Birth as a Rite of Passage

Apr11

Part of my philosophy of birth is that it is a significant rite of passage for women, men, and families, not a medical event, emergency, or health crisis. I recently finished working through The Pink Kit and the little book that came with it had some thoughts to share on this subject in the “final word” segment of the book:

We would like to warn you against expecting a ‘perfect birth,’ or for that matter anything in particular, except that you will get through it, with your baby–just about everyone does, no matter what they know and do!

The fact is, there is no such a thing as a ‘perfect life.’ Think about what life passages you may have undergone so far–cutting teeth, starting school, menstruation, the first sexual experience, loved ones dying.

Birthing is also a rite of passage–into parenthood–and like any other passage, it comes upon us and we just have to deal with it. It’s an awe-inspiring experience, and it would be perfectly natural to want to prepare in some way. And you can do that. But to some extent the experience is still out of your control.

Giving birth is definitely the most significant and impactful rite of passage of my life–it is the the gateway to motherhood, which has been the single most life-changing role I’ve had. I believe that this significant, transitional, rite of passage is worthy of appropriate level of awe, respect, and preparation. It is a sacred passage. Accordingly, I also believe the birthing woman should be treated with reverence and respect.

For Labor Support Remember TLC or BLT

Apr10

When supporting a woman in labor, remember to use “TLC”:

Touch–this can be massage, hand-holding, foot rubs, stroking her hair, and encouraging frequent position changes. It also includes the use of water (hydrotherapy).

Listen–this is half of the emotional support in labor. Listening builds trust and meets emotional needs. Use active(reflective) listening and lots of encouragement.

Communication–there are two types in labor. One is information sharing–about her progress, her choices, ideas of things to try, interventions, complications. The second is mediation with hospital staff–this can involve reminders about mother’s wishes, and assertiveness about care.

Or, you can use “BLT”:

Breath–remind her to breathe if she is holding her breath. Model a “cleansing breath” if she is stressed. In through the nose and out through the mouth (like a sigh) can be helpful.

Language–this can be mind-body communication, internal conversation, or verbally telling, showing, or modeling (body language).

Touch–as discussed above. Large muscle massage or firm pressure usually feels better to the laboring woman than light patting, stroking, or “tickling” at the skin or clothing level of her body.

Material on TLC is drawn from the International Journal of Childbirth Education, June 1998. Material on BLT from The Pink Kit–New Focus: Breath, Language, and Touch.

Feeling Powerful

Apr9

As I’ve mentioned before, I love collecting quotes about birth. This is a great one about power and birth from Christiane Northrup:

“Imagine what might happen if the majority of women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of the strength and power of their bodies and their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth. When enough women realize that birth is a time of great opportunity to get in touch with their true power, and then they are willing to assume responsibility for this, we will reclaim the power of birth and help move technology where it belongs–-in the service of birthing women, not as their master.”

—Christiane Northrup MD

I found this on the Birthing Utopia blog.

On an unrelated note, I absolutely LOVE the glass pendants available from Family Tree Glass. I bought several of the birthy belly pendants at the LLLI conference in Chicago in 2007. Since then, the artist has started making wonderful family pendants and also slinging mama pendants that are just phenomenally beautiful. I love them so much. My birthday is coming up. Perhaps my husband will read this and take a hint…;-)

Birth Center

Apr8

There is one freestanding birth center in Missouri. It is about 1.5 hours from Rolla in Columbia. Though it can be a challenge to ride in a car while in labor, I have had quite a few clients who have chosen to birth their babies at this wonderful birth center. My own first baby was born there in 2003 (though, at the time, I lived in Jefferson City, so it was only a 30 minute drive for me).

The birth center is called Columbia Community Birth Center. Phone (573) 447-2700 or visit their website. Phenomenal women. Wonderful place.

What to say to a woman in labor?

Mar30

I always encourage support people to speak from their hearts when being with a woman in birth–your words mean a lot when they are authentic to you! However, I also realize people would like a “head start” on some good things to say. While all women are different and have different preferences, my observation is that praise and love are good sentiments to express–“you’re doing so well, ” “you’re so beautiful,” “you’re so strong,” “I love you,” you’re amazing”–those kinds of things.

I recently came across this section in the Birthing From Within Keepsake Journal that gives some other ideas of phrases to get you started:

Soften around the pain (or pressure/contraction/fear)

You are stronger than the pain

Keep going

You ARE doing it

I love you

Breathe into it

See your cervix opening

I prefer “you are so strong” to the “you are stronger than the pain” suggestion. “You ARE doing it” is a very helpful response to the comments women sometimes make during labor such as “I can’t do this.”

Pain, Power, & Accomplishment

Mar21

I love this section from Giving Birth with Confidence (Lamaze). It explores the role of pain in labor and its relationship to personal power and accomplishment:

The pain of labor, like most pain, is protective. Responding to pain with movement, including walking, rocking, and position changes, not only helps the baby rotate and descend through the pelvis, but also protects a woman’s body during the process. As the cervix stretches and dilates, oxytocin levels increase, and contractions strengthen and become more effective. As pain increases, endorphins are released that help women cope with the demands of the stronger contraction and the descent of the baby. Actively responding to the pain..then not only promotes comfort but promotes the progress of labor…Because the pain of labor is not associated with trauma, but is a part of a normal, physiologic process, it is sometimes compared to the pain associated with other challenging physical activities. Those who push themselves to climb the last hill, cross the finish line, or conquer a challenging dance routine often report feelings of euphoria and increased self-esteem. Researchers have found that women who experience natural birth often describe similar feelings of exaltation and increased self-esteem. These feelings of accomplishment, confidence, and strength have the potential to transform women’s lives. In many cultures, the runner who completes a long race is admired, but it is not acknowledged that laboring women may experience the same life-altering feelings. [Birth classes] help each woman find ways to meet the challenges of birth confidently and purposefully, and to discover her strength in birth.

The above explains very well why it is that I do what I do–I want each woman to have the chance to experience that transforming power, that sense of personal accomplishment, the increased self-esteem, and the euphoria of knowing “I did it!” I climbed my mountain, I ran my marathon…I gave birth to MY BABY!

Comfort Measures & Labor Support Strategies

Mar14

From the book Special Women by Polly Perez. I thought this was a helpful, quick review of things to try when assisting a woman in labor:

“When assessing labor pain consider the following:

Remember ‘When in doubt check it out.’

Ask the mother the following questions.

What’s going through your mind

Is there something you are afraid of?

What do you think will help?

Tell me how you feel.

Encourage the mother to empty her bladder hourly.

Make sure the mother remains well hydrated.

Encourage the mother to relax her voluntary muscles in her buttocks, thighs, abdomen, and pelvic floor.”

Also consider trying these positions during birth:

standing

swaying

lunge

squat

kneeling

leaning

side-lying

slow-dancing

hands and knees

rocking

sitting

dangle

supported squat

sitting on a birth ball

Birth & Apples

Mar10

What does birth have to do with apples? Well, I read two things this week that made me think of both apples and birth. First, in an Ode magazine editorial that was about “apples and entrepreneurs.” The editor introduced me to the word “pleonasms” –used to refer to words that contain unnecessary repetition. He was discussing apples, “after all, what’s an apple that grows without chemicals? It’s just an apple. If any kind of apple needs a modifier, it’s the kind that isn’t grown organically. Those we should call ‘chemical apples'” (instead of labeling the other an “organic apple”). Of course, I immediately thought of birth. I was considering how we have to use the terms “natural birth,” “normal birth,” “organic birth,” “physiological birth,” “unmedicated birth” and more. Taking a cue from this Ode editorial, what is a birth that isn’t interfered with? Just a birth. In theory, the other phrases we use are pleonasms like “organic apple.” (Same with “breastmilk,” actually. Our own species-specific milk should not need a modifier…)

Still related to apples and birth, but moving into another area, I have a particular interest in “good birth experiences” and how mothers tend to get very valid and real emotions dismissed with comments such as “at least you have a healthy baby.” Or, they face insinuations that they are “selfish” for caring about a good birth experience (the assumption being she somehow cares more about “the experience” than “the healthy baby”). I have already explored this subject in an article for the International Journal of Childbirth Education in Sept. 2008 and also in this post, but I loved this explanation in The Big Book of Birth when addressing disappointment over having a cesarean birth: “…in cases where a mother feels disappointment because the birth didn’t go as hoped, it is like saying to her, Well, at least you got a healthy baby and dismissing any other emotions or experience. It is not helpful because the expectation was not to not have a healthy baby–the expectation was to have a vaginal birth. It is comparing apples to oranges since there were two separate individual hopes: one the joy of a baby, the other her experience of bringing that baby into the world. The apple being the healthy baby we all want and usually bear, the orange being what we hope for in our trials and tribulations on the way there.” (Or, the orange being our “good birth experience.”)

More About the Three P’s of Birth

Mar7

Some time ago I wrote a post about the commonly used “three P’s” of birth. The P’s most often referred to are the Powers (contractions), the Passage (pelvis and soft tissues), and the Passenger (the baby). In my post The Three P’s I came up with some different P’s that could be used instead–both P’s that help and P’s that hinder birth. In reading The Big Book of Birth recently, I came across another section about the three P’s. She uses: Patience, Practitioner, and Partner as the three things we need in labor:

“Everyone involved in labor needs a lot of patience….Partners need to stay focused on the laboring woman and often need just as much assurance that things are going well…Practitioners need patience because every woman’s body does this ever so slightly differently…”

She goes on to explore the role of the Practitioner and how while the primary role is clinical care for mother and baby, women “also need respect and reassuring language for their body and their experience. This has a profound impact on how we experience labor. If we feel undermined, ignored, violated, discouraged, condescended to, or made to feel stupid or as if we have not been acting in the interest of our baby…this tends to skew our entire perception of the day our child is born.”

Similar to posts I have made before about the role of fathers at birth, she emphasizes that the role of the Partner is important primarily because “our partners…[who] know us so well, are often the most valuable person in the room when it comes to ‘being there’ for us.”