What Does Coping Well Mean?

“I believe with all my heart that women’s birth noises are often the seat of their power. It’s like a primal birth song, meeting the pain with sound, singing their babies forth. I’ve had my eardrums roared out on occasions, but I love it. Every time. Never let anyone tell you not to make noise in labor. Roar your babies out, Mamas. Roar.” –Louisa Wales

Occasionally, I hear people telling birth stories and emphasizing not making noise as an indicator, or “proof,” of how well they coped with birthing–“I didn’t make any noise at all,” or “she did really well, she only made noise towards the end…” Women also come to classes looking for ways to stay “in control” and to “relaxed.”

This has caused me to do some thinking. Though relaxation is very important and helpful, to me, the goal of “laboring well” is not necessarily “staying in control” or “staying relaxed” or “not making any noises.” Instead, I view “laboring well” as involving: listening to yourself; respecting your own needs and acting on them; working with your body; finding your rhythm; trusting your instincts; following your body’s urges/signals; accessing your inner wisdom; finding your unique way along the path; journeying with openness, curiosity, acceptance, excitement and joy; and responding to coping strategies that spontaneously arise from within.

I have been reading Penny Simkin’s The Labor Progress Handbook and she addresses this subject as well:

“Childbirth education programs first emerged in the 1940s, when much less was known about the powerful, multisensory ways in which women spontaneously cope with labor. Much has been learned since then, but older ideas have left their stamp on Western culture…Many people still think that ‘coping well’ means that the woman remains silent and does not move during contractions. Often, caregivers, partners, and the women themselves believe that women who are physically active and vocal are coping poorly, and may strive to help these women to be quiet. However, we now know that women with kinesthetic and vocal coping styles often find much more effective relief from pain and stress when they move and make sounds, than when they try to use the quiet, still techniques of early childbirth methods.”

During my own births I found movement and sound to be of tremendous importance. With my first baby, I felt more inhibited and primarily coped by humming. I spent a lot of time kneeling on the ground with my head on the bed. With my second, I was alone with my husband for most of the time and was much more vocal–“talking” myself through contractions. I also moved around a great deal and found it very important. Talking (well, really rhythmic word repetition) and moving, for me, are parts of “surrendering” to the power, process, and intensity of giving birth. This fits with my personality as well as in “normal” life I talk a lot (talk-to-think) and I also have a lot of physical energy that leads to my “buzzing” around the room a lot or stepping back-and-forth as I speak.

Edited to add that the Feminist Childbirth Studies blog linked to this post with an interesting and insightful further development/exploration of this subject in the post characteristics of a ‘good’ labor and birth experience?

I revisited this topic in a later post: The Power of Noise in Labor

Birth art sculpture depicting pushing the baby out. Roar, mama, roar!

Benefits of Childbirth Education

Dec27

People sometimes wonder what are the benefits of childbirth education. Classes can seem expensive and they wonder what they will get out of them. The main question that researchers have examined is whether classes reduce labor pain (inconclusive). I have a book called Labor Pain that cites research indicating that classes do reduce the need for medication during labor. According to the same book, though study results do not always agree, various researchers have also found:

possible decrease in length of labor
lower levels of uterine dysfunction requiring augmentation
fewer cases of elevated blood pressure
“less maternal illness and less use of antibiotics after birth”
“more stable heart rate readings in babies during labor”
“more involvement by partners”
“more positive feelings about birth and giving birth among women attending”
less pain during labor
“less frequent use of forceps at delivery”
“greater awareness at birth”
“more enjoyment of birth for women who had attended classes than for those who had not”

Sounds like there are lots of benefits to taking birth classes! 🙂

The Orchestra of Birth

Dec27

I wanted to share a nice quote from Sheila Kitzinger:

“A woman who is enjoying her labor swings into the rhythm of contractions as if birth-giving were a powerful dance, her uterus creating the beat. She watches for it, concentrates on it, like an orchestra following its conductor.”

Rhythm played an important role during my first labor as one of my primary coping tools was humming a song repeatedly–the intensity of the humming increased with the intensity of my body’s work.

During my second birth, which was very rapid, it felt less like a “dance” or a meolody to follow and more like a train that was speeding by very rapidly and in order to stay “with it” I had to “run fast” (mentally) and hop on for the ride!

Questions During Labor

Dec20

One of the things I talk about in birth classes is about avoiding asking the laboring woman too many questions. Questions make her leave “birth brain” and throw off her rhythm and coping skills. I recently read a newsletter from Birthing from Within that touches on this issue in a beautifully articulate way:

“Watching this scene reminded me of what frequently happens to mothers in labor being admitted to the hospital. A mother is mustering up courage and immersed in the profound act of creation and personal transformation–but that is overlooked when she is asked, ‘When did you have your last bowel movement?’ and twenty other questions! When we recognize the hard work and intensity of labor, and stay present to the birthing woman’s experience, rather than blindly following our own agenda, we honor her Warrior spirit.“

Breaking through…

Dec8

From the book Joyful Birth, I wanted to share this quote:

“The memory of [my son’s] birth has become a talisman that I hold in my heart as I journey deeper and deeper into motherhood. For these moment’s come again in every mother’s life–the times when we are asked to walk straight into our pain and fear, and in doing so, open up to a love that is greater than anything we ever could have imagined: all life’s beauty and wonder, as well as all the ways that things can break and go wrong…Again and again, motherhood demands that we break through our limitations, that we split our hearts open to make room for something that may be more than we thought we could bear. In that sense, the labor with which we give birth is simply a rehearsal for something we mothers must do over and over: turn ourselves inside out, and then let go.”

Pain-Free Birth?

Dec5

As I’ve referenced before, I have a special interest different theories with regard to pain and birth. The last issue of the Midwifery Today e-news had “Pain in Childbirth” as a theme and there was an excerpt of an article by Ingrid Bauer called “Pain Free Birth?” It was very powerful. She says:

“Inevitably, in discussions about unassisted or natural birth, the topic of pain-free birth rolls around. When it does, I wonder if striving for a ‘pain-free birth’ doesn’t inadvertently miss the potential beauty of natural birth itself. I don’t believe birth is meant to be pain-free, in fact, I believe it’s far more than that! I believe, and have experienced, birth to be downright ecstatically, blissfully pleasurable. ‘Pain-free’ doesn’t even come close to describing that experience. That’s like calling a high sexual union with your mate ‘pain-free,’ or the most breathtaking sunset you’ve ever seen ‘ugly-free.’ I think that as long we’re focusing on getting rid of or avoiding pain, we’re focusing on the wrong area and we’re completely missing the point.”

I love this! Language is so powerful. I like how Hypnobabies educators often refer to “easy, comfortable birthing” and other people who refer to birth as “pleasurable birth” or “joyful birth” or “ecstatic birth.” How much more descriptive than “pain-free” or “painless” that is. Painless or pain-free to me communicates a loss of sensation or awareness–a “deadness” or “dullness” to the fullness of birth.

Personal Mastery and Birth

Nov29

I wanted to share a link to a post I wrote recently for the ICEA blog. In this post I discussed some research from the book Childbirth Education: Research, Practice, & Theory:

The book also shares the research that when mothers were interviewed postpartum who had had epidurals, their comments following birth focused almost totally on the baby. Women who had relied on relaxation and other non-pharmaceutical coping methods talked about the baby AND about the emotional and psychological benefits of their birth experiences. Women in both groups expressed satisfaction with their birth experiences, but for those in the epidural group “the element of personal accomplishment or mastery was missing in their comments.”

I believe that starting out the parenting adventure with a sense of “personal accomplishment and mastery” is a tremendous gift and I wish all expectant couples had the opportunity to experience birth in this way. In my classes, I strive to emphasize that both process (giving birth) and product (healthy baby, healthy mom) are important!

As long as I’m discussing posts I’ve made elsewhere, I wanted to also link to my CfM blog post this week which was about what are we thankful for? (in the “birth world”). I have a lot to be thankful for and hope you do as well!

What’s at the root?

Nov19

On a discussion board this week in the birth professionals section (doulas, midwives, birth educators), someone asked the question “what’s at the root of your love of birth?” I was still for a moment and let my intuitive, heart-felt, gut level response come to me and it was this:

Women.

Women’s health, women’s issues, women’s empowerment, women’s rights.

Social justice.

…..

And, that feeling. The “birth power” feeling–that laughing/crying, euphoric, climbed-the-mountain, glowing, rapture…feeling. The transformative, empowering, triumphant, powerful, I DID IT, feeling.

I want all women to have the chance to experience that.

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As I look at my list above and invert it, it becomes my “tree” of birthwork–with women as the root and then spreading up to blossom with that birth-power-feeling. 🙂

To any birth professionals reading this, how about you? What’s at the root for you?

Birth Stories in Six Words or Less…

Apr5

This was a fun “challenge” a friend directed me to that originated with this blog.

The idea is to share your birth story using six words (or less). Here are mine:

First Baby: Maybe two centimeters? No, ten! Hooray!

Second Baby: Two hours. 9#2 baby. I’m awesome!

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How about you? Want to share?

Satisfaction with Your Birth Experience

Feb16

There are four factors that research have found to make the greatest contribution to your degree of satisfaction with your birth experience (experience or not of pain isn’t one of them!):

Having good support from caregivers.
Having a high quality relationship with caregivers.
Being involved with decision making about care.
Having better than expected experiences (or having high expectations).

According to additional research, pain relief only becomes important in relationship to level of satisfaction when expectations are NOT met (so, if you planned for a epidural and didn’t have time to get one, or you expected to cope differently with pain than you did, and so forth).

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When reflecting on these things based on my personal experiences, they seem completely appropriate (including the experience or not of pain–my sense of satisfaction with my own birth experiences has nothing to do with how much or how little pain I experienced or how I interpreted my sensations as painful or not. With both my babies, I had a high level of satisfaction with my birth experiences and in both I had a high quality relationship with my caregivers (family practice physician with the first baby and midwife with the second). During both labors I had very excellent support from my husband (the professional caregivers had little involvement with either of my births). He was so present for me and so able to provide what I needed that I had a sense of us being like one person during labor. Decision making about care also came into play with my satisfaction level. with my second baby particularly, I was completely in control. No one else made decisions about my care. So, it was much more than “involvement in” decision making, but for me, an important component of satisfaction was total control of decision making.

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Finally, I totally identify with the “better than expected experiences.” With my first baby, I was stunned and very pleasantly surprised to arrive at the birth center fully dilated. I had expected to labor for an additional 10 hours or so at the birth center (I was in labor for about 11 when we got there). With my second baby, I was again stunned and also pleasantly surprised to be in labor for a total of 2 hours. While I felt a bit “run over by a truck” by the speed and the intensity of the second labor, I was delighted to have such a quick birth. It was great.

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I also started thinking about what else, personally, would be on my list of things contributing to satisfaction with my birth experiences and I think location is a big one for me. Being in an environment of my choosing and in which I felt safe, comfortable, and respected was very important to my feelings of satisfaction. My second baby was born at home and that was very satisfying to me. I’m sure there are other things that were important, but I can’t think of anything specific right now.

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How about you? What contributed to your feelings of satisfaction (or not) with your birth experience(s)?