Simply Give Birth: A Mini-Review

Nov30

Only about a week following my miscarriage, I received a review copy of a new book by Heather Cushman-Dowdee (also known as Hathor the Cowgoddess). I have a pile of birth-related books waiting for me to review. However, I found that this soon post-miscarriage when I go to read them, my heart just isn’t in it, and I set them down again. However, Heather’s book was a different experience. Titled Simply Give Birth, the book is a beautiful collection of powerful birth stories (mostly unassisted births). When I got the book, I thought, “well, I’ll just flip through this a bit, even though my heart isn’t in it.” Well, I was instantly entranced in spite of myself. I didn’t finish reading it that week, but I picked it back up the following week and read it all the way through. What a treasure. It was very, very good and I really recommend it.

As I have briefly referenced here, I was struck by how the experience of “unassisted natural home miscarriage” parallels that of unassisted birth. Immediately after my body released my little baby, I felt strong and brave and powerful and like, “wow! I did it!” even though the outcome was not what I ever planned for or wanted. I rarely see feelings like that expressed in the many hospital/D & C miscarriage stories I’ve been reading lately and I feel happy that I was able to give myself and my baby the gift of “letting go” in our own dear home.

Reading Heather’s introduction about telling a new story about birth made me think there are new stories to be told about miscarriage as well. She says about the stories she selected for her book: “…all birth stories…prove what can be done. We can birth our babies and relish it too. We’re not stoic or fanatical, we’re mothers doing what mothers have always done, giving birth; with grace and spirit, and chutzpah, and moxie…they shared their grief, their passions, their exhaultation, and their fears. It takes massive courage to write about this most personal of moments with such candor and intensity and then be willing to share…”

Simply Give Birth is simply amazing. If hope you are lucky and find it in your Christmas stocking this year. If you don’t, or if you just can’t wait to read it, pop on over to the website and buy it ASAP!

Lavender & Letting Go (Warning: Miscarriage/Baby Loss)

Nov12

My life has taken a sad and unexpected turn. I was 14 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my third baby and we found out on Friday afternoon that the baby had died. Very early Saturday morning, he was born at home. Though it was different in some ways than a full-term birth, my experience of miscarriage was very much a birth–my water broke, I had normal contractions for about two hours, the baby was born (about 4 inches, well formed with eyelids, fingers, toes, mouth that opened, etc.), we saw the tiny umbilical cord, and so forth. I was surprised to discover that some of the same feelings of empowerment were also present after a “natural home miscarriage” as with a natural home birth–I felt strong and brave and like “I did it myself!” as well as amazed at how well my body worked and knew what to do. We learned the baby was our third boy and named him Noah.

I have a number of feelings and observations that I would like to share about this birth experience, but I’m not sure if this blog is the “appropriate” place to do so, because this is also my business website and I don’t want to “scare” any prospective clients away by being sad. There are a lot of losses that accompany the loss of a baby and one of the ones that is hard for me is that my life is devoted to helping women give birth with confidence, strength, and joy and to embrace pregnancy and birth as wonderful events. It is sad to me to now be a source of fear/elevated perception of risk—“if it could happen to her, it could happen to me!” Kind of like I’ve become a “bad omen” instead of a source of encouragement. 😦

One thing I do want to share about the birth of my third baby is that earlier that afternoon I’d received a package from Taylor’s Scarlet Thread. I had ordered a bonnet and apron from them for a Kirsten costume (Kirsten is an American Girl doll) for myself. They sent along a little lavender sachet as a free gift with my order. When my labor began, for some reason I wanted the sachet and held and smelled it throughout my labor. I also used it to kind of revive myself when I felt like I was fainting several times afterwards. I talked to the baby and to myself before I started having regular contractions telling myself and the baby that we need to “let go” of each other and that it was time to let go. During the labor, I chanted to myself, “let go, let go, let go” and smelled my sachet. Several days later, I was reading a book about miscarriage and it had some aromatherapy suggestions in it. It listed lavender for “letting go”…

Moving During Labor

Oct28

The second Healthy Birth Blog carnival is up on Lamaze’s Science & Sensibility blog. It is a great collection of links to posts about the importance of Healthy Birth Practice #2: Walk, Move Around, and Change Positions During Labor. For the blog carnival I contributed a post/handout I made last year called How to Use a Hospital Bed Without Lying Down. We spend quite some time on the subject in my classes and I encourage my clients to treat the bed like a “tool,” rather than a place to lie down. I also encourage strategizing about ways to both meet the needs of the hospital staff for “confinement” as well as the needs of the birthing woman for mobility (so, sitting on birth ball right NEXT to the bed and monitor, instead of lying back in the bed—both sets of needs can be met this way).

When reading through some of the other links in the blog carnival, I particularly enjoyed the one at The Unnecesarean about Women Describe Walking, Moving and Changing Positions in Labor. In the post, Jill points out “For first time mothers who have had no exposure to a birth, the time between, ‘I felt a contraction!’ and ‘I have to push!’ is often a total mystery.” How true is this! How many birth documentaries and shows (even very good ones), essentially only show a few minutes in early labor and then the baby being pushed out? What happened during the other 12 hours?? Obviously, we can have an episode or documentary that lasts 12 hours and shows every single detail, but I do think this gap means it is hard for first time mothers to really get a “vision” of what labor and birth is really like—the “long haul” picture.

Of course, that post made me think about my own births and how movement played an important role in both of them. I think it was equally significant/important for both, but since I was in labor longer with my first baby I used movement much more. In early labor, I sat on the floor cross legged with my back straight (working to keep the baby in “optimal” fetal alignment :), while I ate dinner and watched a movie. Then, I walked in the hallway to see if walking would stimulate any increased contractions. I also sat on the birth ball. As labor moved on, I ONCE tried lying down on my side in bed to “go to sleep” (at the suggestion of my doctor and doula) and that was IT. I had one contraction lying down and it was the worst contraction I’ve ever experienced (both babies). I never laid down again during either birthing! No possible way! When I got tired, I did kneel on the bed with a pile of pillows in front of me and rested my head/arms on the pillows. I also spent a lot of time kneeling by the side of the bed with my head resting on my arms on it. (This was my own bed at home.) I sat and rocked in the rocking chair with my eyes closed. I sat on the floor (briefly) with the rice sock under my belly and husband sitting behind me.When I went to the birth center, I sat in the rocking chair (oh wait, I did lie down one more time, for my sole cervical check of either pregnancy/birth). I also went back to kneeling on the floor with my head on the bed. Then I gave birth to my first son in a semi-sitting position on the birth center bed with my husband behind me/to the side. (Not the position I would have instinctively chosen, I think I would have actually birthed him kneeling by the side of the bed, but I was encouraged to get up into the bed. See his birth story.)

With my second baby, I walked around (again, “testing” out whether labor was “real” and going to intensify) in our kitchen. I squatted down several times (again, “testing” and trying to “make it bigger“). Then, I sat on my birth ball in the living room. I only stayed there for a few contractions and then stood up and wanted something to lean on—I leaned on the back of the (too rocky) recliner. Then, I ended up kind of hanging on my husband for a while—my arms around his neck and my legs dropping kind of outward. I then felt “driven to my knees” and got on my hands and knees on the floor with my arms and head on my birth ball. I quickly decided I didn’t want the ball and got just on my hands and knees with my husband in front of me with his arms around me. My son was born while I was on my hands and knees in this way.

I think when women think about “active birth” or “freedom of movement throughout labor,” sometimes they think this means walking the whole time or squatting up and down and up and down, or literally being *standing up* and moving around “aggressively” throughout labor. My own experiences were “active birth,” but the freedom of movement includes being able to sit in a rocking chair and “meditate” through contractions, or resting on your knees with your head on the bed. The “activity” we’re really talking about is really not lying down-–having the body upright/torso above the pelvis.

The most important event shaping my life as a mother?

Oct22

Recently, this quote from a Midwifery Today blog post came to my attention: “your birth is the most important event in shaping your life as a mother.” It has generated some pretty heated discussion and negative feelings amongst some writers in the blogosphere. Despite my intense commitment to birthwork, I stumble over the quote a bit as well. I would venture to guess that if phrased in less black-and-white terms, it would not have caused such an angry reaction in some women. Perhaps, “your [child’s] birth is a very important event…” or “…is ONE of the most important events…” would have been better received, while communicating a similar idea. While I understand the sentiment and deeply agree that birth matters, the sweeping assertion of the phrase “the most” doesn’t leave a lot of of room for personal experiences and individual variation!

I found the quote first referenced here with an insightful “rebuttal” of sorts. There is also a very detailed critique here.

I have a lot of my own thoughts based on both the original quote/blog post and on the responses from other bloggers.

It is well documented that birth is NOT “just another day in a woman’s life” and that giving birth does have lasting impact on women’s memories and quality of life. Those day-to-day moments with your children that several bloggers mentioned as more appropriate representations of “most important event shaping my life as a mother” are certainly important too and are the makings of a “real life,” but they don’t necessarily stand out in the memory as transformative events. Kind of like your wedding day stands out as very significant—it matters and is important and is not “just another day”—while simultaneously it is clear that the day-to-day life and love with your husband is actually more important than the wedding day. So, while I would agree that “ultimately” speaking, your marriage is definitely more important than your wedding, I would also put forth that you are much more like to remember your wedding specifically and clearly and with specific emotion than you are to remember what you ate for breakfast with your honey-pie last weekend and that is one of the reasons why the wedding matters. Perhaps it is an issue of the mudane vs. the miraculous…

I believe you can hold the two experiences simultaneously—you can enjoy the wedding memory, while cherishing your regular old daily husband AND you can enjoy (or suffer from) the birth memory while also cherishing the daily life with the little ones. One doesn’t have to trump the other or to be “what really matters.” There’s room for lots of mattering in an every day life 🙂

I think another key is that birth is (or can be) a “peak experience” for women (and families). I want all women to have a chance to experience that. I certainly do not want her to feel diminished, unworthy, inferior or lacking if birth is not a peak experience in her life, but I also want all women to certainly be given a reasonable opportunity to let birth unfold in all its power and be treated respectfully and humanely by those around her—regardless of what is going on or the eventual outcome.

I love birth and cherish my memories of my sons’ births and consider them to be some of the most transformative, empowering, and significant single days in my life—peak experiences, powerful memories—and I also feel that birth matters as a distinct (and relatively rare) occurrence in a woman life. I believe birth has inherent value and worth on its own terms. I also believe that your feelings about the birth and the baby can most definitely be separated—you can feel pleased as punch with your delightful, precious baby and also be disappointed (or super thrilled with) your birthing. One does not take from the other—you can hold the reality of both and a breadth of feelings about them. And additionally, it is not wrong to want both things—a “good birth” and a “healthy baby.” The two go hand in hand and are not mutually exclusive concepts at all (see links to previous posts below).

All that said, however, I also do not feel that my children’s births were the most important events shaping my life as a mother. They were important, yes, but I think stating with finality that the event that shapes us is definitely X—or putting a finger on THE most important event is NOT something that can be pinned down by any one person or imposed from someone on the outside of yourself. I think it varies by woman and mother and there is room for many things to be true and valuable and okay. So, perhaps your important life shaper is seeing your children decorate the Christmas tree (though I still submit that “peak experiences” carry more emotional and psychological weight that everyday occurrences). For another mother, it could be the day she gave birth to her child. Those are both okay! One woman’s feelings and reality do not invalidate or dismiss another’s.

For me, the profound shaping event was the experience postpartum with my first baby. I have never had an experience that shaped me and impacted me and SHOOK me more profoundly than adjusting to life with my newborn son. That was my journey. That was my struggle. That was my challenge. That is what dissolved me and burned me into ashes and let me rise again as someone the same but also brand new—a mother. I was not “born” when my son was born, I was forged. Made, in the intense weeks that followed his birth.

If another mother states that her postpartum was full of “babymoon bliss,” do I need to dismiss her as deluded, lying, and or possibly perpetuating a myth? No! I can hold both in my awareness—my postpartum experience was my most significant life challenge. Hers was not. Both truths are FINE! Likewise, if I decide share that my sex life post-kids is better than ever before, is that dismissed as “couldn’t possible be true? MY sex life was ruined by kids!” or that I’m somehow lying or misrepresenting the truth? No, both can be true, because we are all different women with different lives and experiences and “realities.” So, if a woman feels like her birth experiences were the most important events shaping her life as a mother, that is totally okay—and, it can be true, without making a woman with the opposite experience diminished or “less than.” Of course, the logical extension of this train of thought, is whether I (and other birth activists) can hold our birth matters truth alongside the realization or acceptance that for some women birth IS “just one day” or that it is not an important event in their lives?

I also think we can draw on powerful memories for present strength—I remember my “birth warrior” feelings and it helps me with other tasks or with day to day life. I remember the laughing, crying, “my baby, MY BABY!” moments of triumph and bliss and ecstasy immediately postpartum and it buoys me with a fresh charge of love for the little ruffians leaping off the couch in front of me or throwing crackers all over the house.

——–

Since the “birth experience vs. healthy baby” argument is of special interest to me, I’ve addressed it several other times on this blog:

Birth and Apples

Personal Mastery & Birth

Birth Experience or Healthy Baby?

Evidence Based Care

Another Healthy Mother/Healthy Baby Quote

Birth Talk

Oct19

As I have referenced several times before I have a special interest in the language of birth. That is part of the reason my blog/business is so-named—because is it is a blog that “talks birth” (as in, “let’s get together and talk birth!”), but also because the way you talk about birth matters. I have also referenced before that it was originally going to be called Birth Talk, but when I went to get the gmail address, it was already taken (by a childbirth educator I coincidentally later came to know!). I’ve come to really “bond” with my Talk Birth name and now “birth talk” sounds slightly odd to me (though “talk birth” is really the odder phrasing).

A couple of months ago, I read an interesting article by Debra Bingham about Taking Birth Back. It it, she asks you to consider–when talking about birth–how your basic assumptions affect your discourse (the way you talk about birth):

1. Does your discourse include stories about the power of women?
2. Or do the stories shift the locus of control away from women and their bodies to other authority figures such as nurses, physicians, or machines?
3. Does your discourse assume that women are physiologically capable of giving birth and nourishing their own children?
4. Or does your discourse assume that women’s bodies are fundamentally flawed and in need of medical attention and intervention?

I am frequently attempting to shift the locus of control from “authority” figures back to women–it is shocking to me how ingrained the terminology is about medical care providers (even midwives!), “letting” someone do something, etc.

And, an enormous part of my life revolves around stories about the power of women, so I think I have that one down 😉

The prevailing social discourse about birth assumes a locus of control external to the woman and you rarely hear stories about the “power of women” amongst the general public or mainstream media. Ditto for the assumption of women’s bodies as fundamentally flawed, except replace “rarely” with “frequently.” These messages are so dominating that I think it is hard for women to really “hear” positive birth talk–it seems like a “joyful birth” must be a myth or impossible. Likewise, when a woman is striving to keep the birth talk around her positive, it can be very difficult to override the predominately negative messages coming at her from every side. I see this in my classes, “I believe birth is a natural event, etc., etc. BUT….” (followed by a “I trust my doctor’s judgment and if he wants me to have this GTT test or this extra ultrasound to check my fluid level, etc. I guess I will do it…” comment that contributes to the “climate of doubt” in her life). There are also the woman’s own “inner voices” to contend with—I hypothesize that the loudly-shouted cultural voices about birth contribute a good deal to the “negative voice” in her inner dialog.

I don’t know any way to “fix” this other than to continue “talking birth”–good, healthy, positive, normal, humanistic, natural, joyful birth–as widely and frequently as I can!

Birth as a Rite of Passage & ‘Digging Deeper’

Oct16

Childbirth is a powerful rite of passage. One of my favorite resources, The Pink Kit, has some great reflections on this rite of passage and the words we use to describe the powerful, indescribable act of giving birth:

Whatever the culture, when a woman surrenders to the process, accepts the intense sensations, works through each contraction, and digs deep within herself to achieve the end goal–giving birth–she is touched by the Unknown and Unknowable. Many traditional cultures send their young men into initiation rites where they, too, can learn to understand humbleness and achieve the self-control that women learn in childbirth.

All cultures believe that women become better and more generous through the process of giving birth. That is why some cultures use words such as ‘sacrifice,’ ‘suffering’ and ‘labour.’ These terms can seem overwhelming and to be avoided’ however, seen from a different viewpoint, childbirth helps us to become strong, resourceful and determined.

In a modern world, ‘getting through’ labour without numbing or dumbing the process can be a very powerful experience for a woman, and very challenging.

I like the concept of “digging deeper.” This how The Pink Kit explains it:

You might avoid the pain in labour by moving into a position which is comfortable for you (i.e. reduces the sensations), but it slows labour down and then you stay there for hours. Doing that will increase the likelihood of medical intervention because you will become tired, bored, or frightened, and labour doesn’t progress. Instead, consider remaining in positions that keep you open and the labour progressing, while using your skills to manage the sensations. This is ‘digging deeper’.

I have noticed an emphasis in other natural birth preparation books and explanations about finding positions that are “comfortable.” I very much like the concept of finding positions that help you feel “open”—these positions may certainly also comfortable (and that is great!), but if you remain mindful of “staying open,” it may lead you “dig deeper” and find positions that really help move the baby. In my classes, I encourage women to welcome labor “getting bigger” (not more “painful” or “difficult,” but make it “bigger” and be excited by that change!). I think this idea goes hand in hand with digging deeper.

Quick Births

Sep19

I recently finished reading the book Permission to Mother by Denise Punger (you can read my full review in an upcoming issue of the CAPPA Quarterly). In one of the Appendices of the book, she addresses “Herbal Inductions–Are They Safe?” Her response is “no” and she adds “A homebirth does not equal a ‘natural birth’ if Blue and Black Cohosh are used to induce.” She opens the section by referencing her third labor which was over 12 hours and gave her “time to emotionally adjust to the escalating physical demands and surprise of my labor” and then goes on to say, “Over and over…I am hearing about intense labors that occur in two hours or less! Women often express delight about their miraculously quick labors (as if a quick labor were the goal). But I don’t sense any emotional, physical, or spiritual satisfaction accompanying these seemingly precipitous deliveries.” She also shares that a commonality in these stories is the use of herbals to induce or augment labor.

This section caught my eye, because I had a very quick birth with my second baby. I also was intrigued by the presumptiveness of dismissing a quick birth as not emotionally, physically, or spiritually satisfying—it seems like someone who is seeing through their own “lens” of 12+ hour labors and can’t imagine another type of timeline for birth. For the past several days I’ve been pondering this issue and considering my own experiences. I also did a variety of google searches looking for information about “emotional impact” of “fast labor” or “precipitous birth.” I turned up surprisingly little information—there was one article that popped up several times titled “The experience of precipitate labor” in the journal Birth. However, I was not able to access the full text of the article to read what it actually says. The results were described as: “The experience of precipitate labor was categorized in terms of physical experience (perception of labor length and contractions), psychological experience (relationship of how women perceived birth to their prenatal expectations, and emotional trajectory of disbelief, alarm, panic, and relief), and external factors (support persons and hospital system).”

My searches also turned up personal birth stories, excerpts from nursing textbooks or emergency medicine texts about handling precipitous birth, and message board discussion threads. The most commonly shared pieces of information about rapid labors is that they can be physically shocking and can be difficult to “catch up with” emotionally, as well as stressful because the mothers often are thinking, “if this is early labor, how I can possibly handle another 12 hours?!” They also reference increased change of hemorrhage. I did not see the questions raised by the Permission to Mother segment directly addressed anywhere. So, I want to know–if you experienced a quick birth what physical, emotional, and spiritual satisfaction did you experience, if any? What about external factors? (support persons, birth environment.) How about your psychological experience and “emotional trajectory”?

My own experiences are as follows:

Second baby, total labor two hours. Forty weeks pregnant. No herbal induction methods used. About 45 minutes were “serious labor.” It was very intense and I’ve said several times before that it felt a bit like a train rushing past and that I had run to catch up with it (emotionally and mentally).

Physical Satisfaction:

I was extremely proud of my body and its super-awesomeness 🙂 I felt that my sense of birth trust was physically manifested in my actual birth experience. My body was a powerful and unstoppable force and I had to get out of my own way and let it happen! I felt driven to my hands and knees–like a power was holding me there. After the birth my body felt weak and “run over by a truck”—I felt powerful and like a warrior during the birth, but afterward it was a physical “crash” of sorts. I did not have excessive bleeding, but I did almost faint several times after getting up (hindsight says, why didn’t I just stay down a while longer?!). I experienced labial tearing (no perineal tearing) and a lot of swelling as well as bruising, that I surmise was a direct result of my son’s rapid birth.

Emotional Satisfaction:

The birth was very emotionally satisfying. I did feel as if I never made it to “labor land” though–that hazy, dreamy, unreal state that I associate with my first son’s birth (and longer labor). I did not feel scared or overwhelmed or out of control as such (I did consciously let go of control—I think these are two different things) . I felt proud of myself. I felt amazed. I felt phenomenal. I felt ecstatic. I felt powerful. I felt empowered. I felt triumphant. I was pleased with how I’d verbally coached myself through labor—telling myself “it’s okay, you’re okay” and “be a clear, open channel for birth” and “relax your legs.” I felt excited and enjoyed the “drama” of already holding my baby after only a short while before thinking, “maybe I’m in labor.” It felt like a wonderful, fulfilling adventure. I didn’t feel like a “victim,” but I did feel like something “happened to me”–as I said, I had to just get out of my own way and let the power roll through me. Later, I felt emotionally upset about the tears and the bruising. This felt like my piece of “failure,” because I had hoped and planned not to tear again.

Spiritual Satisfaction:

This is related to the above for me. I felt like a force of nature–like I was one with the powers of the universe. I was happy with my ability to get out of my head and “be in the now” with the energy of birth. My son’s birth was the most powerful and transformative experience of my life. I think that counts as sprititual satisfaction 🙂

External Factors:

I gave birth at home. If I hadn’t planned a homebirth, I think there would have been more stress and fear involved with trying to get to the hospital (and possibly a car birth, as we live 30 minutes from the hospital). My husband was very physically there with me–holding and supporting me–I felt like we were one person. My mother was present towards the end and held my older son. They felt overwhelmed and surprised by the intensity, but they got out of my way and let me birth! My midwife was present for 5 minutes–enough time to catch the baby. She was calm and a gentle presence. She was very physically supportive postpartum. No one tried to influence or control what I was doing, where I was, or how I was laboring and giving birth. I had complete freedom and control over my environment.

Emotional Trajectory:

I went from excitement—“I hope this is really it!”—to, “Oh my goodness, we don’t have time to fill up the birth pool—just get me my birth shirt, my blessingway bracelet, and my ponytail holder!” and wading deeply in to the rushing waves of energy. The experience became completely encompassing–I was no longer in my left-brain, but was instead holding on to the train and catching up. I did not feel panicked or alarmed and I did not feel relieved when it was over, I felt amazed and happy and blissful and powerful.

What to Expect When You Go to the Hospital for a Natural Childbirth

Sep9

I’ve been debating about whether to share this post or not. I’m concerned that it may come across as unnecessarily negative, pessimistic, or even “combative” or “anti-hospital.” However, I do think it is honest and I’ve decided to share it. There is a fairly “normal” course of events for women having a natural birth in a hospital setting. In order to be truly prepared to give birth in the hospital, it is important to be prepared for “what to expect” there and to know how to deal with hospital procedures. All hospital procedures/routines can be refused, but this requires being informed, being strong, and really paying attention to what is happening. I hope this list of “what to expect” with help you talk with your medical care provider in advance about hospital routines and your own personal choices, as well as help prevent unpleasant surprises upon actually showing up in the birthing room. This list is modified from material found in the book Woman-Centered Pregnancy and Birth. I am not saying that is how your specific hospital operates, but that many American hospitals function in this manner.

Expect to have at least some separation from the person who brought you to the hospital, whether this separation is due to filling out admission paperwork, parking the car, giving a urine sample, being examined in triage, etc.
Expect to remove all your clothing and put on a hospital gown that ties in the back.
Expect to have staff talk over you, not to you, and to have many different people walk into your room whenever they want without your permission and without introducing themselves.
Expect to have your cervix examined by a nurse upon admission and approximately every hour thereafter. Sometimes you may have multiple vaginal exams per hour by more than one person.
Expect to have an IV inserted into your arm, or at minimum a saline lock (sometimes called a Hep lock).
Expect to be denied food and drink (at best, expect clear liquids or ice).
Expect to give a urine sample and perhaps a blood sample.
Expect to have an ID bracelet attached to your arm.
Expect to have to sign a consent form for birth and for application of a fetal monitor that states that your doctor will be responsible for making the decisions about your care (not you).
Expect to have a fetal heart rate monitor attached around your belly—two round discs on straps that will often stay with you continuously until you give birth (or, at best, for 15 minutes out of each hour of your labor).
Expect to have your water manually broken at about 4 centimeters (or at least, strongly suggested that you allow it to be broken). After this point, expect to be encourage to have an electrode screwed into the baby’s scalp to measure the heartbeat and a tube places in your uterus to measure your contractions.
Expect to be offered pain medications repeatedly.
Expect to receive Pitocin at some point during your labor–“to speed things up.”
Expect to be encouraged (or even ordered) to remain in your bed through much of labor, especially pushing.
Expect to either have your legs put in stirrups or held at a 90 degree angle at the hips.
Expect to be told you are not pushing correctly.
Expect to hold your baby on your chest for a few minutes, before it is taken away to be dried, warmed, and checked over.
Expect the baby to have antibiotic eye ointment put into its eyes (without telling you first).
Expect to have your baby suctioned repeatedly.
Expect to be given a shot of Pitocin to make your uterus contract and deliver the placenta.
Expect not to be shown the placenta.
Expect your baby to be given a vitamin K injection.

I think it is important to note that what you can expect is often different than what you deserve and that what you can expect often reduces or eliminates your chances of getting what you deserve. In my classes, I’ve made a conscious decision to present what women deserve in birth and though I also talk about what they can expect and how to work with that, I think sometimes they are left surprised that what they actually experience in the hospital. At minimum, what you deserve are Six Healthy Birth Practices (as articulated by Lamaze):

Let Labor Begin on Its Own – Download PDF
Walk, Move & Change Positions – Download PDF
Have Continuous Support – Download PDF
Avoid Unnecessary Interventions – Download PDF
Get Upright & Follow Urges to Push – Download PDF
Keep Your Baby With You – Download PDF

As an example of what I mean about what you can expect clashing with what you deserve, consider the second healthy birth practice “Walk, Move Around, and Change Positions”—monitoring and IVs directly conflict with the smooth implementation of a practice based on freedom of movement throughout labor.

So, how do you work with or around these routine expectations and your desire for a natural birth?

Discuss in advance the type of nursing care you would like and request that your doctor put any modifications to the normal routines in your chart as “Doctor’s Orders” (if your doctor is unwilling to do so, seek a new medical care provider!)
Labor at home until labor is very well-established.
Go through the above list of “what to expect” and make a decision about how to handle each one on a case by case—you may choose to actively refuse something, you may be okay with accepting certain procedures or routines, and you can develop a coping plan for how specifically to work with any particular issue.
Take independent childbirth classes and learn a variety of techniques and pain coping practices so that your “toolbox” for working with labor is well stocked.
Hire a doula, or bring a knowledgeable, helpful, experienced friend with you. It can help to have a strong advocate with you (this may or may not be a role your husband or partner is willing to take on).
Another tactic is to “never ask permission to do what you want, but to go ahead and do it unless the hospital staff actively stops you.” (An example of this is of getting up and walking around during labor)
“Many people, if they can find no other way to get around a dangerous or unpleasant hospital policy, unobtrusively ignore it”—a good example of this is with regard to eating and drinking during labor. Restricting birthing women to ice chips or clear liquids is not evidence-based care. Bring light foods and drinks and quietly partake as you please.
Leave the hospital early, rather than remaining the full length of stay post-birth. This can minimize separation from baby and other routines you may wish to avoid.
For some additional ideas see my post, “Can I really expect to have a great birth?“

Finally, and most importantly, “birth is not a time in a woman’s life when she should have to FIGHT for anything,” so if you find that you feel you are preparing yourself for “hospital self-defense” I encourage you to explore your options in birth places and care providers, rather than preparing for a “battle” and hoping for the best. If you feel like you are going to have to fight for your rights in birth, STRONGLY consider the implications of birthing in that setting. Also, as The Pink Kit says, “hope is not a plan”—so if you find yourself saying “I hope I can get what I want” it is time to take another, serious look at your plans and choices for your baby’s birth.

Beautiful Homebirth Slideshow

Sep8

Today I was sent a link to a lovely homebirth slideshow (scroll down through the photos and story to get to the slideshow link—-the story is worth reading too. It has some good observations about why birth matters: “If you have scene the movie The Business of Being Born there is a seen where one of the OBs being interviewed states in so many words that the process of birth is unimportant that it’s the outcome that is important – a healthy baby and a healthy mom. And while he is correct that a healthy baby and a healthy mom are always the most important end result he is dead wrong about the process. The process matters – -immensely. Physically the birth process is extremely important for the long term health of the mother and the baby, emotionally and psychologically the birth process will affect a woman for the rest of her life.” Can I just say, Amen!)

I absolutely love the joyful expressions on the mother’s face immediately after birth. So beautiful! Plus, it brings that feeling from my own births back to me. On Labor Day, CAPPA posed the question:

“Happy ‘LABOR’ day from CAPPA. What I loved about labor was________________!”
My response was: The feeling of personal power at the end—the “I climbed my mountain,” I DID IT feeling. And that moment of ecstasy of holding my new baby and saying, “my baby, my baby, oh my baby” over and over 🙂 Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it!

Watching the slideshow above, also brought the memory of that same “my baby, my baby” rapture back to me.

Awakening Your Birth Power

Sep2

“If you have heard enough birth ‘war stories,’ advice, and medical information…

If you are beginning to doubt yourself and to feel confused and worried about giving birth…

It is time to focus on something simple, positive and inspirational.

It is time to come back to center and listen to your own inner wisdom.

It is time to Awaken your Birth Power.”

I recently received a copy of the book and CD set 25 Ways to Awaken Your Birth Power, by Danette Watson and Stephanie Corkhill Hyles. The book is a collection of 25 short breathing meditations each accompanied by a beautiful (and sort of whimsical) drawing. The enclosed CD has 3 tracks–the first is called “awaken your birth power for pregnancy” and consists of the relevant meditations from the book read aloud. The woman reading has a pleasant, soothing voice with a slight Australian (?) accent. The second track on the CD is “awaken your birth power for labour and birth” and consists of 48 minutes of the relevant meditations from the book read aloud. The third track is an abbreviated almost 8-minute guided meditation. This CD would be perfect to listen to while in labor. The book and its gentle illustrations is a nurturing, confidence-inspiring, birth-power-enhancing, reflective, time-out for use during pregnancy or birth.

Reading it got me thinking about ways in which women awaken their birth power during pregnancy? How did you awaken yours? I’d love to hear about it and to write more about this topic!

I reflected on the ways in which I awakened my own birth power and my sense of confidence in my own inner wisdom. Here are the ways that I came up with when considering my own pregnancies and births:

+I read like a maniac 🙂 During my second pregnancy, I read a lot of literature about unassisted birth–though I didn’t have an unassisted birth (my midwife was there for 5 minutes of my son’s birth), I found the philosophies of unassisted birthers to be very inspiring.

+I maintained a daily yoga practice that included affirmations about my ability to give birth.

+I had specific dreams that reinforced my confidence.

+I journaled daily.

+I created birth art–needle felted birth goddess sculptures during my first pregnancy. Later, I drew womb labyrinth drawings–the labyrinth is a powerful metaphor for birth and I really connect with it. There are pictures of both of these on a very neglected other blog of mine.

+I talked extensively with my very birth positive friends–no horror stories from them!

+I formed my personal philosophy about birth and its role as a sacred rite of passage.

+My mother had a blessing way ceremony for me (with both my pregnancies) that made feel special and also confident and secure.

+The materials and philosophy on the Trust Birth website. I love their “what we believe” statement. It gives me chills!

+The book Birthing from Within–one of my all-time favorite birth books and a great birth power resource.

Nothing really worried me about my second birth or my ability to do so. I feel like I had a deep and true and physical sense of confidence and trust in birth. During my second pregnancy, it became a *knowing* for me that I was a capable birth giver. I had complete trust in my body and my baby. With my first pregnancy, I remembering feeling like I was studying for the biggest test of my life–I did not yet have the deep and true sense that developed during my second pregnancy (actually, I think developed as I read voraciously during the interim between my pregnancies). I also earned my certification as a childbirth educator during the interim between births and that also increased my confidence.

I attended a performance of Birth, the play, in St. Louis last weekend. While there, I picked up one of ICAN‘s flyers called “ICAN Birth” (sponsored by Hypnobabies). I think the flyer is an excellent resource for awakening your birth power, particularly the back panel with a list of things that, “if you were my sister, I’d tell you…” I’m going to order a bunch to give away in my class packets.

How do you awaken your birth power?