Tag Archive | birth

Questions During Labor

Dec20

One of the things I talk about in birth classes is about avoiding asking the laboring woman too many questions. Questions make her leave “birth brain” and throw off her rhythm and coping skills. I recently read a newsletter from Birthing from Within that touches on this issue in a beautifully articulate way:

“Watching this scene reminded me of what frequently happens to mothers in labor being admitted to the hospital. A mother is mustering up courage and immersed in the profound act of creation and personal transformation–but that is overlooked when she is asked, ‘When did you have your last bowel movement?’ and twenty other questions! When we recognize the hard work and intensity of labor, and stay present to the birthing woman’s experience, rather than blindly following our own agenda, we honor her Warrior spirit.“

Fathers at Birth Book

Dec11

Today, I was extremely excited to learn about a new book called Fathers at Birth by Rose St. John. I am really looking forward to reading it and I think there is a deep need for a book like this in the birth community. I am mindful of the need to include father-specific information in my birth classes, but I find it difficult sometimes to locate many good resources for fathers, or to develop class content that engages fathers in a relevant and connected way.

I will post more when I’ve read it!

Edited to add: I posted more about this book and fathers at birth here.

Breaking through…

Dec8

From the book Joyful Birth, I wanted to share this quote:

“The memory of [my son’s] birth has become a talisman that I hold in my heart as I journey deeper and deeper into motherhood. For these moment’s come again in every mother’s life–the times when we are asked to walk straight into our pain and fear, and in doing so, open up to a love that is greater than anything we ever could have imagined: all life’s beauty and wonder, as well as all the ways that things can break and go wrong…Again and again, motherhood demands that we break through our limitations, that we split our hearts open to make room for something that may be more than we thought we could bear. In that sense, the labor with which we give birth is simply a rehearsal for something we mothers must do over and over: turn ourselves inside out, and then let go.”

Pain-Free Birth?

Dec5

As I’ve referenced before, I have a special interest different theories with regard to pain and birth. The last issue of the Midwifery Today e-news had “Pain in Childbirth” as a theme and there was an excerpt of an article by Ingrid Bauer called “Pain Free Birth?” It was very powerful. She says:

“Inevitably, in discussions about unassisted or natural birth, the topic of pain-free birth rolls around. When it does, I wonder if striving for a ‘pain-free birth’ doesn’t inadvertently miss the potential beauty of natural birth itself. I don’t believe birth is meant to be pain-free, in fact, I believe it’s far more than that! I believe, and have experienced, birth to be downright ecstatically, blissfully pleasurable. ‘Pain-free’ doesn’t even come close to describing that experience. That’s like calling a high sexual union with your mate ‘pain-free,’ or the most breathtaking sunset you’ve ever seen ‘ugly-free.’ I think that as long we’re focusing on getting rid of or avoiding pain, we’re focusing on the wrong area and we’re completely missing the point.”

I love this! Language is so powerful. I like how Hypnobabies educators often refer to “easy, comfortable birthing” and other people who refer to birth as “pleasurable birth” or “joyful birth” or “ecstatic birth.” How much more descriptive than “pain-free” or “painless” that is. Painless or pain-free to me communicates a loss of sensation or awareness–a “deadness” or “dullness” to the fullness of birth.

Personal Mastery and Birth

Nov29

I wanted to share a link to a post I wrote recently for the ICEA blog. In this post I discussed some research from the book Childbirth Education: Research, Practice, & Theory:

The book also shares the research that when mothers were interviewed postpartum who had had epidurals, their comments following birth focused almost totally on the baby. Women who had relied on relaxation and other non-pharmaceutical coping methods talked about the baby AND about the emotional and psychological benefits of their birth experiences. Women in both groups expressed satisfaction with their birth experiences, but for those in the epidural group “the element of personal accomplishment or mastery was missing in their comments.”

I believe that starting out the parenting adventure with a sense of “personal accomplishment and mastery” is a tremendous gift and I wish all expectant couples had the opportunity to experience birth in this way. In my classes, I strive to emphasize that both process (giving birth) and product (healthy baby, healthy mom) are important!

As long as I’m discussing posts I’ve made elsewhere, I wanted to also link to my CfM blog post this week which was about what are we thankful for? (in the “birth world”). I have a lot to be thankful for and hope you do as well!

What’s at the root?

Nov19

On a discussion board this week in the birth professionals section (doulas, midwives, birth educators), someone asked the question “what’s at the root of your love of birth?” I was still for a moment and let my intuitive, heart-felt, gut level response come to me and it was this:

Women.

Women’s health, women’s issues, women’s empowerment, women’s rights.

Social justice.

…..

And, that feeling. The “birth power” feeling–that laughing/crying, euphoric, climbed-the-mountain, glowing, rapture…feeling. The transformative, empowering, triumphant, powerful, I DID IT, feeling.

I want all women to have the chance to experience that.

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As I look at my list above and invert it, it becomes my “tree” of birthwork–with women as the root and then spreading up to blossom with that birth-power-feeling. 🙂

To any birth professionals reading this, how about you? What’s at the root for you?

Who is your birth link?

Oct29

There is a survey up on the Independent Childbirth blog asking who your “birth link” is—your primary connection to information about birth. Traditionally, women learned about birth from other women—informal, woman-to-woman birth sharing. Culturally, we’ve moved away from this as our primary information source (often to our detriment!).

Of course, I think independent childbirth educators and independent birth classes are great “birth links” 🙂

Thinking back to my first pregnancy, my primary birth link was the newsgroup misc.kids.pregnancy. I learned so much there and they really shaped my attitudes and beliefs about birth. I have a very birth-positive mother, but I didn’t really go to her for birth information. I felt the need for my “peers” and I found those most readily online. My other link was reading (of course!). I read voraciously and always have. It was hard to transfer “book learning” to really feeling *prepared* to actually give birth though.

I also took an independent birth class. Since I was so extensively read, I do not remember feeling like I learned many new things from the classes.

During my second pregnancy, books were huge again, but this time around my in-person friends were also a very valuable birth link. I am lucky to have a wonderful network of birthy friends who can talk about birth with me for hours on end. One friend in particular was very inspiring to me as I worked through some “issues” I had from my first birth (the birthing itself was tremendously empowering and beautiful, but afterwards I had sequestered clots and a painful manual extraction of those, a pitocin shot, and also tearing that was traumatic for me for some time to come). My friend is a fabulous example of someone who really “trusts birth” and it was so great to talk with her during the course of my pregnancy <waves to Shauna…>

Why Honey Sticks During Labor?

Oct13

May 2015 146I have already written about eating during labor. One of my suggestions is honey sticks–but why honey sticks and where to buy them? Honey sticks, also called honey straws, are plastic tubes of honey similar in size to a drinking straw. During labor, honey sticks can provide an instant energy boost for a laboring mother. They are especially good to pack along if you are going to be laboring in a birth setting with restrictions on food or drink intake (read more here about why withholding food and drink from laboring women is not a good idea!). They are also handy if a mother is very tired and needs some quick energy, but is not interested in eating anything more substantial. Dads who are feeling a little tired or woozy in the birth room may also find honey sticks a quick boost for themselves as well! The sticks hold about a teaspoon of honey and you can  easily pop the end open with your teeth and suck the honey out.

Where to buy? Here are a couple of ideas:

Online store where you can buy individual fruit-flavored honey sticks.

Online store that carries plain honey sticks.

Online store that carries honey sticks in large quantities (perhaps you have lots of friends who’d like to share?)

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A Father’s Role

Oct11

I recently finished reading the new book Labor of Love by Cara Muhlhahn and I was struck by this quote:

“Anyone would cry to see the way families interact around a homebirth. In a home environment, the intimacy and integrity of the family, especially the father or partner, often have pivotal roles to play. In the hospital, these key players are mostly cast aside except to hold the woman’s hand and cheer her on: ‘Push!” At home, they can support the mother in any number of invaluable ways, from regulating the temperature of the water in the pool to preparing food or choosing her favorite music.”

I have noticed this as well–I recently watched the new documentary Orgasmic Birth and was struck by the glaring differences in how fathers behaved at home compared to in hospitals. At home, they embraced their wives. They danced, they murmured, they stroked, they kissed, they held. At the hospital, they held her hand or tentatively stroked her back (with body at a distance–just a hand reaching out to lightly touch her). I’ve seen this in real life as well. I tell men in my classes not to be “scared” of their wives in labor, but to walk through the waves (of discomfort, anxiety, whatever) and just hold and love her. I tell them that they do not need to be “trained” to be more “special” or different than they are. They don’t need to be doulas. What they need to do is love her the way they love her and reach out to her to show her that. I tell them that hospitals can be intimidating and it can be awkward to show physical affection in that setting, but to do reach past that and do it anyway. I’ve read a number of posts and emails recently about whether fathers belong at birth–I think they do, but I also think that the hospital climate too often discourages them from having a real role or being valuable. I think they can be stripped of their position as “lover” and “father” and left feeling helpless and useless.