A Virtual Mother Blessing for Molly Westerman!

I spy...a pregnant woman ready for some honor and celebration!

In 2007, I started blogging for Citizens for Midwifery and one of my favorite blogs was a little gem then called Feminist Childbirth Studies. The blog’s author, Molly Westerman, later became more public with her blogging identity and began writing her current blog, First the Egg, a feminist resource on pregnancy, birth, and parenting. I enjoy her thought-provoking writing, her insight into birth culture and politics, and the glimpses of her family’s life in a nonsexist home. She’s smart, funny, interesting, and she’s also pregnant with her second baby and due any time now! I think every mother deserves a blessingway or mother blessing ceremony and I’m pleased to hostess a virtual blessingway for Molly. There is a tight turnaround since her anticipated birth time is so close, so if you read this and think, “I’d like to do something…” immediately stop thinking and just DO IT!

During my last pregnancy, Molly offered multiple supportive comments in response to my various musings, anxieties and fears as a pregnancy-after-loss mama (even though she didn’t have personal experience with PAL, she did know the right things to say!) Her comments, particularly one about the fact that I was doing this, meant a lot to me. I’ve now followed her current very physically challenging pregnancy with interest and long-distance support/rooting her on as she prepares for the homebirth of her new baby this month. I’m happy to have the chance to offer her a little more encouragement and love through this virtual mother blessing.

Here’s how you can participate:

Email me with your…

Words of support, affirmation, encouragement for Molly–either written or recorded (think about what you’d say face-to-face at a ceremony and then, if you have a smartphone, use the handy dandy microphone tool and talk into as if you were speaking directly to Molly in a mother blessing circle. After your voice memo is recorded, choose “share” and send it to me!)
Favorite birthy readings/poems/etc. (again could be written or recorded)
Birth art (i.e. a picture of something you drew, or you can mail Molly an actual drawing–see below).
Beads or charms for a birth bracelet/necklace–if you’d like to do this, email me for Molly’s address and then mail it now, so there is a chance she will receive it before the birth. I figure that all postpartum mamas can use ongoing doses of birth power energy anyway, so even if it gets to her post-birth, that’s cool too!

As I mentioned, there is tight turnaround on this, so on Tuesday of next week, I will gather everything that has been emailed to me and send it to Molly as a “blessingway in your inbox.” 🙂

Getting closer and closer to birthing day...

If you are curious to learn more about mother blessings, click here to read other posts I’ve written about them.

If birth were a temple

Apr8

If birth were a temple

If birth were a temple
my body is religion, and this small form
twisting out of me,
is
prayer
my cries
reach birth’s vaulted
ceilings,
arching like my back over holy
waters,
crystal clear salt of amniotic
my womb–a blessing bowl
releases
her treasure.

–Nane Ariadne Jordan

I came across this beautiful poem in an anthology of prayers and readings called Talking to Goddess, edited by D’vorah Grenn.

Circles Writing

Jan13

each time we pose pen or pencil to paper

we connect with who we are         who we were       who we want to be

we are circles of women

writing together     apart    in dialogue     alone

we write: wherever we are     when we’re overwhelmed

to clear our minds

to express our anger, to clarify our thoughts

when we’re too tired to talk, to capture that exact feeling

to release our pain, to honour our truths

we write

to connect ourselves

to this circle

these circles

of women writing

each time we pose

pen or pencil

to paper.

–Wendy Judith Cutler, 1992 (in We’Moon datebook, 2011)

This time last year, I was writing about the circle of women that gathered in my living room for my blessingway. This photo was a beautiful gift from my friend Karen.

I am so amazed and pleased and surprised and blessed by the connections that have come into my life (or that have been made stronger) due to women writing. I love how the perfect “message” springs off the page (or computer screen) at me from another woman’s life, musings, words, and experiences. It is incredible.

I’ve been working on a happy birthday post about my baby girl (who is sick and crabby right now—and, now I’m sick and crabby too, which makes it hard to find the glowing words I want to share). One of the things I wish to express is about having come full circle—we’ve made our first trip around the sun together. I feel like I’ve closed out something by having made this journey with her in my arms. In the book Sisters Singing, I read this quote this morning:

“There is an open, flexible, compassionate way of relating to everything we experience, including natural disasters and sudden death. It is not so much a process of learning how to ‘get over’ a profound loss, but rather how to allow it to be there, lightly, gently, like a fine thread woven forever into the tapestry of who we are.” –Nancy J. Rigg

And, then, on FB, I spied this beautiful quote as well: “Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior’s world.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

Blessingway Poem: A Prayer for One Who Comes to Choose This Life

Nov26

A Prayer for One Who Comes to Choose This Life

By Danelia Wild

May she know the welcome

of open arms and hearts

May she know she is loved

by many and by one

May she know the circle of friendship that gives

and receives love in all its forms

May she know and be known

in the heart of another

May she know the heart

that is this earth

reach for the stars and

call it home

And in the end

may she find everything

in her heart

and her heart

in everything

Last week I attended a blessingway for a friend who moved away last year. We didn’t know each other very well when she lived here, but thanks to Facebook, we’ve kept in touch and have bonded this year due to some personal experiences and commonalities. The poem above from the book Sisters Singing felt perfect to me to share with her. She has waited with such hope and love to meet her new daughter.

I also made her one of my polymer clay birth goddess sculptures. I purposely overbaked it to make the pigment more deeply colored. This goddess is holding a heart-shaped gem for love.

Spirit Doll

Oct29

Traditional Akuaba figures

In the summer we started working on spirit dolls at our women’s retreat. I have always wanted to make one in the style of an Akuaba—an African fertility goddess-type figure—however, I felt like it would be quicker to make a different style and so that was the one I began working on in the summer. After letting her languish for months without finishing her, I realized after our fall retreat that I really wanted to make one according to my original vision. So, in two days, I worked feverishly and made this little beauty:

I love her! She’s just what I wanted to make. My boys say she looks like a gingerbread voodoo doll and she kind of does. That’s okay. I know what she really is!

More Readings for Women’s Programs

Oct26

I absolutely love collecting these kinds of things (almost as much as I love collecting quotes) and I figure that as long as I’ve bothered retyping or saving them, I might as well share them via my blog—that way more people can possibly benefit from or enjoy them!

Invocation:

Mother of the Medicine Wheel (from Sage Woman issue 81)

By Sharon Blessum

In the womb of the East Lodge

She gives birth in the morning.

She mothers us with smiles and songs.

In the strong sun of the South

She offers food from Her garden,

Enchantment for the mid-day of life.

In the benediction of the West

She colors evening with sunset

Wraps us in reflections of day.

In the old age of the North Lodge,

She will hold us in sweetness

Cross with us into the Land of the Ancestors.

—-

Opening Words/Chalice Lightings

May we be reminded here of our highest aspirations,

and inspired to bring our gifts of love and service to the altar of humanity.

May we know once again that we are not isolated beings

but connected, in mystery and miracle, to the universe,

to this community and to each other.

-Anonymous (Reading #434 in Singing The Living Tradition)

—-

Or (not sure of the source for this one, I had it jotted on a little piece of paper):

With the kindling of this flame,

We honor the mysteries and riddles that prompt us to ask questions;

We give thanks for community, in which we can seek their answers;

And we open our hearts and minds to our great and many freedoms.

—

Introductory Reading/Welcome

The Gaze of Love: A Body-Loving Invitation to all Women, by Patricia Lynn Reilly

Today, and everyday, let’s turn toward other women’s bodies, and our own, with mercy and unconditional acceptance, letting go of the competition and scrutiny-based sizing up of each other, letting go of the subtle put-downs and diminishments when we’re threatened by each other, allowing healing attention to flow one to another until the gaze of love heals us.

A gaze of love, calling wise women with their beautiful silver hair and life-lines out of hiding; inviting our smart, gifted daughters to reject the tyranny of thinness and to cease from harming themselves; welcoming the full, rounded bodies of our friends, bodies that refuse to be battered into shape by diets and admonishments.

A gaze of love so powerful, so encompassing, embracing the whole community of women, all sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and languages, with the widest welcome, the deepest affirmation, the highest calling, the loudest YES.

A gaze of love, inspiring us to bite into LIFE and the fullness of its possibility, to express LIFE through us in color and shape, sound and movement, to honor LIFE by turning our body-loving energy toward projects of justice, relationships of comfort, strategies of wellness, and words of affirmation.

Knowing we’re all in this together.
One breath. One body. One life. And so it is.