Practice Contractions & Practice Breathing…

32 weeks

Happy Thanksgiving! I have two things that I’ve been meaning to write about lately. One is practice contractions—I’ve always been prone to having a lot of warm-up contractions throughout my pregnancies. Sometimes called Braxton-Hicks contractions, I prefer to call them practice contractions, warm-up contractions, toning contractions, or—as you get closer to your due date—pre-labor contractions. I start being able to feel them pretty much as soon as my uterus rises out from below my pubic bone. During my first pregnancy, I got worried about preterm labor at about 22 weeks pregnant, because I was experiencing so many of them at that time. Later, I became concerned because they were lasting 10 minutes at a time, which seemed really unusual to me. My doctor at the time had no explanation as to why that was happening or suggestions to change it other than to take extra calcium. These uber-long contractions have never happened during another pregnancy, but having quite a few practice contractions seems to be my normal pattern. I also have wondered if they are related to drinking raspberry leaf tea. I drank it throughout my first two pregnancies. During this one, I decided not to drink it until the third trimester. I haven’t noticed any appreciable difference in contraction-action, however.

Towards the end of pregnancy, I have about four contractions per hour for the last month or so. I counted recently and right now, I’m only having about 20 per day (while I’m awake). That is still a nice lot of practice! I seem to have very efficient birthings and I have always wondered if there is a relationship between all this warm-up and the real thing! However, from most of my reading there does not actually seem to be any measurable relationship between amount of (discernable) contractions during pregnancy and actual length of labor (and, besides, the theory is that all women experience regular contractions throughout pregnancy and just don’t necessarily notice them, though I always wonder why not!). I’ve wondered for some time though about the various clients I’ve had who report that they have experienced no discernable practice contractions and have had very long labors.

My post about in-utero practice breathing during my first pregnancy has received more hits on this blog than almost anything else. Apparently, it is not an often written about experience and a lot of women appear to have found comfort in my post about it. In the last week or so, I’ve noticed Baby Girl practicing breathing as well! I don’t have a strong recollection of experiencing this with my second son. With my first son, it was one of the most interesting things about the pregnancy. With her, I notice it at night primarily for a regular period of time which is then followed by her having hiccups (from all her hard work!). 🙂

More Birth Art!

Nov22

On Saturday, I became inspired to create some new birth art and worked on it rather than the other work that was on my list.

I wanted to make a “womb labyrinth” finger labyrinth and after some experimentation and a LOT of time, I made this one, using a drawing I previously created as my model:

This was my original drawing from 2007 on which I based the clay design:

Since I had the polymer clay out, I couldn’t resist making another one of my birth goddess sculptures. This one I colored using gold pigment and she looks very royal. I feel like making these sculptures has helped me integrate “pregnant woman” back into my identity and I really like this one in particular:

And, here is a picture of the two together—a nice day’s work if I do say so myself 🙂 And, more consistent with my “savoring” and self-care goals than some of the other things that I had on my list for the day (but hey, write two book reviews was on there and I did that too!)

On Sunday, my inspiration continued and I made another womb labyrinth that I like better than the first one:

I also experimented and made a different type that turned out pretty neat too:

Book Review: Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth

Nov20

Book Review: Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth: Making Informed Decisions
By Nicette Jukelevics
Praeger Publishers, 2008
ISBN 978-0-275-99906-3
264 pages, hardback, $49.95 (or $40.96 via http://www.icea.org)
http://www.dangersofcesareanbirth.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

Intended to be a comprehensive resource for both consumers and birth professionals, Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth is an in-depth look at the incidence and impact of cesarean birth on mothers, babies, families, and society as well as an overview of prevention strategies. The final section of the book is about “why normal birth matters” and addresses changing the status quo. The Midwives Model of Care is reflected and promoted during the book and doulas also receive strong support.

I have two primary opinions of the book: The first is that I truly believe that Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth should become the “go to” book for current, evidence-based, thorough information about cesarean birth in the U.S. It is a treasure trove of information and any birth professional would be well advised to have a copy on their bookshelf. The second opinion is that the “heavy” subject, extremely in-depth information, academic writing style, and relatively high price, will likely keep this book out of the hands out of its primary intended audience—the consumer. The person who most needs to read this book is the first-time pregnant woman. However, the entire time I was reading it, I kept thinking that there was only a slim likelihood of the average first-time mother being attracted to, or actually picking up this book, to read.

Mothers planning VBACs or seeking to understand their own cesarean birth experiences will probably find Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth to be a valuable resource. Birth activists will find clearly articulated and important information that they will wish to shout to the rooftops and I think that this is how the content in Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth has the best chance of truly reaching the women who need to hear its message.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: The Joy of Pregnancy

Nov20

Book Review: The Joy of Pregnancy: The Complete, Candid, and Reassuring Companion for Parents-to-Be
By Tori Kropp, RN
Harvard Common Press, 2008
ISBN 978-155832306-3
412 pages, paperback, $14.95
http://www.thejoyofpregnancy.com/

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

“One of the most important things I have learned about birthing babies is that the process is more of an unfolding marvel than a routine progression of events.” –Tori Kropp

Written by a nurse in a refreshingly positive tone, The Joy of Pregnancy is a basic guide to pregnancy and birth, intended primarily for first time parents. Not only does it cover month-by-month fetal and maternal developments during pregnancy, it includes information about labor and birth, preparing for postpartum, breastfeeding, and the first days of parenting. There is a conventional emphasis on “asking your care provider” rather than a consumer-oriented approach to making your own best decisions. Something unique and valuable about the book is that each section contains information specifically for women expecting twins or other multiples. This content is inset into boxes, but it is the first pregnancy book I’ve read where information for mothers of multiples is integrated into the main body of the text, rather than being relegated to special section or chapter. Specific “Dad’s Corner” sections in most chapters are another nicely integrated feature of the book.

Overall, the information contained in the Joy of Pregnancy is fairly conservative and standard, though as I noted, presented primarily in a positive and upbeat way rather than a fear or complication based way. Doulas, postpartum doulas, and midwives all receive casual mention and are presented as “normal,” rather than “fringe” options. Birth centers and homebirths are briefly included in the section on choosing a birth setting. Parents who are looking for a complete guide to pregnancy that reassures and comforts, rather than produces self-doubt, will find The Joy of Pregnancy a nice alternative. The book is also currently available as a free ebook via http://www.thejoyofpregnancy.com/free/, which is a great bonus!

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Breastfeeding, Bonding, and Being a Magic Mama

Nov17

Today, I was catching up with some old issues of New Beginnings magazine (LLLI’s publication) and one of the snapshots of a mama and her toddler nursling brought unexpected tears to my eyes. I am so, so excited to get to have a breastfeeding relationship again! Seeing that picture brought this intense body memory of looking down at my nursing babies and seeing that total and complete contentment on their faces—the way their whole bodies relax and become peaceful at the breast after experiencing the stresses of life as a toddler. It is gorgeous, beautiful, precious and irreplaceable. And, it slips away and before you know it another “normal” has taken its place—breastfeeding was such an integral part of my life for so long, it is startling to realize that it has been an entire year now since I’ve nursed anyone. And, also startling is that I only think about it rarely—the boys I have now have thoroughly replaced those nursling boys. Those tears sprang up from the past joy I have experienced and the anticipatory joy of having one more chance to do this again! I realized after this experience and after writing my last post that in the last couple of days I’ve become bogged down by the “bondage” a new baby brings rather than the bonding that it also brings. (It is realistic to prepare for both! ;)) I feel so lucky, happy, and thrilled to have a new baby again.

During this pregnancy I have not participated regularly in any kind of “due date club” message boards or anything like that, but I do occasionally peek it at one of them and was surprised to see the January mamas there all talking about how done they are with being pregnant and how ready they are to have their babies. Me, I feel like I’m just hitting my stride with being pregnant and cannot imagine being ready to be done yet—this is the great part: the looking nice and pregnant, the enthusiastic baby wiggles, feeling her hiccup, the anticipation of celebratory activities like getting pregnancy pictures taken, making a belly cast, and having a blessingway, the planning for her birth. Despite the fear and anxiety of this pregnancy, I love being pregnant. I adore it. I have never felt more magic or more special than I do as a pregnant woman. I know one should never say never, but I do not anticipate ever being pregnant again and I cannot imagine wishing this “magic mama” feeling away one second before she is ready to be born! It is the best 🙂

Here are some comparison belly pictures:

32 weeks pregnant with number 1

30 weeks with number 2

30 weeks pregnant with Baby Girl

In my 31 weeks pregnancy newsletter from Mothering, there was a neat exercise about painting your fears away. I love the use of art during pregnancy and I thought it was a good idea.

Giveaway: Great Gals Book/Journal

Nov17

This giveaway is now closed. The winners were Jodi and enjoybirth!

GREAT GALS: Inspired Ideas for Living a Kick-Ass Life by cartoonist Summer Pierre is a creative and fun combination of journal prompts, journal pages, quick quizzes, inspirational quotes, black and white art, and mini-bios of dozens of amazing women, both past and present. You can use the book for journaling, doodling, exploring your creativity and your thoughts, but you can also use it for a quick dose of women’s wisdom and inspiration. The women profiled range from Cyndi Lauper to Lucille Ball to Emily Dickinson to Ani DiFranco to Julia Child making this book just plain awesome. As the press info notes, this is NOT “your typical inspirational women’s journal”—the goal is empowerment and honest, assertive self-exploration. It would make a fun holiday gift for any woman, young or old, who is interested in living a powerful life.

Luckily for you, I am able to offer TWO copies of Great Gals as a giveaway this month! To enter, just leave a comment telling me which woman in the world—past or present—you find the most inspirational. I will draw winners via random number generator next Wednesday at 9:00. For an extra entry, you can share this giveaway via Facebook and then post a separate comment letting me know you did so.

You can watch a trailer for Great Gals here and you can check in with the author/illustrator via her website.

Kids & Plans

Nov16

My kids have always had fairly high touch needs and since they’ve been sick recently that been even more clingy/touchy than usual. Their preferred state would be to hang out like this for much of the day:

They of course wiggle and pinch each other’s noses, etc. and do not lie there quietly, but their preferred location is still actually to be ON my body…

This has been kind of exhausting lately as well as almost literally suffocating. I enjoy snuggling with my kids, but they often manage to do it in the least nurturing way possible! I’ve been getting a little stressed thinking about the addition of someone else’s attention needs to the family—this is a good thing though, really. Before, I used to not really be sure I was actually going to have a living baby at the end of this pregnancy, so I didn’t give a huge amount of thought to integrating her into our lives (it was the “if” thing). The pendulum has been shifting for some time from “if” to WHEN, and now that I’ve hit 30 weeks, I feel even more confident every day that someone new will indeed be joining our family in January. Thus, the time for getting realistic and practical and planning ahead for the changes she will bring is NOW…

So, I had a semi-neurotic freak-out this evening about how I will possibly manage to split my attention any further, etc., etc. It was a long, tiring day in general and my mood-odometer was on “depleted.” After some talking with my husband, I regained much of my equilibrium and we made some plans for making some more changes around the house (like his putting the kids to bed more often—things like that). I am still having “can’t say no” issues and spent more time today thinking about/doing something I should have said no to as well as NOT doing things that I “really want to do…” Same old, same old. Do I really need to write another post about it?! 😉 No.

So, back to the “plans” part of my subject today, I’ve collected quite an assortment of certifications in my 5.5 years in birth work and you would think I would not need another (I don’t think I ever even mentioned that I finished my ICEA Prenatal Fitness Educator certification two months ago!). I occasionally toy with the notion of sitting for the IBCLC exam—the criteria keep changing and each year I think that maybe I should do it. But, then I realize that I’m not really interested in professional LC work. I’ll stick to my mother-to-mother support and don’t need to go further. I have also briefly wondered if I’ve heard a “call” to midwifery (it seems like many doulas and CBE’s have “midwife” as the eventual destination in their birthwork path), but then quickly remembered that I have serious “blood” issues and doubt I could actually handle the nitty-gritty of midwifery. So, I’ve concluded that birth educator really is the right place for me. However, I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with over a year with my outlet for this work—something has been missing for me and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but I think (as I have previously written) it is to go deeper. When I read information about Birthing from Within trainings or re-read the book (6 times so far) or read Pam’s blog, I know somewhere deep in my heart that I am meant for Birthing from Within. And, some day, I am actually going to manage to attend a training. I’ve had it in my heart since I was pregnant with Lann in 2003, but so many things always made more “sense” or were more “convenient,” so I always did those instead. It will probably take another three years or so before I can actually do it, but I’m really going to do it eventually. Just felt like making note of that commitment to myself in a public way!

And, continuing with my sort of rambling, not that on-topic way, Mark got his faceting machine recently and faceted one of the quartz crystals that we collected on our recent trip to AR:

I was pretty impressed! He is really good at saying, “I think I’d like to try that” and then reading about it, getting some equipment and doing it (whatever it is) with pretty pro results 🙂

More About Self-Care

Nov15

I recently shared a little about my desire to step up my self-care/self-nurturing at this point in my life and some time ago I shared a guest post from Renée Trudeau about balanced living and saying no (I need to re-read this!). I greatly enjoy Renée’s free monthly self-care teleclasses based on her book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal–-somehow, they always contain exactly what it is I need to hear at that moment. Anyway, I’m pleased to have another guest post to share from Renée today.

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Self-Care: My Best Friend

by Renée Trudeau

Recently, I spoke to a wonderful group of about fifty women in their 30s-50s from the National Charity League about the Power of Self-Care. It’s a really cool group of mothers and daughters who work together to support their communities through various social service projects.

When I asked how many women in the room were familiar with the concept of self-care (read more from my newsletter on this topic), only one woman raised her hand.

As much as I want to believe that this concept—which has been popularized by self-care advocates Jennifer Louden, and Cheryl Richardson in the 80s and 90s—has become mainstream, I was reminded that we still have a long way to go before people believe that it’s not only our birthright to nurture and nourish ourselves, it’s our responsibility to do so.

When I was first introduced to the concept of self-care: taking time to fill my cup first, before helping others, it seemed strange and foreign. Almost like something else to put on my “to do” list. But as I started to slow down and practice more self-acceptance, release a lot of my controlling behavior and perfectionism, begin to really listen to my body and spirit and enjoy spending time with my sweet self, my life began to change radically.

I felt like I had come home. Like this was *really* the way we are supposed to live.

I now realize that being open to and ultimately, embracing self-care was the single biggest thing I have ever done to positively and profoundly change my life.

And the journey keeps shifting and changing. You don’t “get it” and you’re done. It keeps evolving and unfolding. And the more you love and accept yourself, the more in touch with your physical/emotional/spiritual needs you become.

I often have moments in my life when I pause and realize how drastically different my days are now than they were ten years ago (before self-care).

I used to push myself really hard. I used to barrel through to-do lists (I was a master at efficiency and took pride at how much I used to be able to get done—anyone relate?). I was way too focused on “doing” and not very focused on “being.”

The other day, I had a challenging day emotionally and a lot on my plate. Realizing this, I went to a noon yoga class instead of an intense early morning weights class. I made sure I ate foods that made me feel great. I let some things go, so I could take a short rest before my speaking engagement last night. And, since I didn’t have much time to prepare before this event, I allowed myself to deliver a ‘good is good enough” speech, knowing that there wouldn’t be much time to prepare for the talk (which by the way, received rave reviews).

During stressful times—like the current economic crisis our nation is experiencing—it’s more important than ever to take time to nurture ourselves. (Read my latest Career Management Newsletter on tips on navigating your career/life during uncertain times.)

I received two calls from national companies recently to speak to their employees about balance/self-renewal.
I think we’re all starting to get that when our environment and things around us get really crazy, we have nowhere else to go, but within.

Baby steps. I’ve been working on my self-care practice for 9 years. And, I still have a long way to go.

BIO:
Renée Peterson Trudeau is a nationally-recognized life balance expert/coach. Trudeau’s work has been featured in US News and World Report, Working Mother, American Way, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping and numerous business publications and consumer media. Trudeau is the author of the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Thousands of women around the U.S./Canada are starting and joining Personal Renewal Groups based on the Guide, as a way to enhance balance and well-being in their lives. Learn about her next free Live Inside Out teleclass or her upcoming self-renewal retreats at www.ReneeTrudeau.com/calendar.

Book Review: Optimal Birth: What, Why & How

Nov13

Book Review: Optimal Birth: What, Why & How
By Sylvie Donna
Fresh Heart, 2010
ISBN 9781906619138
670 pages, paperback, £24.99
http://www.freshheartpublishing.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

Written in an energetic and confident tone, Optimal Birth is written for midwives and other birth care providers and emphasizes undisturbed, natural birth. Throughout the text, a unique “birthframe” format is used to share birth wisdom in women’s own words. Donna is heavily influenced by the work of Michel Odent (he attended several of her births) and references him frequently. The author writes in a very straightforward manner and has extremely strong opinions as to what constitutes “undisturbed birth,” but these opinions are backed up with ample evidence-based information. The exquisite sensitivity of a birthing woman to her environment is of primary importance in the book and caregivers are strongly urged to take an extremely hands-off approach to care.

A lengthy volume, Optimal Birth is difficult to describe adequately in summary form—it contains extensive sections about physiological birth, birth interventions, the emotional impact of women’s experiences, prenatal care, and postpartum care. It also includes a week-by-week guide to pregnancy. There are a large number of black and white pictures and each section of the book contains a series of insightful questions designed to provoke self-discovery about physiological birth and the appropriate care of birthing women.

Readers unaccustomed to the midwives model of care or to the principles of undisturbed, physiological birth may find the book’s emphasis on non-intervention heavy-handed or one-sided. Considering that many manuals for care providers focus extensively on labor and birth “management,” personally I find the non-disturbance approach advised by Optimal Birth to be inspirational and encouraging as well as appropriate. As the author notes, “the processes of birth are so delicate that many things can disturb a laboring woman and consequently make her labor slower and more dangerous.”

An encouraging and informative companion book containing much of the same information but from a consumer perspective titled Preparing for a Healthy Birth is also available.

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Secrets of Confident Childbirth

Nov12

Book Review: Secrets of Confident Childbirth
By Vanessa Turner, Jackie Fletcher, Janay Alexander
HotHive Books, 2009
ISBN 978-1-906316-34-1
160 pages, paperback, £24.99
http://www.thebirthspecialists.com/book.html

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE
https://talkbirth.wordpress.com

“Your body is a complex work of art that functions perfectly” –The Birth Specialists

In an era when much pregnancy and birth literature seems to written in a “climate of doubt,” books like Secrets of Confident Childbirth offer a welcome and affirming alternate perspective—that of celebration and anticipation.

Accented with many beautiful, artistic photos of pregnant women, babies, and couples, Secrets of Confident Childbirth was written by a team of childbirth educators–“The Birth Specialists”–in the UK. The book emphasizes mind-body preparation for birth, with a special emphasis on hypnosis for childbirth as well as other methods of using the mind in a positive way to achieve healthy birth outcomes. The book includes information about the benefits of natural childbirth, prenatal bonding with your baby, the powerful impact of words and language on the birth experience, the role of hormones and the impact of fear, visualization, relaxation, pain management, labor positions, massage, and more. It also includes a brief section on birth planning and evidence-based care.

I do have a slight concern that the emphasis on “focus on what you want and you will achieve it” can possibly lead to self-blame or to “blaming the victim” if a woman’s birth does not work out the way she hopes and dreams. My observation about approaching birth with only “positive thinking” is that it can discount or undervalue the very critical role that the birth environment and the attitudes and fears of the others within that environment can have on the birthing woman’s experience and outcome. That said, I truly love the confident approach, affirming language, and positive attitude towards pregnancy and birth expressed in Secrets of Confident Childbirth. This book is a tremendous gift to the birth world!

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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.