She was very physically supportive postpartum. No one tried to influence or control what I was doing, where I was, or how I was laboring and giving birth. I had complete freedom and control over my environment.

Emotional Trajectory:

I went from excitement—“I hope this is really it!”—to, “Oh my goodness, we don’t have time to fill up the birth pool—just get me my birth shirt, my blessingway bracelet, and my ponytail holder!” and wading deeply in to the rushing waves of energy. The experience became completely encompassing–I was no longer in my left-brain, but was instead holding on to the train and catching up. I did not feel panicked or alarmed and I did not feel relieved when it was over, I felt amazed and happy and blissful and powerful.

Beautiful Homebirth Slideshow

Sep8

Today I was sent a link to a lovely homebirth slideshow (scroll down through the photos and story to get to the slideshow link—-the story is worth reading too. It has some good observations about why birth matters: “If you have scene the movie The Business of Being Born there is a seen where one of the OBs being interviewed states in so many words that the process of birth is unimportant that it’s the outcome that is important – a healthy baby and a healthy mom. And while he is correct that a healthy baby and a healthy mom are always the most important end result he is dead wrong about the process. The process matters – -immensely. Physically the birth process is extremely important for the long term health of the mother and the baby, emotionally and psychologically the birth process will affect a woman for the rest of her life.” Can I just say, Amen!)

I absolutely love the joyful expressions on the mother’s face immediately after birth. So beautiful! Plus, it brings that feeling from my own births back to me. On Labor Day, CAPPA posed the question:

“Happy ‘LABOR’ day from CAPPA. What I loved about labor was________________!”
My response was: The feeling of personal power at the end—the “I climbed my mountain,” I DID IT feeling. And that moment of ecstasy of holding my new baby and saying, “my baby, my baby, oh my baby” over and over 🙂 Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it!

Watching the slideshow above, also brought the memory of that same “my baby, my baby” rapture back to me.

Awakening Your Birth Power

Sep2

“If you have heard enough birth ‘war stories,’ advice, and medical information…

If you are beginning to doubt yourself and to feel confused and worried about giving birth…

It is time to focus on something simple, positive and inspirational.

It is time to come back to center and listen to your own inner wisdom.

It is time to Awaken your Birth Power.”

I recently received a copy of the book and CD set 25 Ways to Awaken Your Birth Power, by Danette Watson and Stephanie Corkhill Hyles. The book is a collection of 25 short breathing meditations each accompanied by a beautiful (and sort of whimsical) drawing. The enclosed CD has 3 tracks–the first is called “awaken your birth power for pregnancy” and consists of the relevant meditations from the book read aloud. The woman reading has a pleasant, soothing voice with a slight Australian (?) accent. The second track on the CD is “awaken your birth power for labour and birth” and consists of 48 minutes of the relevant meditations from the book read aloud. The third track is an abbreviated almost 8-minute guided meditation. This CD would be perfect to listen to while in labor. The book and its gentle illustrations is a nurturing, confidence-inspiring, birth-power-enhancing, reflective, time-out for use during pregnancy or birth.

Reading it got me thinking about ways in which women awaken their birth power during pregnancy? How did you awaken yours? I’d love to hear about it and to write more about this topic!

I reflected on the ways in which I awakened my own birth power and my sense of confidence in my own inner wisdom. Here are the ways that I came up with when considering my own pregnancies and births:

+I read like a maniac 🙂 During my second pregnancy, I read a lot of literature about unassisted birth–though I didn’t have an unassisted birth (my midwife was there for 5 minutes of my son’s birth), I found the philosophies of unassisted birthers to be very inspiring.

+I maintained a daily yoga practice that included affirmations about my ability to give birth.

+I had specific dreams that reinforced my confidence.

+I journaled daily.

+I created birth art–needle felted birth goddess sculptures during my first pregnancy. Later, I drew womb labyrinth drawings–the labyrinth is a powerful metaphor for birth and I really connect with it. There are pictures of both of these on a very neglected other blog of mine.

+I talked extensively with my very birth positive friends–no horror stories from them!

+I formed my personal philosophy about birth and its role as a sacred rite of passage.

+My mother had a blessing way ceremony for me (with both my pregnancies) that made feel special and also confident and secure.

+The materials and philosophy on the Trust Birth website. I love their “what we believe” statement. It gives me chills!

+The book Birthing from Within–one of my all-time favorite birth books and a great birth power resource.

Nothing really worried me about my second birth or my ability to do so. I feel like I had a deep and true and physical sense of confidence and trust in birth. During my second pregnancy, it became a *knowing* for me that I was a capable birth giver. I had complete trust in my body and my baby. With my first pregnancy, I remembering feeling like I was studying for the biggest test of my life–I did not yet have the deep and true sense that developed during my second pregnancy (actually, I think developed as I read voraciously during the interim between my pregnancies). I also earned my certification as a childbirth educator during the interim between births and that also increased my confidence.

I attended a performance of Birth, the play, in St. Louis last weekend. While there, I picked up one of ICAN‘s flyers called “ICAN Birth” (sponsored by Hypnobabies). I think the flyer is an excellent resource for awakening your birth power, particularly the back panel with a list of things that, “if you were my sister, I’d tell you…” I’m going to order a bunch to give away in my class packets.

How do you awaken your birth power?

Word Associations

Aug26

If you could choose only one word to describe the type of birth experience you want, what would it be?

Something might come immediately to you mind, or perhaps you need some ideas…

Some possibilities:

gentle

fast

loving

relaxing

long

adventurous

exciting

emotional

charged

transformative

active

beautiful

orgasmic

at home

homebirth-like

natural

vaginal

surgical

harmonious

intense

empowering

amazing

medically managed

with drugs

serene

safe

pain free

comfortable

controlled

drug free

joyful

intimate

I don’t care, just get the baby out

triumphant

calm

free

family centered

——

After you pick your word, then consider what your answer might be if you eliminated the following ideas from your consideration: fear of birth, fear of pain, fear of the unknown, fear of wasting people’s time, fear of medical procedures, fear of failure, fear of dying, fear of disappointing someone, fear of the baby dying, fear of annoying your medical care providers., or any of a variety of possible fears. After you’ve cleared out these “cobwebs” is your one word different? Would you ask for/expect something different once you’ve removed fear? Or, is your one word still the same?

My one word is “powerful.” I’m not sure what I would have chosen before having children–perhaps “beautiful” or “joyful.” If I had to describe each of my sons’ births in only one word I would choose “empowering” for the first birth and “intense” for the second, and “transformative” for both. For the mothers reading this who have already given birth, what one word would you choose to describe that birth?

Source: Modified from a Teaching Tip from Lamaze

Cut here?? What not to say to pregnant or laboring women…

Aug21

The Rebirth blog is having a “blog carnival” with “what what not to say to a pregnant or laboring woman” as the theme. When I read the theme, two personal occurrences immediately sprang to mind:

After my Blessingway ceremony with my first baby, all the guests got into the pool (it was August). I changed out of my Blessingway finery and came out in my cute little two piece bathing suit with my big, pregnant belly leading the way. One of the Blessingway attendees looked at me and at the brown “linea nigra” line on my belly and said, “What’s that line mean? Cut here!” and laughed. I was appalled! And at my Blessingway too! I will never forget how it felt to hear something like that on my special day.

Less bothersome, but something that undermined my confidence in following my instincts was when I was laboring with my first son. I said I felt ready to go in to the birth center, but my doula suggested I take a shower first (and relax). When I went in to the bathroom to do so, I heard her say to my mom and husband outside the door, “first time moms always think they need to go in too soon.” I am a people-pleaser and it took a lot for me to come back out of the bathroom (without taking a shower) and say, “no, I want to go to the birth center now.” We went (and I was 10 centimeters dilated when we got there). I felt like I had super-amplified hearing during labor and heard everything that people said even though they thought I didn’t (eyes closed, very inwardly focused). This was one example of several similar occurrences during my first birthing.

I also thought of an experience of one of my birth class clients. As she was pushing and the baby’s head was crowning, her doctor said “I wouldn’t rule out a c-section just yet…”

One of the reasons that I actually called this blog “Talk Birth” is because I have a special interest in the language of birth and the impact of the lexicon of birth on pregnant and birthing women.

The experiences above and the theme in general reminded me of a quote I really liked from an article I read recently:

“Since beliefs affect physiologic functions, how women and men discuss the process of pregnancy and birth can have a negative or positive effect on the women that are involved in the discussion. Our words are powerful and either reinforce or undermine the power of women and their bodies.”–Debra Bingham

Birth Quotes

Jul29

I’ve been periodically posting various birth quotes to my Talk Birth Facebook page. Then, I realized I should also be collecting them into a post where they will last a little longer and be enjoyed by more people! I think I will just keep updating this post as I add quotes, but I may make multiple shorter posts or otherwise sub-categorize them to make them easier to follow.

“…labor is not about dilation. Your body knows how to give birth whether or not you ever have a pelvic exam during labor. Birthing women need encouragement to trust their bodies, and to be the stars of their own labors…”

The Doula Guide to Birth

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“The empowerment of laboring women, not the management of childbirth by means of painkillers, leads to satisfactory birth experiences.”

Research conclusion by Belgian scientists in 2007

I received a comment on this quote that is very true: “Satisfactory is the wrong word. Spiritual, beautiful, peaceful, wonderful, mind blowing, amazing, phenomenal…. any of those would be better!” My response is Absolutely! I would say powerful, transformative, beautiful, and empowering 🙂

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“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.”

Everyday Blessings

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“The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power.”

Heather McCue

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“You will find it incredible that labor gets stronger and stronger–and you do, too.”

The Doula Guide to Birth

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“You do not have to be a particularly strong or brave or relaxed woman to get through labor. You just need to be a woman.”

The Big Book of Birth

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“It is not ‘ladylike’ to give birth. The strength and power of labor is not demure.”

An Easier Childbirth (quoting a midwife)

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“Women are strong, strong, terribly strong. We don’t know how strong until we’re pushing out our babies.”

Louise Erdrich, The Blue Jay’s Dance

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“Women around the world and throughout time have known how to take care of each other in birth. They’ve shown each other the best positions for comfort in labor, they’ve used nurturing touch and repeated soothing words, and they’ve literally held each other up when it’s needed the most…”

The Doula Guide to Birth

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“Education for birth consists not, as some would have it, of ‘conditioning,’ but aims at giving a woman the means by which she can express her own personality creatively in childbirth.”

Sheila Kitzinger

—

“A self-determined birth is a potent symbol of womanly power, of human courage, of loving compassion, even of ecological holism. It may look like childbirth educators are just showing charts and teaching relaxation, but we are also helping to create a gentle atmosphere in which personal and cultural transformation can take place.”

ALACE CBE Manual