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Book Review: The Joy of Pregnancy

Book Review: The Joy of Pregnancy: The Complete, Candid, and Reassuring Companion for Parents-to-Be
By Tori Kropp, RN
Harvard Common Press, 2008
ISBN 978-155832306-3
412 pages, paperback, $14.95
http://www.thejoyofpregnancy.com/

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

“One of the most important things I have learned about birthing babies is that the process is more of an unfolding marvel than a routine progression of events.” –Tori Kropp

Written by a nurse in a refreshingly positive tone, The Joy of Pregnancy is a basic guide to pregnancy and birth, intended primarily for first time parents. Not only does it cover month-by-month fetal and maternal developments during pregnancy, it includes information about labor and birth, preparing for postpartum, breastfeeding, and the first days of parenting. There is a conventional emphasis on “asking your care provider” rather than a consumer-oriented approach to making your own best decisions. Something unique and valuable about the book is that each section contains information specifically for women expecting twins or other multiples. This content is inset into boxes, but it is the first pregnancy book I’ve read where information for mothers of multiples is integrated into the main body of the text, rather than being relegated to special section or chapter. Specific “Dad’s Corner” sections in most chapters are another nicely integrated feature of the book.

Overall, the information contained in the Joy of Pregnancy is fairly conservative and standard, though as I noted, presented primarily in a positive and upbeat way rather than a fear or complication based way. Doulas, postpartum doulas, and midwives all receive casual mention and are presented as “normal,” rather than “fringe” options. Birth centers and homebirths are briefly included in the section on choosing a birth setting. Parents who are looking for a complete guide to pregnancy that reassures and comforts, rather than produces self-doubt, will find The Joy of Pregnancy a nice alternative. The book is also currently available as a free ebook via http://www.thejoyofpregnancy.com/free/, which is a great bonus!

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

More About Self-Care

I recently shared a little about my desire to step up my self-care/self-nurturing at this point in my life and some time ago I shared a guest post from Renée Trudeau about balanced living and saying no (I need to re-read this!). I greatly enjoy Renée’s free monthly self-care teleclasses based on her book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal–-somehow, they always contain exactly what it is I need to hear at that moment. Anyway, I’m pleased to have another guest post to share from Renée today.

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Self-Care: My Best Friend

by Renée Trudeau

Recently, I spoke to a wonderful group of about fifty women in their 30s-50s from the National Charity League about the Power of Self-Care. It’s a really cool group of mothers and daughters who work together to support their communities through various social service projects.

When I asked how many women in the room were familiar with the concept of self-care (read more from my newsletter on this topic), only one woman raised her hand.

As much as I want to believe that this concept—which has been popularized by self-care advocates Jennifer Louden, and Cheryl Richardson in the 80s and 90s—has become mainstream, I was reminded that we still have a long way to go before people believe that it’s not only our birthright to nurture and nourish ourselves, it’s our responsibility to do so.

When I was first introduced to the concept of self-care: taking time to fill my cup first, before helping others, it seemed strange and foreign. Almost like something else to put on my “to do” list. But as I started to slow down and practice more self-acceptance, release a lot of my controlling behavior and perfectionism, begin to really listen to my body and spirit and enjoy spending time with my sweet self, my life began to change radically.

I felt like I had come home. Like this was *really* the way we are supposed to live.

I now realize that being open to and ultimately, embracing self-care was the single biggest thing I have ever done to positively and profoundly change my life.

And the journey keeps shifting and changing. You don’t “get it” and you’re done. It keeps evolving and unfolding. And the more you love and accept yourself, the more in touch with your physical/emotional/spiritual needs you become.

I often have moments in my life when I pause and realize how drastically different my days are now than they were ten years ago (before self-care).

I used to push myself really hard. I used to barrel through to-do lists (I was a master at efficiency and took pride at how much I used to be able to get done—anyone relate?). I was way too focused on “doing” and not very focused on “being.”

The other day, I had a challenging day emotionally and a lot on my plate. Realizing this, I went to a noon yoga class instead of an intense early morning weights class. I made sure I ate foods that made me feel great. I let some things go, so I could take a short rest before my speaking engagement last night. And, since I didn’t have much time to prepare before this event, I allowed myself to deliver a ‘good is good enough” speech, knowing that there wouldn’t be much time to prepare for the talk (which by the way, received rave reviews).

During stressful times—like the current economic crisis our nation is experiencing—it’s more important than ever to take time to nurture ourselves. (Read my latest Career Management Newsletter on tips on navigating your career/life during uncertain times.)

I received two calls from national companies recently to speak to their employees about balance/self-renewal.
I think we’re all starting to get that when our environment and things around us get really crazy, we have nowhere else to go, but within.

Baby steps. I’ve been working on my self-care practice for 9 years. And, I still have a long way to go.

BIO:
Renée Peterson Trudeau is a nationally-recognized life balance expert/coach. Trudeau’s work has been featured in US News and World Report, Working Mother, American Way, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping and numerous business publications and consumer media. Trudeau is the author of the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Thousands of women around the U.S./Canada are starting and joining Personal Renewal Groups based on the Guide, as a way to enhance balance and well-being in their lives.  Learn about her next free Live Inside Out teleclass or her upcoming self-renewal retreats at www.ReneeTrudeau.com/calendar.

Book Review: Optimal Birth: What, Why & How

Book Review: Optimal Birth: What, Why & How
By Sylvie Donna
Fresh Heart, 2010
ISBN 9781906619138
670 pages, paperback, £24.99
http://www.freshheartpublishing.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

Written in an energetic and confident tone, Optimal Birth is written for midwives and other birth care providers and emphasizes undisturbed, natural birth. Throughout the text, a unique “birthframe” format is used to share birth wisdom in women’s own words. Donna is heavily influenced by the work of Michel Odent (he attended several of her births) and references him frequently. The author writes in a very straightforward manner and has extremely strong opinions as to what constitutes “undisturbed birth,” but these opinions are backed up with ample evidence-based information. The exquisite sensitivity of a birthing woman to her environment is of primary importance in the book and caregivers are strongly urged to take an extremely hands-off approach to care.

A lengthy volume, Optimal Birth is difficult to describe adequately in summary form—it contains extensive sections about physiological birth, birth interventions, the emotional impact of women’s experiences, prenatal care, and postpartum care. It also includes a week-by-week guide to pregnancy. There are a large number of black and white pictures and each section of the book contains a series of insightful questions designed to provoke self-discovery about physiological birth and the appropriate care of birthing women.

Readers unaccustomed to the midwives model of care or to the principles of undisturbed, physiological birth may find the book’s emphasis on non-intervention heavy-handed or one-sided. Considering that many manuals for care providers focus extensively on labor and birth “management,” personally I find the non-disturbance approach advised by Optimal Birth to be inspirational and encouraging as well as appropriate. As the author notes, “the processes of birth are so delicate that many things can disturb a laboring woman and consequently make her labor slower and more dangerous.”

An encouraging and informative companion book containing much of the same information but from a consumer perspective titled Preparing for a Healthy Birth is also available.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Secrets of Confident Childbirth

Book Review: Secrets of Confident Childbirth
By Vanessa Turner, Jackie Fletcher, Janay Alexander
HotHive Books, 2009
ISBN 978-1-906316-34-1
160 pages, paperback, £24.99
http://www.thebirthspecialists.com/book.html

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

“Your body is a complex work of art that functions perfectly” –The Birth Specialists

In an era when much pregnancy and birth literature seems to written in a “climate of doubt,” books like Secrets of Confident Childbirth offer a welcome and affirming alternate perspective—that of celebration and anticipation.

Accented with many beautiful, artistic photos of pregnant women, babies, and couples, Secrets of Confident Childbirth was written by a team of childbirth educators–“The Birth Specialists”–in the UK.  The book emphasizes mind-body preparation for birth, with a special emphasis on hypnosis for childbirth as well as other methods of using the mind in a positive way to achieve healthy birth outcomes. The book includes information about the benefits of natural childbirth, prenatal bonding with your baby, the powerful impact of words and language on the birth experience, the role of hormones and the impact of fear, visualization, relaxation, pain management, labor positions, massage, and more. It also includes a brief section on birth planning and evidence-based care.

I do have a slight concern that the emphasis on “focus on what you want and you will achieve it” can possibly lead to self-blame or to “blaming the victim” if a woman’s birth does not work out the way she hopes and dreams.  My observation about approaching birth with only “positive thinking” is that it can discount or undervalue the very critical role that the birth environment and the attitudes and fears of the others within that environment can have on the birthing woman’s experience and outcome. That said,  I truly love the confident approach, affirming language, and positive attitude towards pregnancy and birth expressed in Secrets of Confident Childbirth. This book is a tremendous gift to the birth world!

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Guest Book Review: The First 8 Days of Being a Mom

The First 8 Days of Being a Mom

By Gea Meijering

iCare Press, 2008/2009

Softcover, 77 pages, $14.95

ISBN: 978-0-692-00009-0

http://www.thefirst8days.com/

Reviewed by Summer Thorp-Lancaster, http://peacefulbeginnings.wordpress.com

The First 8 Days of Being a Mom is an English language translation of a manual given to new moms in the Netherlands, the Kraamwijzer.

For many moms, the initial magic of new baby is quickly overshadowed by the realization that this tiny person is entirely dependent upon them for everything.  This is can be especially true for women who give birth in the hospital, where the sense of being totally alone and responsible hits hard upon returning home.

This book is intended to help moms know what to expect in those first chaotic days after baby’s arrival.  It includes space for journaling/record keeping each day.  At only 77 pages, it is an easy carry along for those birthing in the hospital.

I liked the inclusion of midwives (they are the main care provider for pregnant women in the Netherlands) doulas and home births, which are still scarce in “mainstream” publications here. The author has carefully mentioned both vaginal and cesarean births, which makes this book appropriate for anyone.  It concisely and clearly covers such basics as bathing and feeding, including both breast and bottle, with pictures to help further understanding.  There is also a strong emphasis on asking for help when needed, which is essential in the first few weeks and months.

Some of the downfalls of the book include the choppiness that comes from translated texts, no bed sharing information and somewhat inaccurate sleeping information, as well as a strong reliance on “call the professional” instead of self-knowledge.  I found this last bit extremely difficult to swallow as I feel it is important for new mothers to trust their knowledge as primary with a “professional” as the secondary opinion.  In my opinion, no one knows baby better than mama (except maybe daddy!).

Overall, this book would make a nice quick-reference guide for first time moms or refresher for veteran moms.  The inclusion of the journaling pages moves it into keepsake material, which balances out the somewhat hefty $20 price tag. [editor’s note: special price currently on website is $14.95]

Disclosure: a complimentary copy of this book was received for review purposes.

Fathers, Fear, and Birth

“I told my dads that they were their partner’s lover and that their most important role at the birth was one they did everyday without classes, books or practice: Loving the mom. You could literally see the dads relax as this thought sunk in and took root.”

~ Lois Wilson, CPM

My husband supports me during my birthing time with our second baby

I don’t use these exact words, but I share something similar with the dads in my classes—your most important job is just to love her the way you love her, not to try to be anything different or more “special” than you already are…

I recently shared my review of The Father’s Home Birth Handbook by Leah Hazard and also wanted to share this excerpt from an article in Midwifery Today:

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Helping Men Enjoy the Birth Experience, by Leah Hazard

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Nearly 70 years ago, Grantly Dick-Read wrote in Childbirth without Fear that laboring women often experience a cycle of: Fear > Tension > Pain. This is a cycle with which many of us are familiar, and we’ve developed a myriad of ways to break the cycle since Dick-Read first published his seminal work in 1942. However, less attention has been focused on the emotional roller-coaster fathers experience throughout pregnancy and birth, and it’s this area that I’d like to explore in greater depth.

Although a man cannot feel the same pain as a laboring woman, I believe that many men experience a similar cycle of emotions in the birthing space to that which Dick-Read described, with a slightly different end product, namely: Fear > Tension > Panic. A man who is not confident in his partner’s birthing abilities, who is poorly informed, and/or who is poorly supported, becomes increasingly tense; and if this tension is not eased, then he spirals into an irreversible state of panic. This panic manifests differently in different men: some men become paralyzed by their fear (the familiar specter of the terrified dad sitting stock-still at the foot of the bed), while others spring into hyperactivity, bringing endless cups of water or becoming obsessively concerned with the temperature of the birth pool.

The root of this panic is fear, and it’s a fear which often begins to grow long before the first contraction is felt. As such, we need to think about ways that we can address and minimize this fear in the days and months preceding birth…

[Please read the rest of this article excerpt in the full online version of E-News: http://www.midwiferytoday.com/enews/enews1221.asp ]

Excerpted from “Beyond Fear, Tension and Panic: Helping Men Enjoy the Birth Experience,” Midwifery Today, Issue 95 Author Leah Hazard is the author of The Father’s Home Birth Handbook. For more information, visit www.homebirthbook.com .

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I really think the fear-tension-panic cycle makes a great deal of sense and it brought me to this quote:

“Fear is completely intertwined with what we experience as labor pain…And it is the fear in our physicians and nurses as much as the fear within ourselves.” –Suzanne Arms (Immaculate Deception II)

I think sometimes women underestimate the power the attitudes of other people in the birthplace hold over outcome (the nocebo effect, possibly)—while being prepared, confident, fearless, etc. as a birthing woman is excellent and she can sometimes manage to triumph over the fear of the others around her, I more often see the fear of others overriding the preparation and confidence a mother has tried to develop in herself. I think it is important that we actively cultivate coping skills and resources within fathers-to-be as well, so that they are less likely to get into the fear-tension-panic cycle and are better able to be present for the birthing woman (fear-tension-panic within doctors and nurses is a subject for another post!). Here are some other posts I’ve written specifically for fathers:

Ideas for supporting your partner in labor

No Right Way

Resources for Fathers to Be

Birth Affirmations for Fathers

For Labor Support Remember TLC or BLT

Comfort Measures & Labor Support Strategies

Helping yourself while helping your wife or partner in labor

(P.S. Yesterday this was a much more developed post and WordPress erased it accidentally and to my great dismay 😦 )

Book Review: The Father’s Home Birth Handbook

I came to my attention today that I have never posted this book review! (also, as I prepared to “tag” this post, I realized that I don’t have a tag set up for “homebirth.” Can this really be true??!!)

The Father’s Home Birth Handbook

By Leah Hazard
Victoria Park Press, 2008
Softcover, 208 pages
ISBN: 978-0-9560711-0-1
www.homebirthbook.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE

The Father’s Home Birth Handbook is a succinct and easy to read little guide for fathers and adds to the growing library of birth resources specifically geared towards fathers-to-be. The book is written by a woman, but contains ample quotes from fathers which lend a male perspective. It also includes a number of good birth stories interspersed throughout, which were all written by men.

The target audience for the handbook is easily summed up in the prologue: “…I’ve met far more men who have responded to their partners’ home birth wishes with a mixture of shock, cynicism, and fear…Far from being domineering ogres who just want to see wifey tucked ‘safely’ away a hospital, these loving fathers have simply had very little access to accurate, impartial information about the safety and logistics of home births versus hospital births.”

The first chapter addresses “Risk & Responsibility,” because that is one of the very first issues of concern for most people new to the idea of homebirth. It moves on to a chapter called “Think Positive,” followed by “Choosing the Guest List” and then one titled “Pleasure and Pain” This chapter covers comfort measures and what to do while the woman you love is giving birth: “…away from the intravenous drip and ticking clocks, you can support your partner in experiencing labour in all of its awesome, challenging power.”

Chapter five—“Birth: Normal and Extraordinary” covers Labor 101 topics, including what to do with the placenta. This is followed by “Challenges & Complications” which covers some common issues of concern such as premature labor, being overdue, prolonged labor, distressed baby, cord around the neck, tearing, and blood loss. Each of these is followed by a “what can I do to help?” section.

The final chapter—“Now What?”—concludes with a nice segment called “how can I carry the lessons I’ve learned from my homebirth with me into the rest of my life as a father?”

Published in Scotland, the handbook has a UK perspective—it assumes participation in the NHS and a “booked” midwife and homebirth. There is no “how to choose a midwife” type of section (because there is no choice of midwives). For US readers, this leaves a set of issues unaddressed—such as varying legal statuses, etc. UK specific issues also arise based on the possibility of caregivers who are not thrilled about homebirth, but who have to come to the birth since it is a government supported option. It comes across that in Scotland homebirth may seem readily okay on paper, but in reality is more difficult to pull off.

The book does briefly discuss the birth climate in the US and soundly critiques ACOG’s position on homebirth.

The book has an index and a resources section.

The Father’s Home Birth Handbook is a friendly, practical, matter-of-fact, helpful little guide that neatly addresses common questions and concerns many fathers-to-be have about planning a homebirth.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Associated amusing anecdote: my then three year old noticed me reading this book, looked at the cover and said, “The dad is trying to grab him, but that little baby is floating away!

Prematurity Awareness Month: Mind/Body Medicine in the NICU

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and I’m pleased to have a guest post from OB/GYN and author, Dr. Jennifer Gunter, about prematurity and “mind-body medicine in the NICU.”

Mind-Body Connection

The mind-body connection is the idea that our thoughts and emotions impact our health. When we are stressed, anxious, or depressed our brain releases different combinations of chemicals and hormones that affect every organ system. Because mom and baby share a physical bond before birth as well as close emotional bond after birth, the mind-body connection is very important both during pregnancy and after delivery.

Studies show depression, stress, and anxiety during pregnancy increase the risk of preeclampsia (high-blood pressure) and premature delivery and can also lead to smaller babies. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends routine screening for depression as 14-23% of pregnant women are affected. There are many treatment options and getting help can improve your baby’s health. Remember, if you feel better it will benefit your baby.

It is intuitive that a mother’s emotional health can affect her pregnancy. After all, there is an intimate and prolonged physical connection. But how can this be the case after delivery? Have you ever been in a room with an anxious person or someone who is very depressed and felt your mood change? Our moods are influenced by the emotions of others and this is especially true with a mother and her newborn. When a mom is stressed, her baby is more likely to have abnormal levels of stress hormones. Some of the physical effects of mom’s (and dad’s too) stress on baby include increased colic, disturbed sleep patterns, feeding problems, and developmental concerns.

While reducing stress is important for everyone, premature babies appear to be especially vulnerable to the negative effects. This is because premature babies are not only exposed to physical stress from illness, the physical effects of a premature birth, and the intense medical care in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), but because their nervous system is immature they’re less able to mount any kind of protective responses.

Fortunately, this mind-body connection can be harnessed to facilitate wellness, even for a baby in the NICU. Positive thoughts, taming the stress response, and working towards emotional wellbeing promotes the best chemical and hormonal responses, which can positively impact your premature baby’s health.

The first thing is to work on your own emotional health, because up to 40% of mothers with a premature baby develop post partum depression and up to 75% develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Make sure you are screened for post partum depression and if you are feeling stressed, anxious or are having flashbacks, ask for help from the social worker, your OB/GYN, or therapist if you already have one.

Don’t neglect your physical health. While you may be deconditioned from bed rest and/or the physical recovery from your delivery, try to get outside two or three times a day for fresh air and as you get stronger, think about some short walks or other physical activity. Make sure you do your best to eat right (it’s hard when your baby is in the hospital, but processed foots and skipping meals will make you feel worse) and get enough sleep. It is better be well rested and in control for 5 hours in the neonatal intensive care unit than be exhausted and nonfunctional for ten hours. Remember, taking care of yourself is taking care of your baby.

Try one or two techniques to reduce stress every day, and then gradually add in others as your mood and emotions dictate.

  • Breath from your diaphragm. When we are stressed we breathe with our chest muscles instead of breathing from the diaphragm (also called belly breathing). Takes some time several times a day to practice deep, cleansing belly breaths for a few minutes. Put your hand on your belly and focus on taking deep, natural breaths—if your belly is moving up and down you are doing it right.
  • Practice pausing. When you find your stress level rising, stop what you’re doing and shift your focus away from what you cannot change, such as oxygen levels and infection, and focus on what you can influence, such as positive interactions with your baby or learning more about her condition.
  • Say affirmations, which are positive statements that when repeated help combat negative thoughts and feelings by reprogramming the unconscious mind. Podcasts and CDs are available. Affirmations can be found in books, on preprinted cards, and even services that will text affirmations to your cell phone. Another option is to buy a pack of 3 x 5 note cards and create your own. Some examples include, “I am strong and courageous,” and “I will share my spirit with my baby.”
  • Journal, because some thoughts are too hard to say out loud, but still need to be released. Write everything down on paper.
  • Keep your hands busy. Celebrate your baby with pictures and mementoes in a baby book. Knitting, crocheting, and sewing are also excellent stress relievers.

To maximize positive interaction and minimize stress on the nervous system it is also very important for a preemie parents to learn their baby’s stress cues.

  • Ask if your baby is stable enough for kangaroo care (holding your baby skin to skin). Your rhythms and warmth are soothing and healing (for both of you!).
  • Make eye contact, smile, and interact with your baby if your baby is ready to accept that kind of stimulation (your baby’s nurse will help you learn to read her cures so you can tell when she is physically receptive). Babies absorb every interaction (it actually helps program the nervous system), because of physical challenges many premature babies have fewer opportunities.
  • Offer a pacifier at regular intervals and any time your baby appears stressed. Sucking a pacifier is comforting for a premature baby and helps the developing nervous system form positive connections.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jennifer Gunter, MD, is an internationally renowned ob/gyn and leading expert in the field of women’s pain medicine.  She lives in Mill Valley, California. To see videos of Dr. Gunter and her preemie sons, Victor and Oliver, in action visit: www.preemieprimer.com.

From the press release for the book:

12.3 percent of babies are born prematurely every year in United States (March of Dimes), while in many northern European countries that rate is 5 percent — representing an alarming statistic as prematurity is the leading cause of death and disability for newborns. Not only that, but neonatal intensive care unit costs alone for premature babies are $6 billion a year, representing 47 percent of costs for all infant hospitalizations and 27 percent of all pediatric stays in hospital (Pediatrics, Oct 2010).

After rounds of fertilization treatments, Dr. Jennifer Gunter, ob/gyn, became pregnant with triplets. Twenty-two and a half weeks into her pregnancy she suddenly went into labor and delivered her first son, Aidan, who died just three minutes later.  Then something unexpectedhappened-she stopped delivering.  Nearly four weeks later, at week twenty-six, Jennifer delivered her sons, Oliver and Victor-weighing one pound eleven ounces and one pound thirteen ounces, respectively-and became a parent of preemies.

Approximately five hundred thousand babies are born prematurely every year in the United States. In fact, prematurity is the leading cause of death and disability for newborns. In The Preemie Primer: A Complete Guide for Parents of Premature Babies-from Birth through the Toddler Years and Beyond, Dr. Gunter provides a comprehensive resource that covers everything from delivery and hospitalization in the NICU to preemie development and parenting multiples-even discussing specific topics like finding a car seat for your preemie, setting special needs preemies up in school, and understanding insurance plans and medical billing.

Centering for Birth

I have a strong commitment to active birth—the use of movements, position changes, and most of all laboring out of bed. As a result, in my classes I tend to emphasize movement-based coping strategies for labor. However, I have also come to realize that coping measures employing relaxation and breath awareness are extremely valuable. These tools cannot be stripped away from the birthing woman. Whatever happens during birth, whatever unforeseen circumstances that arise, or if her need for activity runs smack into the hospital’s need for passivity, the breath—and breath based tools—cannot be taken from her. I do not teach patterned breathing techniques in my classes, but I do teach various breath awareness skills.

Centering is a breath awareness strategy that I’ve adapted for use in birth classes based on the ten second centering process described in the short book Ten Zen Seconds. Using the breath as a “container” for a thought or affirmation is the basis of centering. A meditative technique, the purpose is to “center” and to become mindful of the present moment. The container is a 10 second long breath—a five second in-breath and a five second out-breath—that holds a thought. You think the first half of the phrase on the in breath and the second half on the out breath (Maisel, 2007). Use this technique once or twice to “greet” the contraction and then continue breathing with awareness throughout the remainder of the contraction.

Some suggestions of centering thoughts to use during birthing include:

(I am open) (to birth)

(I am ready) (for my baby)

(I welcome) (my labor)

(I am confident) (and strong)

(Right here) (right now)

(I am equal) (to this challenge)

(I embrace) (this moment)

A pdf handout describing this technique (for use in birth classes), is now available here: Centering.

Another phrase I find useful in daily life, as well as applicable to birth is (I expect) (nothing). While this may initially appear pessimistic, it is a very useful reminder of the idea that most emotional suffering in life is a result of attachment to how something “should” be (i.e. “labor should only be taking 12 hours) (Dyer, 2002).

I frequently remind my birth class participants that coping techniques work best when they are incorporated into daily life rather than “dusted off” for use only during labor. Centering is a skill that is readily incorporated into real life. Indeed, when I first learned the technique, I quickly realized that it was a skill that I will use for the rest of my life. I let my class participants know that I regard this as a life skill, that happens to also be useful for birthing. It is essentially a tiny meditation technique that can be more readily incorporated into one’s daily life (especially a life that includes small children) than traditional, dedicated, more elaborate meditation techniques.

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Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE is a certified birth educator, writer, activist, and mother of two young sons. She is an LLL Leader and editor of the Friends of Missouri Midwives newsletter. She blogs about birth at http://talkbirth.me, midwifery at http://cfmidwifery.blogspot.com, and miscarriage at http://tinyfootprintsonmyheart.wordpress.com

References:

Dyer, Wayne. Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, Hay House. March 2002.

Maisel, Eric. Ten Zen Seconds, Sourcebooks, Inc. March 2007.

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This article is modified from one that originally appeared in The International Journal of Childbirth Education, July 2009 (page 20)

Call for contributions: personal birth stories for new booklet on birthing positions

I received an email this weekend from a woman who is writing a booklet about birthing positions (non-profit and free for distributing when finished!). She is seeking contributions of birth stories to use in the book. Below is her message:

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My name is Megan Layton. I have a strong interest in Women’s Health, current issues in obstetrics, as well as the cultural perceptions towards childbirth in general.

As well as being a Missouri native, a supporter of midwives and a woman’s right to an active role in childbirth, I am also a graduate student at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Currently I am working on a small, illustrated publication that focuses on birthing positions. The small book will be informative, fun, attractive, and free for distribution and copying. It is my intent to emphasize a woman’s choice during labor and childbirth, and not advocate for any particular position, provider, or setting, but merely convey the options available as well as the potential for birth to be a profound, empowering experience.

Part of the booklet will be first hand accounts of birth—oral histories from women who have had many different birthing experiences.

This is the reason I write to you: to ask that you share this with women who would be willing to share their personal stories, as well as any advice they could give to a woman who is about to experience childbirth for the first time.

Long or short, joyous or rational, funny or sad–any and all stories are welcome, and will be greatly appreciated. At the end of reviewing the narratives, I will ask those women whose stories best suit the publication for permission to use them. As well, I will send copies to all those who graciously allow me to reproduce their words.

All stories, narratives, and questions can be emailed via this link.

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It sounds like a wonderful project to me!

It also reminded me of my previous postings about how to use a hospital bed without lying down. I tell all my clients if they remember only ONE thing from my classes, it is see the hospital bed as a “platform” and a tool in their toolbox—NOT as a place to lie down!

And, here are links to my own birth stories (each which involved freedom of movement during labor as an integral piece!)

First son’s birth (at freestanding birth center): https://talkbirth.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/my-first-birth/

Second son’s birth (at home): https://talkbirth.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/my-second-birth/

Third son’s birth (miscarriage at home at 15 weeks): https://talkbirth.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/noahs-birth-story-warning-miscarriagebaby-loss/