Archive | 2011

Top 10 Kid Gadgets for Holiday Road Trips

We recently returned from a train trip to the Chicago area. While it took a long time to travel by train (mostly due to having to get to the station early, etc.), I really appreciated this mode of travel with a baby! Check out some pictures:

Alaina watching the world go by!

Watching a movie on Daddy's laptop on the way--Amtrak has two outlets for each set of seats, which is awesome!

The boys on the commuter train on the way home--they both got a little bit of a fever/cold and ended up sleeping on much of the return journey. It was actually kind of "convenient"!

Conked out on the commuter train back into Chicago (see how she holds my necklace 🙂

One of the greatest benefits of train travel to me is the ability to hold and nurse the baby while traveling. I’ve said so many times how I wish I could invent a baby carrier that you could legally wear in a car. Traveling on the train allowed me to experience that imagining. It was great! She rode, she nursed, she snoozed, she checked things out.

Now THIS is how I like to travel with a baby!

When I got home, I coincidentally received the following guest post about keeping kids entertained on holiday road trips. For our own train trip, the most useful thing we had was the laptop. (I also had mine with me and actually managed to edit 81 pages of my miscarriage book on the trip home!) While we were at my in-laws, I also bought some fun little “blind bag” Playmobil and Lego figures and gave them to the kids to play with on the way home.

Guest Post: Top 10 Kid Gadgets for Holiday Road Trips

by Ashley Grimaldo
Talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous. But a mid-transit chat pales in comparison to the distraction of driving with one (or two!) children wailing in the backseat. Nothing increases adrenaline and quick recall of four-letter words quite like crying kids.

As parents, we can mentally cope with crying kids to and from the grocery store. But long-distance trips need more finesse. Careful preparation and a few necessities can prevent a few glitches and keep your travel going smoothly. As you prepare for holiday travels, make the most of your trip with these handy gadgets.

1. Snack Container
A signature trademark of a kid-friendly car is a Hansel and Gretel-worthy crumb collection on every surface. If you can overlook this completely annoying parenthood perk, I applaud you; otherwise invest in some creative cups. Munchkin offers an ingenious design with handles and no spill rubber top–two for under $7. Sporting a similar design but with an attachable rope (and additional solid top) is the Spill-Proof Snack Buddy Cup from One Step Ahead.

2. Window Shade
Getting on the road is tough enough; stopping to shade a sunset shouldn’t be on your list of priorities. Grab a light-cutting window shade to curb the brightness. Measure your windows and buy the widest shade possible, making sure you have enough visibility in your back and rear passenger windows. Check out your options at Great Baby Products for window shade reviews.

3. Lacing Toys
Kids above age 3 (who don’t suffer from motion sickness) will work on lacing boards for hours. Growing Tree Toys has a fantastic range of simple lacing activities, like necklaces and ABCs, to complex connect-a-dot boards. Bring a bucket to set in your child’s lap so that she can contain the blocks without dropping them on the floor.

4. Finger Puppets
For the dramatic types in your crew, a set of finger puppets can be a space-saving lifesaver. My favorite are high-quality puppets that tell a familiar story, like Thumbelina or the Frog Prince from puppet master Folkmanis, but folks on a budget can definitely afford IKEA’s popular set of circus characters or animals for just $4.99.

5. Favorite Music
Not your favorite music, mind you. Junior may not appreciate the vocal stylings of Rihanna for hours on end (and, honestly, you shouldn’t either). Enjoy some traditional Disney favorites and throw in some award-winning movement songs from Hap Palmer and Joe Scruggs to keep the mood kid-friendly. Bring on talk radio when it’s time for a snooze.

6. Bubbles
So what if you have to clean up the residue later! Bubbles are total fun for all ages, especially when the road seems never-ending. Unless you have an older child, mom or dad needs to commandeer the liquid and blow them toward the back. The best bubbles on the market, hands down, come from Gymboree. These bubbles float forever and the solution never dries out.

7. Barf Bag
Close to 30% of people are susceptible to motion sickness, and kids are no exception. The barfies can strike at any time–there’s no guarantee that your child will or won’t get sick on a road trip. Prepare for the worst by investing in a few leak-proof barf bags with fun pictures printed on the outside and show your child how to “cough” into it if his tummy starts to hurt. And bring an extra couple of towels just in case.

8. Neck Pillow
This is a tricky one. Your younger child may or may not like the feeling of something so close to her neck. Try it on short stroller trips ahead of time to practice. If your kiddo will wear it, she’ll be far more comfortable during naps. Pillow companions like the Dora neck pillow attach to the straps of your car seat or stroller, making it a bit more accessible.

9. Small Baking Sheets
This ingenious idea from Family Fun keeps the ever-present I-dropped-it-on-the-floor wail at bay. Use a conventional (but smaller) lipped baking sheet as a drawing, magnetic and keep-it-all-in-one place surface. Glue one or two layers of foam shelf paper on the bottom to make it less likely to fall and affix white contact paper to the top for the drawing surface. Turn it into multiple activities by attaching magnets to buttons for checkers or bingo games. Older travelers might prefer a more sophisticated travel kit like this one from Martha Stewart.

10. iPad
No, I’m not a fan of hours of screen time for little eyes, but during a road trip this godsend is a total catchall. From apps for all ages to music and movies, the iPad is the perfect device for tiny travelers. Purchasing gift cards at a discount from sites like GiftCardGranny can help you pay for the pricey device at such retailers as Target and Walmart, who are currently offering deals on iPad 2 bundles. Then, let your kiddos learn letters with Starfall or everything nursery-rhyme cooky from Duck Duck Moose. When all else fails, strap it to the seat and watch a movie.

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Ashley Grimaldo comes from a long line of penny pinchers and enjoys blogging on money-saving tips and advice for frugal-minded parents. She lives with her husband and three children in Bryan, Texas. Ashley has been featured among such media outlets as Redbook, The Chicago Tribune, Time.com, and CBS News-Houston.

For all media inquiries, please contact Ashley Grimaldo at ashley@kinoliinc.com.

Full Moon Calendar Mandala

Nov15

I drew this full moon calendar mandala as part of an assignment for one of the classes I’m taking (we are working on our “wheel of the year” and holidays, etc.). While it was not specifically part of the assignment to do so, I found that drawing this mandala image helped me to explore and express my ideas. It contains the dates of all the full moons in 2012, as well as representations of the waxing and waning moons for the entire year. I initially set this to post as private, so it wouldn’t be visible to my blog readers and would only be available to my class, but then I reconsidered and thought other people might be interested in seeing it as well:

Full Moon Calendar Mandala

Birth and the Women’s Health Agenda

Nov13

Ready to be on the agenda, dangit!

In the Fall issue of The Journal of Perinatal Education (Lamaze), there was a guest editorial by perinatologist Michael Klein called “Many Women and Providers are Unprepared for an Evidence-Based Conversation About Birth.” In it he notes:

Childbirth is not on the women’s health agenda in most Western countries…It never has been. Osteoporosis is. Breast health is; violence against women is. Why not childbirth? Because women, understandably, do not want to be judged only by their reproductive capacities. Women are multipotential people. Among many potentialities, they can rise to the top of the academic and corporate world. Giving birth is just one of many things women can do. But now is the time to add childbirth to the women’s health agenda; it is because of the lack of informed decision making that birth should be added to that agenda, lack of information, misinformation, and even disinformation. The time is now.

…What really matters is attitudes and beliefs, which are much more difficult to change than putting away the scissors and hanging some plants. These are systemic issues. (emphasis mine) It is all about anxiety and fear. The doctors are afraid…The women are afraid…Society is afraid and averse to risk.

So how can you make a revolution when so few individuals are unhappy with current maternity care practices? The most unhappy and well-informed women select midwives, if available. The most fearful women select obstetricians. Providers are not going to initiate the revolution to make childbirth a normal rather than high-risk, industrialized activity…Women are going to have to take the lead…

The problem is not that obstetricians are surgeons. They are. The problem is that society has invested surgeons with control over normal childbirth.

I keep wanting to write an article called, “is evidence-based care enough?” because we see this phrase used so often in birth advocacy work. It is kind of the companion phrase to the, “women just need to educate themselves” line of thought, that, quite frankly, is also just not enough. And, I think the reason it isn’t enough—all of our education, all of our books, and all of our evidence—is because it isn’t information itself that really needs to change, it is women’s feelings and beliefs about birth (and the medical system’s feelings and beliefs about it too, in addition to their practices) and changing those sometimes feel like an insurmountable task. As I’ve written before, much of the time it isn’t that we actually want women to know more, we want them to act differently. And, a choice made in a context of fear is not an informed choice at all.

A Writer’s Prayer

Nov13

I often use my blog as as a means of saving thoughts and ideas for “later” or for storing the ideas of other people for future reference or reflection. Sometimes I feel like it is silly to do this–why write a blog post that primarily consists of quotes that I want to remember or use in the future? Why not just trust that I can eventually go back to that book or article and re-find the good stuff then? I’ve often chided myself about it–don’t use your blog to “store” stuff, use it for original ideas. Quit writing short little posts and work on your books instead. And, more cruelly, don’t bother, no one cares. However, I’ve also realized that I don’t have the space in my life right now for the sustained concentration it would require for me to write my books. I have ideas for four of them. My miscarriage memoir is almost finished and I do plan to publish it this year, but the others are not and I’ve accepted that they won’t be likely to get any of my attention until my kids are older. I can barely find the time to write any articles lately, let alone books. But, then I realized that in a way, when I collect words and thoughts in my blog–whether just transcribed words from something that caught my attention, or fresh words of my own–I am working on my books. I’m preserving, collecting, storing, and refining ideas, words, memories, and thoughts, so that I will have a rich collection to mine when I’m ready to fully develop it. I might dismiss it as “just blogging” and some posts might just be short quotes from other writers, but I think there is good value to me in this collecting process after all.

From the anthology Sisters Singing, here is a quote from a longer poem called, A Writer’s Prayer, by Sarah Jones:

…The body of a writer
is a political action
with each swing of a letter
each truth written
the world is broken open,
a vein of truth exposed.
A writer’s prayer is for herself.
That she will hold to slowness
that she will hold to the beauty of a candle
that with the dirt and the grit of living under her nails,
she will write her body into language.

I write to remember. I write to share. I write to preserve. I write to collect. I write to store. I write for myself. I write for my children. I write for others. I write for perspective. I write to play my life’s music. I write because I just can’t help it.

The Beauty of a Nursing Mother

Nov13

“The beauty of a nursing mother can never be explained by a little oxytocin around the milk glands.”

—The Wisdom of the Body

(in a section discussing the biology and physiology of milk production and delivery)

I’ve mentioned before how very much I enjoy the Diane Wiessinger’s conference presentations. In 2007, I attended her amazing session called “Watch Your Language” that was about how we talk about breastfeeding. An example of a problem word when it comes to breastfeeding–using the word “special” to describe breastfeeding: a “special bond” a “special nursing corner” etc. and also using the word “perfect” (which communicates something that isn’t reasonable or that “real” people can’t do or live up to). She encouraged us not to “glorify breastfeeding” like this. Breastfeeding ISN’T special, it is NORMAL. A breastfed baby has a “normal bond” with its mother! Human milk isn’t the perfect food for babies, it is the NORMAL food for babies.

A long time ago I also marked the following quote to share from K.C. Compton in an article in Utne about baby boomers:

“We discovered firsthand the radical nature of simple acts: Sit in the front of the bus, ask that your husband be present during his son’s birth, decide to feed your infant with your own breasts, refuse the nuclear power plant being built just up the road. We also learned how much more effective those acts can be when compounded by the hundreds and thousands, their feet on the street…”

And, then this reminds me of a powerful editorial by Peggy O’Mara, urging women to see their mothering as a political act:

See your mothering as a political act. The way you talk to your child becomes his or her inner voice. The way you model acceptance of your own body becomes the way your daughter learns to accept hers. The way you model the distribution of chores in the household provides a blueprint for your children’s marriages. Bringing consciousness and awareness to the small acts of your life with your family can change the world. Your mothering is enough.

…As mothers, we think that our concerns are the concerns of the many. We have to make sure that they are. As mothers, we hope that our children are protected by society. We have to act when they are not. As mothers, we have authoritative knowledge about our own experience, an experience we have in common with millions of women. We can build a more just society on the ground of this common experience.

New Pictures!

Nov11

I took Alaina for a 9 month photo shoot with my friend Karen (of Portraits and Paws Photography) who also took my pregnancy photos. I really have fun getting high quality pictures that capture what our lives are like. She is able to catch expression, details, and feeling in a way that I can’t usually do with snapshots. So, even though we were thoroughly exhausted from having just returned from my sister-in-law’s wedding near Chicago), I’m really glad we did another photo shoot!

Here are a couple of my favorites from the day, including one of each of my boys (lest you think I only get pictures taken of the baby!):

This one might be my favorite--I see this little face all the time, but have never really preserved it in a picture (she always looks away, it is blurry, whatever).

Became very obsessed with this candy cane

What a cutie! (note, still has some candy cane)

My biggest boy!

My little Z! (He's got some pretty amazing eyelashes/eyes too!)

We're going to try to get some better family shots another day. This was at the end of the shoot and all were tired. I like it anyway though. I also think it somehow looks like a lot of kids and only one mom!

I thought this one was a cute one of me--A looks done with pictures though (and, still has some candy cane)

Guest Post: More Business of Being Born Mini-Review

Nov9

In conjunction with the More Business of Being Born giveaway I’m currently hosting, I’m also pleased to share this mini-review of the first installment (Down on the Farm) guest posted by my friend and colleague, doula Summer:

More Business of Being Born

Down on the Farm: Conversations with Legendary Midwife Ina May

Reviewed by Summer Thorp-Lancaster

http://peacefulbeginnings.wordpress.com
http://summerdoula.wordpress.com

The first installation of More Business of Being Born, Down on the Farm: Conversations with Legendary Midwife Ina May, is infused with loving scenes of midwifery care, loads of vital information and even a few jokes (such as a gift referencing Ina May’s infamous “sphincter law”). We are given an up close view of the well-known Farm in Tennessee, whose Midwives boast an exemplary track record of Midwife attended, out-of-hospital births. This record includes a less than 2% cesarean section rate in over 2500 births. Throughout the interviews, Ina May’s (and the other Midwives featured) reverence and respect for the Midwifery Model of Care is ever-present. Her passion for the safety and overall well-being of the motherbaby is palpable and stirring.

It would be impossible to cover the many aspects of birth, or even just Midwife attended out-of-hospital birth, in a full length film, let alone an episode, but this piece successfully touches on many topics and will (hopefully) lead to further discussion amongst viewers. As an activist, I found myself left with a renewed sense of action or purpose, a desire to do more and help more so that all mamas and babies have the opportunity to experience birth as the positive, loving and intimate experience it was meant to be as well as a deeper understanding of the crisis surrounding our medical model of birth. I would recommend this film to everyone, as the state of maternity care affects us all.

Giveaway! More Business of Being Born!

Nov8

This giveaway is now closed: Kelli, Stephanie Lee, Luta, and Jessica (jessiegirl) were the four winners!

Today the long-awaited sequel to the Business of Being Born is released! I should have a review of the film to share with you soon and I’m so excited about this film. But, even better than a review, I am hosting a giveaway in honor of the film’s release today! More Business of Being Born consists of four approximately one hour films centering on different themes (see summaries below). We will have four lucky winners of this giveaway—one per film. Each winner will receive a code to watch one of the films for free. To enter, simply leave a comment below letting me know which of the four you’d most like to see! I will draw the winners via random.org next Monday.

Here is a little bit more about More Business of Being Born:

Ricki & Alanis

This release follows their landmark documentary, The Business of Being Born, with a four part DVD series that continues their provocative and entertaining exploration of the modern maternity care system. More Business of Being Born, available November 8th, offers a practical look at birthing options as well as poignant celebrity birth stories from stars including Alanis Morissette, Gisele Bundchen, Christy Turlington-Burns, Cindy Crawford, Molly Ringwald, Laila Ali, Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Melissa Joan Hart.

And, you can check out the trailer here too:

Film summaries:

DVD #1

Down on The Farm: Conversations with Legendary Midwife Ina May Gaskin

Follow Executive Producer Ricki Lake and Director Abby Epstein to The Farm Community in Summertown, Tennessee, where pioneer midwife Ina May Gaskin talks candidly about the latest birth trends and the art of midwifery. Gaskin, who was featured in the original The Business of Being Born, sparked Lake’s initial interest in natural birth and has continued to inspire the filmmaking duo’s advocacy efforts. Also on the journey is pregnant actress Kimberly Williams-Paisley, who has enlisted a midwife to attend the birth of her second child and joins the filmmakers in meeting The Farm’s famous midwives and touring the picturesque birth cabins in the woods. In the poignant final sequence, Gaskin exhibits her Safe Motherhood Quilt and calls for a deeper examination into the rising maternal mortality rate in the US. (Running Time: 55 min)

DVD #2

Special Deliveries: Celebrity Mothers Talk Straight on Birth

Featuring celebrity moms Laila Ali, Gisele Bundchen, Cindy Crawford, Alyson Hannigan, Melissa Joan Hart, Kellie Martin, Alanis Morissette, Christy Turlington-Burns and Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Special Deliveries is a collection of intimate birth stories from a diverse group of mothers. Whether they chose to deliver at a hospital, home or birthing center, these heartfelt and humorous testimonies speak to the lasting power of the birth experience. True inspiration for any mother-to-be, this group of women trusted their bodies and intuitions, taking responsibility for their birth decisions even when things didn’t go according to plan. None of these courageous women has ever spoken on the record in such compelling detail, and, on this DVD, the filmmakers weave together their passionate narratives as a celebration of the journey to motherhood that will leave viewers with a renewed sense of amazement about the power of women.
(Running Time: 74 min)

DVD # 3

Explore Your Options: Doulas, Birth Centers & C-Sections

The most comprehensive and educational DVD in the series, Explore Your Options offers birth-planning guidance around key topics such as the role of doulas (labor support specialists,) the advantages of birth centers and the alarming escalation of cesarean sections in the United States and Brazil. Epstein and Lake talk to doulas about why their profession is currently booming and uncover why having a good doula can make-or-break the entire birth experience. They look at the ever-growing rates of inductions and c-sections, which have reached 50% in many US hospitals and more than 99% in some private hospitals in Brazil. How “safe” are these cesarean surgeries, and what are the health implications for the mothers and babies? Explore Your Options examines the pros and cons of birth centers, described as a perfect middle ground between home and hospital. Special features include Alanis Morissette and Alyson Hannigan on the advantages of doulas, Christy Turlington Burns on her unexpected complications at a birth center, Molly Ringwald on how she avoided a cesarean birth with her twins and Gisele Bundchen and Michelle Alves on the cesarean epidemic in their native Brazil. (Running Time: 102 min)

DVD #4

The VBAC Dilemma: What Your Options Really Are

The VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) has become a hot-button issue in the modern maternity care system, as one in three new mothers will give birth via cesarean section. Are all of these mothers then forced to undergo a repeat cesarean the next time around? Epstein and Lake posed that question to dozens of experts, determining the surprising truth about VBACs. They also follow several women’s stories – both those who succeed and fail at attempting a VBAC – including that of filmmaker Abby Epstein, whose first c-section delivery was depicted in the dramatic, final moments of The Business of Being Born.
(Running Time: 51 min)

Sand Tray Therapy

Nov7

I hoped to finish Noah’s book before his birthday today, but I didn’t quite make it. I’m still editing the last half, adding resources to the appendix, and waiting for my husband to design the cover for me. Hopefully I will publish it by the end of the year! Instead, I wanted to share some pictures and thoughts from a sand tray therapy exercise that I did during a session at the ICAN conference in St. Louis in April. I’ve been meaning to post about it since then and haven’t found the opportunity, so in honor of his birthday seems very fitting and appropriate. The session was intentionally kept small for personal sharing and when we walked in the therapist, Maria Carella, asked if we were there to celebrate a birth or to grieve one. I said I was there for both (I had Alaina with me and she slept in the Ergo during the session). Each of us had a tray of sand and there were long tables at the front of the room full of objects and materials (like shells, feathers, and so forth). We were paired up and after arranging our items on our sand, we were asked to share our tray with the person next to us as well as the message, lesson, reflection, or insight we received from the process of making the tray. While some people used the sand in various creative ways—mounding it up, etc.—I just smoothed mine out and put stuff on top of it. The experience of sharing with my tablemate was very moving and profound. We had a lot of surprising similarities in our feelings about our births, though our stories were very different. And, our closing thoughts or insights about our trays were almost identical.

While it might be hard to see everything, I chose the bridge to symbolize my feeling of having crossed the bridge to the “other side”—meaning first the fact that after Noah and my second miscarriage, I felt separated from women who had not experienced loss by a bridge and as if I’d crossed over into new territory and left my old, happy, naive pregnant self behind (along with the other non-loss mamas. A little more about this bridge here). AND, that I also felt like with Alaina’s birth that I crossed a bridge into the unknown and to the end of the pregnancy-after-loss journey. Her birth represented the “other side” of PAL. So, at the end of the bridge I drew a question mark in the sand, representing all the questions I had to get past and over in order to get to my new baby. The little baby on the side of the bridge represents how I still had Noah with me. He didn’t get “left behind” on the other side of the bridge, but was next to me on my journey. The spiral on the other side represents the continuous, unfolding spiral of life. Sitting by the question mark is a sort of Kachina-type figure holding many babies. To me she represents all of the babyloss mamas and also reminds me of the jizos who protect lost babies. There is also a coffin on the other side of the question mark, summing up how the fear of the death was everpresent for me and I had to pass over that fear as well to get to my new baby—my light, the candle on the other side of death. The little sparkling gems also represent my joy at her birth and what a treasure she is to me. The bone on the side of the candle represents the places where the “meat was chewed off my bones” by all my births, including Noah’s (I had just attended Pam England’s birth story sharing session prior to this sand tray session). I placed the Goddess of Willendorf figure, that I had immediately snatched off the table as soon as I spotted her, at the top to represent how my sense of spirituality had surrounded and enfolded both my experiences—She is “holding” it all. And, I explained to my tablemate how the roundness of the tray to me also represented the full circle—how Alaina’s story and Noah’s are entwined and how her birth was the “end” (of sorts) of his story, but that they are part of one whole.

View from the top

Happy birthday, tiny third son. We remember you. Thank you for opening my heart and my life for your sister to enter.

What Really Scares Me: Social Attitudes Towards Women

Nov2

The following items all came across my desk (top) last week and it seemed fitting to put them into one post.

The first is with regard to the Boxing Federation wishing to make the female boxers box wearing skirts:

That’s right, skirts. The AIBA has introduced a trial alternate uniform, asking female boxers to wear skirts because it will make the women easier to distinguish from the men, as if the completely different bodies wasn’t enough. Poland adopted the uniform, calling the uniforms more “elegant” and “womanly.”

via Boxing federation wants female boxers to wear skirts – Fourth-Place Medal – Olympics Blog – Yahoo! Sports.

As you might imagine, the comments on this article with alternately hilarious and maddening (seriously, reading comments on a news article is the quickest way to both cause my blood to boil and to simultaneously despair at the future of humankind). I liked this one though:

“So I guess the AIBA thinks Americans are so stupid that when they see ‘Women’s boxing,’ sports bras, longer hair, and oh yeah, women, we can’t figure out what gender it is until we see skirts.

‘What sport is this?’ ‘Boxing…but those don’t look like men…what the hell are they?'”

But, why stop at skirts?! Why not lingerie! That’s what the Lingerie Football League is in favor of:

The LFL claims its emergence in 2009 “formally shattered … the ceiling on women playing tackle football.” Thankfully, the visionaries at the LFL have devised a way to offer such athletic empowerment to our younger generation with their decision to start a youth league:

“With the growing popularity around the LFL, younger and younger girls are starting to dream of playing LFL football,” its website reads. “In recent months and years, parents of young ladies routinely contact LFL league offices inquiring about everything ranging from what size football do you use to what form of training should I place my daughter into now to prepare her for LFL Football. [sic]”

…Look, I know we can’t shield our little girls with a protective glass box and expect them to never be exposed to the harsh reality that at some point in their lives, probably sooner rather than later, they will viewed as sexual objects. But do we need them to feel it before they know how to multiply double digits? I can appreciate that the LFL youth league will be fully clothed, but just the mere association with the word “lingerie” will instill in the girls that one day, if they want to play with the big boys, they’ll be forced to strip down to do so.

via Talking Smack — Are you ready for some T&A? – espnW.

What an excellent concluding point. This article reminded me of the sexyfication of Halloween costumes for girls in recent years. And, also of conversations recently amongst my friends about “appropriate dress” and how restricting girls’ clothing choices is damaging too, just like clothing that objectifies girls/women is damaging. We usually conclude that dressing in a way that makes YOU feel good is what matters (and being able to make your own choices about what that is). When think about things like the LFL though, I just wonder if it is even possible to tease it apart anymore—are girls learning that there is any other way to feel good about themselves other than how they look while playing football in a bra?! Likewise, we’ve also had conversations about how little girls are often complimented on their clothes and how “cute” and “pretty” they are and much less often about how brave and smart and strong they are. But, likewise, sometimes it is also nice to be told you look cute or pretty—when I feel cute or pretty it feels nice to have that acknowledged rather than to be ignored PCishly. I think it is hard to tell where it comes from.

So, this brings me to my third disturbing experience. I frequently receive press releases about a variety of products related to pregnancy, birth, parenting, and women’s health. Some of them I write about, some of them I don’t. I usually refrain from posting about the ones I find ridiculous or insulting, because I don’t want to have this be a place in which I mock things and I also don’t want to insult or point fingers at the press people who contact me with these “news” items. However, in the context of the above, I cannot help but mention that I received a release about a new procedure for those of us who are seeking, “completely new buttocks” with just two quick, nearly painless doctor’s visits! According to the release:

Dallas, Texas, October 28, 2011 – A stitch in time can re-align. At least, that’s the concept behind a new minimally-invasive cosmetic procedure to lift and shape the buttocks called the Brazilian Thread-Lift.

“I’ve never seen anything this quick and this dramatic,” says Dr. Bill Johnson at Innovations Medical in Dallas. “After two simple, 45-minute procedures using only local anesthetic, a patient can completely re-shape her backside.”

During the first visit, while under local anesthesia, the patient has several specifically-designed sutures or plastic threads strung under the skin and across each buttock. The entire procedure takes less than an hour. The threads have a series of thin knots covered by tiny cones which can be placed easily and with minimal discomfort. The cones create small fibrotic areas that function like little ligaments. After three months, the patient returns for an equally-brief follow-up visit, during which the physician gently tightens each thread, providing a smooth, even lift… (emphasis mine)

While they term it “small fibrotic areas,” I read purposeful internal scarring in the name of “beauty” or sexiness and I find it deeply disturbing. What does it say about our cultural attitudes towards women that anyone would desire OR promote purposely creating scar tissue in your butt so that you look more “youthful”? Because, after all, nothing says youthful and sexy like fibrotic areas that help pull your butt fat into place.

And, this reminded me that on a recent trip out of town we passed a “women’s health office” of an OBGYN. In largest print on the clinic’s sign was, “laser hair removal.” Ah, yes, because the most pressing mission of a women’s health surgeon should be to rid the world of excess body hair. That really inspires confidence. And, it also makes me wonder what is happening socioculturally, that anyone would consider it appropriate to see a physician for hair removal. How could we possibly be having a national health care crisis when such fabulous services are available on every street corner?! Considering that being pregnant and giving birth are medical conditions requiring “delivery” via the medical model of care, I guess it is not such a leap to think that those pesky stray hairs could also warrant medical attention. Perhaps we will reach a point in the future where anything having to do with women and their messy, excess hairy, birthy, butt fatty bodies will be dealt with by professionals. Wearing skirts.