coping tools | Talk Birth

Another concept I like from Birthing from Within is that of, “finding your question.” Really, it is your question in response to the question, “what is it I need to know to give birth?” This question was personally meaningful to me during each of my pregnancies. During my first pregnancy, my question was simply, “Can I do this?” I felt like birth was a “test” that I had to pass and that I needed to make sure to study for so I could “pass” it well! After giving birth, I realized that it hadn’t really been a test, but was instead really a rite of passage.

With my second pregnancy, I revisited the concept of finding my question and it was, “Can I mother another?” I finally answered this question for myself late one evening (while not in labor and resigned to being “pregnant forever”) and less than four hours after that I was holding my baby in my arms! 🙂

My personal experiences have led me to believe that finding your question can have important implications for your birth and it is an interesting concept to consider.

A concept I find useful to share in birth classes is that of Rhythm, Relaxation, and Ritual–the Three R’s of Childbirth. This is a concept developed by Penny Simkin and is illustrated in her labor support video by the same name. Ritual refers to a repetitive coping mechanism that spontaneously arises during labor–it usually is rhythmic and may be something like humming, singing, repeating a favorite phrase, tapping, vocalizing, rocking, swaying. You can think about and plan for possible labor rituals in advance, but the ritual that is most useful to you is often one that just arises on its own during your own individual labor and birth.

These are three R’s that enhance a woman’s experience of birth and help her cope with her sensations. When thinking about them today, I also came up with three R’s that detract from a woman’s birth experience: Routine, Restriction, and Risk (perception of).

I also considered other supporting R’s: Rest, Relationships, Rapport, and Respect.