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Book Review: I Can’t Wait to Meet You

Book Review: I Can’t Wait to Meet You: Understanding In Vitro Fertilization
By Claudia Santorelli-Bates

So No Wonder Publishing, 2010
ISBN 978-061531935-3
30 pages, hardcover, $15.99

www.icantwaittomeetyou.com/

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Written by a mother of three, I Can’t Wait to Meet You is a story book for children designed to explain in vitro fertilization (IVF) in simple terms. The American Society of Reproductive Medicine has an official position that children conceived via IVF have the right to “full disclosure” of their origins. I confess to wondering if by this logic all children have a right to “full disclosure” about their conception story (!), but, regardless, for children conceived via IVF, I Can’t Wait to Meet You makes the origin story easily accessible. (The author of the book has an article available explaining why disclosure is important available here.)

Colorful cartoon illustrations and basic language tell the story of a couple who longs to have a baby and eventually goes to a doctor for help. Eggs are taken from the mother and sperm from the father in hopes that they “like one another and become an embryo.” The illustrations are friendly, appealing, and fanciful (for example, the embryos are shown resting in little beds before being put back into the mother’s tummy).

The book ends with the couple pushing their toddler in a swing at the park and with the lovely affirmation, “you were so wanted and loved long before we met you.”

I Can’t Wait to Meet You would be a nice addition to the personal libraries of families who have struggled with infertility and who would like to share a piece of their journey with their own “little miracles.”

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers

Book Review: Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers
Platypus Media, 2009
ISBN 978-1-930775-49-7
40 pages, softcover, $7.95 (perfect bound); $5.95 (saddle-stitched)

www.platypusmedia.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Since partner support of a breastfeeding mother is one of the most important factors in breastfeeding success, the short book Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers is a valuable book indeed. Written in a clear, straightforward format, brief one-page sections address topics like, “why you want your baby breastfed,” “is formula really so bad,” “a happier, healthier mom,” “sex and the breastfeeding woman,” and “when breastfeeding is not advised.” There is also a brief segment about safe co-sleeping. These sections are followed by a brief FAQ addressing topics such as how often mom should breastfeed, how to know baby is getting enough milk, how long to breastfeed, nipple piercing, breast implants, alcohol, and breastfeeding in public.

As a quote in the book states, “Having a father is critical to the healthy development of a child. Being a father is critical to the healthy development of a man.” Providing breastfeeding information specific to fathers, Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers supports this healthy development of father, mother, and baby.

A Spanish edition, a low-literacy (abridged) version, an ebook edition, and a hospital edition (co-sleeping information omitted) of Breastfeeding Facts for Fathers are all available at various affordable prices from Platypus Media.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child’s First Year

Book Review: Mindful Motherhood: Practical Tools for Staying Sane During Pregnancy and Your Child’s First Year
By Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D.
New Harbinger, 2009
ISBN 978-061531935-3
200 pages, softcover, $16.95
www.mindfulmotherhood.org

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Written for pregnant women and for mothers embroiled in the intense rite of passage that is baby’s first year, Mindful Motherhood is a practical and simple guide to the practice of mindfulness during everyday life. “Mindfulness is moment-to-moment, nonjudgmental awareness of your present-moment experience…so that you can be connected to your baby even in times of distress, be less overwhelmed by distressing emotions and less caught up in negative thought patterns, and enjoy the simple pleasures that suffuse each day of being a mom.”

The book is composed of many small chapters each containing a 5-10 minute exercise readily incorporated into daily life with a baby. It also includes a line-drawing illustrated “mindful motherhood yoga series” of gentle, basic poses, which are an excellent prelude to meditation.

Mindful Motherhood is rooted in attentiveness to needs of the child, present moment awareness—whether comfortable or uncomfortable—and radical self-compassion. “Mindful motherhood, above all, is a way of approaching your experiences during pregnancy and early motherhood with gentleness and friendliness.” The author models this gentle and friendly approach throughout the accessible, supportive, and important guide. What a lovely gift for a woman approaching new motherhood, or for any mother seeking to explore present-moment awareness in everyday life!


Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Painless Childbirth: An Empowering Journey Through Pregnancy and Birth

Book Review: Painless Childbirth: An Empowering Journey Through Pregnancy and Birth

By Giuditta Tornetta
Cumberland House, 2008
ISBN 978-1-58182-640-1
320 pages, softcover, $16.95

http://joyinbirthing.com/

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Written by a mother of two who is also a doula, childbirth educator, hypnotherapist, Painless Childbirth takes the pregnant mother on a physical, mental, and spiritual journey from conception through postpartum. The text is interspersed with personal stories from the author’s own pregnancies and births as well as those of her doula clients.

A lot of people are initially skeptical of the phrase “painless childbirth” and I really loved the author’s description of what painless childbirth means: “When I say painless, please understand, I don’t mean you will not feel anything. What you will feel is a lot of pressure; you will feel the might of creation move through you. Pain, however, is associated with something gone wrong. Childbirth is a lot of hard work, and the sensations that accompany it are very strong, but there is nothing wrong with labor.” The book has no rigid concept of what “painless” means and no suggestion that mothers who do not experience birth as painless have “failed.” Painless Childbirth is written in a gently nurturing tone throughout (you can “hear” the author’s doula skills coming through), but is also very assertive that painless childbirth is very reasonable, doable, and is, indeed, the birthing mother’s right.

The book contains a lot of ideas and concepts that are of use to doulas and childbirth educators. I particularly liked Tornetta’s characterization of the three phases of first stage labor according to the primary means of coping with each phase—distraction, concentration, and surrender.

After my own experiences with pregnancy loss, I have become more aware of the treatment of the subject in birth books. Painless Childbirth directly addresses childbearing losses in a short, but compassionately written segment about healing past grief. The book also has content about exploring and overcoming fears.

The book is holistic in its approach, addressing body, mind, and spirit. It contains a lot of spiritual content of a “new age” flavor (for example, lots of references to the law of attraction and the book is organized by month according to fetal development as well as associated body chakra). While I definitely agree that birth is a spiritual event, my practical, down-to-earth side stumbled a bit over some of the concepts and phrasing, and the esoteric content may not appeal to all audiences. That said, Painless Childbirth presents a positive, loving, welcoming approach to giving birth that is both refreshing and interesting.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: The Littlest Sister

Book Review: The Littlest Sister
By Leigh Schilling Edwards
Strategic Book Publishing, 2008
ISBN 978-1-60693-041-0
14 pages, softcover, $12.00
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Littlest-Sister/317995643791

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Written from the perspective of a family’s middle child—the big sister of a hospitalized baby—The Littlest Sister is designed for siblings of a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It would also be a good book for a child who was formerly a preemie themselves. There is an older brother in the story as well, which enables readers of either gender can easily identify with the children.

Color snapshots of a real family grace each page and make the book very genuine and true-to-life. The baby in the book was born at 30 weeks and has Down Syndrome and a mild heart defect. The pictures and text contain a lot of details children will identify with—there is a picture of the big brother touching the baby in her isolette, pictures of the baby sister with a tube in her nose and monitors attached, and so forth. Bottle feeding is mentioned briefly and I wish breastfeeding had been mentioned as well

I have a special interest in the subject area because I worked for the Ronald McDonald House for four years. Written in a warm, personal tone, using easy to understand language and simple descriptions, The Littlest Sister would be a great addition to the lending library resources of Ronald McDonald Houses or NICU facilities.


Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Book Review: Brought to Earth by Birth

Book Review: Brought to Earth by Birth

By Harriette Hartigan
Motherbaby Press, 2008
ISBN 978-1-890-44642-0
93 pages, softcover, $25.95

www.motherbabypress.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

Written by well-known birth photographer Harriette Hartigan, Brought to Earth by Birth is a lyrical ode to the power of birth and babies. The book feels like an extended “poem” expressed in both word and image. The emphasis of the book is the black and white photos of pregnant women, families, and newborns that grace the pages. There are several photos of women in labor and a couple of breastfeeding images. Surrounding the photos are carefully chosen quotes and gentle words.

Brought to Earth by Birth is separated into six “chapters” and contains several birth photos, but no crowning photos or any other photos that some may consider “graphic.” The book is short—under 100 pages—and some photos were familiar to me (cover images in birth publications). The concluding emphasis is on the newborn, the one who is, after all, “brought to earth by birth.”

The book would make a nice gift for a midwife, doula, or childbirth educator and is a nice “waiting room” book to browse through. It would also make an inspirational mother blessing gift. As the author states, “The experience of birth is vast. It is a diverse tapestry woven by cultural customs, shaped in personal choices, affected by biological factors, marked by political circumstances. Yet the nature of birth itself prevails in elegant design of simple complexity.” Brought to Earth by Birth is a lovely glimpse of some strands of that elegant tapestry.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Film Review: Natural Born Babies

Film Review: Natural Born Babies

South Coast Midwifery, 2009
DVD, 24 minutes, $24.95

www.naturalbornbabies.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

This lovely short film produced by a midwifery service in California, is a great “ad” for the benefits of homebirth and of midwifery care. Natural Born Babies has a very clean, fresh, and contemporary feel and features a multicultural collection of homebirth families talking about their experiences in front of a white screen. Something that is particularly striking is that some of the people speaking with love and enthusiasm about their midwives and their birth experiences include a cardiologist, an anesthesiologist, and an ER physician!

The first part of the film is titled Interventions and features both men and women speaking about birth, referencing how pregnancy and birth are treated like medical conditions and including a lot of discussion about the prevalence of cesareans. The point is made that, “no epidural can replace human touch.” The second part is titled The Birth Specialists and points out that OB/GYNS are pathology specialists, whereas midwives are trained in normalcy—“we take low-risk women, and keep them low-risk.” Midwives are specialists in normal pregnancy and birth. Because of the film’s emphasis is wholly on out-of-hospital birth and hospitals are critiqued very soundly, hospital-bound couples viewing the film may find that it causes their defenses to rise.

Several of the parents are holding their babies as they speak and a CNM speaks briefly as well (citing both ACNM and MANA). The CNM manages Orange County’s only accredited birth center. I enjoyed the presence of a bio-physicist dad originally from Holland saying, “everyone I know was born at home” and noting that “you give birth the same way you live.” Several of the couples speaking do refer to the father as “delivering” the baby, which is a long-term pet peeve of mine.

Special features include a 10 minute version of the film, an outtakes section, and a look inside the South Coast Birth Center. At the end of the film we see that one of the couples is the director/producer of the film.

Natural Born Babies is a fast-paced film and though it is filmed in a “talking heads” format, it cuts quickly from person to person, thus keeping the viewer engaged. If you are looking for an informative video that is homebirth and midwifery friendly, but that does not include any birth footage, this would be a good addition to your library.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the film for review purposes.

Book Review: 25 Ways to Joy & Inner Peace for Mothers

Book Review: 25 Ways to Joy & Inner Peace for Mothers

By Danette Watson & Stephanie Corkhill Hyles
Watson & Corkhill Hyles, 2006
ISBN 0646-46588-0

84 page hardcover book & 60 minute CD set, $24.95
http://www.awakenyourbirthpower.com

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE

Consisting of a book and CD, 25 Ways to Joy & Inner Peace for Mothers contains 25 short breathing meditations with accompanying whimsical, colorful drawings. The meditations are on topics such as “surround yourself with mother energy,” “embrace change,” “feel reverence,” and “trust the rhythm of your baby.”

The final third of the book contains breathing tips, tips for using the meditations in life, and then “10 Healing Practices for Mothers” that are a very nice addition. This segment is followed by “Questions for Inner Exploration” that include journaling questions and prompts based on each of the meditations.

It is not clear at first glance, but 25 Ways is designed for mothers of newborns and infants, not mothers of older children (though, of course, most of the meditations could be adapted to apply to older children). The addition of “new” to the title would have been a useful clarifier.

Inspiring, empowering, and renewing, 25 Ways to Joy & Inner Peace for Mothers is a lovely and nurturing little manual that would make a nice blessingway gift for a pregnant or a congratulations gift for a special new mother.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Review originally published in the CAPPA Quarterly, April 2010.

Film Review: Sunshine

Film Review: Sunshine

By Karen Skloss
PBS, Independent Lens, 2010
60 minutes

www.pbs.org/independentlens/sunshine

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

I was very excited to receive a review copy of the independent film, Sunshine, airing on the PBS series Independent Lens on Tuesday, May 4. Through personal narrative, Sunshine chronicles the changing social definition of family and cultural attitudes towards “unwed mothers” and “single moms.” Filmmaker Karen Skloss explores her answer to her question, “does history repeat itself?” as she considers her own history as a baby given up for adoption in 1975 by her nineteen year old “unwed” biological mother (Mary) and her personal experiences of giving birth to her daughter Jasmine as a “single mother” in 1999. Since I teach Human Services classes at the college level as well as teaching private childbirth education classes, I was intrigued in the film’s subject from both perspectives—that of someone in the field of social work at the academic level and that of someone deeply invested in work with pregnant women and new mothers.

The images chosen for the film are pieced together from home movies, family snapshots, interviews, and current footage of Karen and her family—both biological and adoptive. Karen and her biomom also make a pilgrimage of sorts to visit the Texas home for unwed mothers in which Mary lived before she gave birth. Karen co-parents her daughter with Jasmine’s father in a fairly unusual arrangement in that they share care 50-50—Jasmine lives with her father half-time and with Karen half-time. Jeremy, the father, also receives some screen time in the film and has some interesting comments to make about how he is perceived as a single father and how that compares to perceptions of single mothers (i.e. as a single father he is viewed as “hero” and not as someone who is just doing what anyone should do). The footage is mostly of the mundane—everyday life: bike riding, walking, people at kitchen tables—and the content is mild. No biting commentary or sweeping sociological conclusions. The story is an engaging one and an emotional connection is quickly formed. Though the content is nondramatic on the surface, the narrative is a multilayered representation of the complexity of the everyday lives of “normal” people and I was moved to tears on at least three occasions.

My medium is the written word—I read and write prolifically—so Sunshine was a change of pace for me. And yet, it unfolded like a personal essay “written” in visual form. I was fascinated in a way I have not been before by the use of film to tell a personal, human-sized story.

The Human Services professor in me would have liked to see a little more sociopolitical commentary—the viewer is left to draw their own conclusions about larger social issues that could give context to the personal story. The childbirth educator in me was delighted to see some footage of what appeared be a gentle, positive homebirth with Karen laboring in a birth pool and then giving birth in a supported squat on the floor. This footage is without commentary, but appears to be a midwife-attended homebirth with both Karen’s biomom and adoptive mother present as well as the father of her child.

As the film concludes, Karen states that, “it is hard to understand the times you’re living in, because you’re living in them.” Sunshine is a compelling portrait of one woman’s efforts to explore those times.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this film for review purposes.

Book Review: My Name is Mary Sutter

Book Review: My Name is Mary Sutter

By Robin Oliveira
Viking, 2010
ISBN 978-0670021673
384 pages, hardcover, $26.95

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE

My Name is Mary Sutter is a new novel about a young Civil War era midwife who longs to be a surgeon, but is denied entry to medical school because she is female. Historical fiction has always been a favorite genre of mine, but historical fiction about a midwife? The best! After some initial chapters involving midwifery and family life, the main character,  Mary Sutter, seeks work first as a nurse in desperately undersupplied and overworked Civil War hospitals and then directly on the battlefield following the soldiers with a cart of medical supplies. Mary is a strong female protagonist and there are some complicated male (doctor) characters as well. A couple of mild love stories serve as sub plots.

Midwifery quickly takes a back seat in the saga as Mary becomes a nurse on the bloody battlefields of the Civil War. However, her work continues to be informed by her midwifery experiences–for example she uses memories of turning malpositioned babies as inspiration for finding the right spot to amputate wounded legs.

Some famous historical figures like President Lincoln, Clara Barton, and Dorothea Dix make appearances in the tale. The slaughter on the (famous) battlefields is tightly wrought and makes you feel as if you’ve “been there.” The reader feels exhausted and battle weary right along with Mary. The novel is a third person narrative throughout, but it almost felt like a first person account—as if the author was writing from personal experience. Be prepared for a variety of personal losses for the main character.

Riveting, well constructed, and tightly paced, My Name is Mary Sutter is a gripping story of one woman’s tenacious will and her drive both to learn and to serve.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.