Fear Release for Birth

Aug15

I want to share a fear release exercise that I’ve used several times at Blessingways for pregnant friends. I got the idea from The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book and then modified the wording slightly. I think it is a powerful exercise to do in a group. We circle around the pregnant woman holding hands and then read the following together:

There goes all fear you hold about giving birth. The birth will be perfect.

There goes all fear you hold about healing. You will heal beautifully

There goes all fear you hold about not being a good mother. You will be enough.

There goes all fear of never being creative again. You have a deep well of creativity within your soul.

There goes the deepest, most private fears you have about giving birth. You will be enough.

You will be enough. You are strong enough.

—–

Depending on the setting, I’ve also changed the word birth in the second-to-last-line to “life” instead.

I have written several other posts about fear and birth.

I also use this handout in my classes when talking about fear: Tracking Your Tigers, Effects of Fear on Labor.

Comfort Measures Illustrations

Aug8

We spend a lot of time in my classes talking about different comfort measures for birth. In fact, one of my most popular classes is my “Labor Support and Comfort Measures” single session class in which we practice all kinds of different skills that may be of use for birthing.

I enjoy Childbirth Connection’s free pdf booklet “Comfort in Labor” and use this as a class resource. Very recently, they added a new section to their website with lots of helpful, line drawing illustrations for Comfort Measures During Labor. The illustrations are the same as in the booklet, but presented on one page without a lot of accompanying text—great for visual learners!

As I’ve referenced before, the Transition to Parenthood website also has a helpful section of comfort measures illustrations available to birth educators.

Even if it might feel silly, I encourage people to print out the images and physically practice the techniques illustrated a couple of times—this helps develop a “body memory” so that when you are actually in labor different labor-beneficial positions feel comfortable and familiar. Also, it helps for the birth partner to have a body memory as well to help reinforce healthy positions or suggest fresh ideas.

Birth Quotes

Jul29

I’ve been periodically posting various birth quotes to my Talk Birth Facebook page. Then, I realized I should also be collecting them into a post where they will last a little longer and be enjoyed by more people! I think I will just keep updating this post as I add quotes, but I may make multiple shorter posts or otherwise sub-categorize them to make them easier to follow.

“…labor is not about dilation. Your body knows how to give birth whether or not you ever have a pelvic exam during labor. Birthing women need encouragement to trust their bodies, and to be the stars of their own labors…”

The Doula Guide to Birth

—

“The empowerment of laboring women, not the management of childbirth by means of painkillers, leads to satisfactory birth experiences.”

Research conclusion by Belgian scientists in 2007

I received a comment on this quote that is very true: “Satisfactory is the wrong word. Spiritual, beautiful, peaceful, wonderful, mind blowing, amazing, phenomenal…. any of those would be better!” My response is Absolutely! I would say powerful, transformative, beautiful, and empowering 🙂

—

“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.”

Everyday Blessings

—

“The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power.”

Heather McCue

—

“You will find it incredible that labor gets stronger and stronger–and you do, too.”

The Doula Guide to Birth

—

“You do not have to be a particularly strong or brave or relaxed woman to get through labor. You just need to be a woman.”

The Big Book of Birth

—

“It is not ‘ladylike’ to give birth. The strength and power of labor is not demure.”

An Easier Childbirth (quoting a midwife)

—

“Women are strong, strong, terribly strong. We don’t know how strong until we’re pushing out our babies.”

Louise Erdrich, The Blue Jay’s Dance

—

“Women around the world and throughout time have known how to take care of each other in birth. They’ve shown each other the best positions for comfort in labor, they’ve used nurturing touch and repeated soothing words, and they’ve literally held each other up when it’s needed the most…”

The Doula Guide to Birth

—

“Education for birth consists not, as some would have it, of ‘conditioning,’ but aims at giving a woman the means by which she can express her own personality creatively in childbirth.”

Sheila Kitzinger

—

“A self-determined birth is a potent symbol of womanly power, of human courage, of loving compassion, even of ecological holism. It may look like childbirth educators are just showing charts and teaching relaxation, but we are also helping to create a gentle atmosphere in which personal and cultural transformation can take place.”

ALACE CBE Manual

Birth & Courage

Jul27

I wrote previously about when birth doesn’t go as planned and shared my perspective that a cesarean is often an act of personal courage by the birthing woman. I’ve been reading the new book The Doula Guide to Birth and the authors make similar comments:

“Remember, you are still giving birth to your baby. It takes courage to give birth whether interventions are used or not.”

And

“Whatever way birth happens, it is your rite of passage into motherhood, and that passage is to be celebrated. Natural childbirth is a passage, cesarean birth is a passage, and birth with an epidural is a passage to be celebrated. That passage cannot be taken away from you. Every mother’s birth experience is valid, and an act of courage.” (emphasis mine)

Another good quote from the book is with regard to vaginal exams during labor and whether they are necessary or not (they’re not!):

“Although there is currently a heavy emphasis on dilation, vaginal exams, and timelines for giving birth, labor is not about dilation. Your body knows how to give birth whether or not you ever have a pelvic exam during labor. Birthing women need encouragement to trust their bodies, and to be the stars of their own labors. Doulas help provide this encouragement. And the confidence a woman discovers in labor can help carry her through the demands of parenting and future challenges in life.” (emphasis mine)

Birthing Poem

Jul19

the woman speaks of birthing
After Langston Hughes’s The Negro Speaks of Rivers

I’ve known birthing
Before creation
And older than the labor of mankind
My womb is the mother of life
I carried Adam when seeds
In the garden were gestating
I pushed the head of Cronos from
Between my legs and swaddled
Him in the sands of time
I was midwife to the moon and
Made her crib in my lodge
I wailed with Demeter’s chorus
When armies stole children
Killed the land
And I’ve seen her barren lap
Turn poppy red with birth
In the spring
I’ve known birthing
Before god became a man

by Margaret Arabella Kenney

From Mothering Magazine (pg. 58, Sept-Oct 2008). I love to read this poem aloud at Blessingways. I thnk it is very powerful.

Recent Publications

Jul17

This has been quite a month for me for publications!

My short article Centering for Birth was published in the International Journal of Childbirth Education (page 20)

My book review of Fathers at Birth was published in The CAPPA Quarterly (page 14).

My film review of Birth as We Know It was in The CAPPA Quarterly (page 15).

And, my piece of creative nonfiction Nursing Johnny Depp was published in Literary Mama.

I’m excited about all of these! 🙂

Active Birth Video

Jul13

Lamaze and Injoy videos have teamed up on a nice new website called Mother’s Advocate. The site has a variety of handouts and a booklet to download based on “6 Healthy Birth Practices” (which, in and of themselves form a nice little birth plan for a normal, healthy birth!). I especially enjoyed their video on active birth: “get upright and follow urges to push.” The video urges upright birthing positions and avoidance of directed/forceful pushing (the kind with counting that you see so often on tv!).

Two More Birth Transformation Quotes

Jul6

“Birth is a time of deep transformation. We enter labor with excitement, trepidation and sometimes fear. We emerge with power, confidence and love.”

–Toni Lee Rakestraw, Organic Birth

“Ideally, giving birth is a natural and joyful experience, a holy event in which the energies of creation and transformation can be shared by all who are present.”

–Rahima Baldwin, Special Delivery

Why I do what I do…

Jul4

I was feeling a little nostalgic this evening going through my childbirth education training manual. My original certifying organization, ALACE, is undergoing some reorganization and a “rebirth” into two new organizations. So, I was thinking back to my beginnings with the program and how excited I was about it and what an absolutely perfect match it was for me philosophically. I came across this section in the beginning part of the manual and thought about how perfectly it sums up why I do what I do. It also sums up the attitude and perspective that drew me so strongly to ALACE in the first place:

“Do you ever wonder why you are drawn to childbirth education when there are so many other pressing environmental/social/political causes clamoring for your devoted service? Perhaps you already see how our work is related to many other forms of activism. Cultivating respect for the mother and the process of birth is part of the larger process of understanding the interdependent patterns of nature…Giving birth, knowing you have done it yourself, your way, is a rebellious act in our technocratic society. In an age that promises to fix technology’s side effects with more technology, it is an act of faith in nature, and in oneself. The people who choose this route are often the same people whose hope for the future inspires them to work for a better world, not just for themselves, but for everyone.”

“A self-determined birth is a potent symbol of womanly power, of human courage, of loving compassion, even of ecological holism. It may look like childbirth educators are just showing charts and teaching relaxation, but we are also helping to create a gentle atmosphere in which personal and cultural transformation can take place.” (emphasis mine)

Empowering Women, Transforming Birth

When birth doesn’t go as planned…

Jul3

Some time ago I was talking to a mother whose birth hadn’t gone as planned. She said that she knew that she needed a cesarean, but that she also knew she had missed out on a “very cool experience in life.” I think it is definitely possible to accept the need for a cesarean, while still honoring/recognizing the profound experience of giving birth vaginally. I also think it is possible to acknowledge the magnitude of becoming a mother, regardless of the what happened with the birth–having a baby is a big deal no matter what! Though I’m obviously a huge advocate of natural childbirth, I truly believe that cesareans are often an act of personal courage. I also think that all births are rites of passage and are profound transformations and initiations into motherhood. So, though while some women may have missed out on the sense of personal power that often accompanies a natural birth, they’ve all taken significant and meaningful journeys of their own.

Then, I came across a poem by an anonymous writer in the book Open Season. It reminded me in part of my thoughts above.

For Those of Us Who “Failed”

And what about us who “failed”?

The ones whose birthings were not the finest hour

of their womanhood?

The ones who did not defy all medical intervention?

Those who have no heroic defiant story to tell?

Where do we fit in?

We can’t all be the ones that change the system,

but are we less a part of the sisterhood of those

who have given birth?

To those that have shone at the hours of birth

remember those of us who have not.

Will we, like the Vietnam vets, be recognized

too little and too late?

We experienced giving birth too.

Less nobly than some maybe,

but a noble experience nonetheless.

You say you honor choices.

Can you really honor mine?

I will always honor the process which

brought forth flesh of my flesh.

I honor your births too.

Can you ever honor my experience, or will I

forever be a part of your statistics on

the way things shouldn’t be?

Remember me.